That is funny. Who is running the show now? People can be so predictable sometimes. I know its easy for me to say this because I'm not in the middle of it like you are but still it's comical that she's trying to get back to her cake eating. Darn you for messing that up. You aren't supposed to kick her out you are supposed to just sulk and wallow for her while she plays at having her single life. Oh and take care of those pesky little things called "kids" while you are at it. Didn't you read the script she wrote?
I was just sitting here telling my business partner how I never realized how little I knew about dealing with my own wife.
You would think after 15 years, that I'd know how to handle everything thrown at me from her.
The scary part is the "scripts". It's even more amazing how many other people here are reading and writing the same script.
I'm surprised there's not more scientific research on it, since it is SO blatantly similar in nearly every cheater. I mean, it's fascinating how all these different people come up with the same lines and reactions and actions, without realizing it.
I'm surprised there's not more scientific research on it, since it is SO blatantly similar in nearly every cheater. I mean, it's fascinating how all these different people come up with the same lines and reactions and actions, without realizing it.
So true.
I've been reading some other posts, and I want to copy and paste my story in every one of them.
I want to write "yep, me too" on all of them.
I'm getting ready to leave my office, and I can honestly say that I'm afraid to go home.
There's pain there.
I feel my anxiety level rising at the thought of it.
Tell her if she wants to talk, you will be willing to do so with the two of you and a therapist.
If she poo-poos that, then you can smile and indicate that she mustn't want to talk that bad then.
Don't walk around on egg-shells. Don't walk around giving her the stink-eye.
You said your piece. You can clarify that ... calmly ... should you choose to.
You are giving her what she wants. All she has to do is seize the opportunity ... on her own.
Seriously though, if you don't feel like you have your emotions under control, DO NOT engage her in any kind of discussion about what's going on. Particularly given that NOT engaging her appears to be working wonders.
Almost got sucked in. She's good. I didn't realize how manipulating and calculating she was, until now.
I come home, and she's luke warm. I went along, and just stayed away. She decided to make dinner (first in months). I chose not to eat it, but I suggested she do it for the kids.
She comes over and gives me a sympathy hug. I back her off, and tell that the hugs are done.
I told her.... I said look... OK, you know this isn't something I pushed for, but that doesn't mean I don't intend to give it to you.
This is what you begged for, for the past three months.
I intend to figure how to make as painless as possible for my family..... regardless of how you planned on doing it.
Then I get the answer again..... She says: "give me some time to work through it", "Maybe I'll feel differently".
I told her that she was still on that old move, and it's played out.
I went to the park for a bike ride, came home and watched TV.
I noticed before I left, that she asked where I was going. That hasn't happened in quite a while.
She approached me with a funny look on her face a few hours later, then I made the mistake of engaging (I'll learn, I promise). I asked her if it was all worth it, in exchange for a little fun with a co worker. Then I caught myself, and said it didn't matter anyway....and walked away.
Also have, written down, a list of what you require from her to be able to consider staying married.
Until you have:
written OM (if appropriate) a No Contact letter that I approve and send myself
given me the passwords to your phone and computer
handed them over any time I ask for them without complaint, until I feel safe enough to quit triggering and asking
find and sign us up for the best marriage counseling you can find
attend said counseling for at least 6 months
actually done the homework given at said counseling such that we start to see mutual progress and a path to happiness
done enough soul searching that you come to realize that marriage takes work and I expect you to work at it just as much as me...
Until you have done these things, I think it's best we make plans to separate so I can find someone who DOES believe in these things.
Came home from the office with a bad headache. I was resting when.....
FWIW.... She is SO MAD right now!
I came home and took a nap. I'm laying down, and she comes over next to the bed, and starts giving me little pecks on the cheek.
I get up, and tell her to stop. She tells me that she hates to see me depressed.
I'm like... I'm not depressed, I'm disgusted with you, and your actions!
Also.... Since you decided that you no longer want to be married, I think it's time we stop ALL contact. I don't want your sympathy kisses or hugs. You've been fooling me with those for three months. I don't want you to call me anymore, nor will I call you. Don't text me, I won't text you.
She's leaving for work as I write this, and she's going all out with the makeup and hair... LOL
When I'm done, there's a good chance that I'll hate her guts.
She thinks if she pretties herself up you'll get jealous or won't be able to resist. Try your best not to look at her more than normal. If you can be unexpectedly gone when she arrives home, you will have successfully turned her plan around on her. If she asks where you were, just say "out". Posted via Mobile Device
That's why we recommend putting a time limit on waiting for changes before you just walk away. So you don't grow to hate them.
Yes, It's starting to make sense now.
I will establish a timeframe...Just not ready yet.
As she was leaving for work, she asks why I won't kiss her goodbye. I reminded her that she wouldn't even consider it while she was planing her escape.
At that point, I told her that I wanted her to understand that we should not have anymore contact in any form. I told her it took me three months to "get it", that she wanted out, and I intend to give it to her. I was very nice, and gentle, and I told her it's best this way.
She's fuming, BTW...
I told her i'd wave from the window. LOL
On the way out, she mumbles.... How am I supposed to get through work tonight?
I hate doing this, but I feel like she deserves every bit of the bastard I intend to give her.
BTW.... I briefly engaged her this morning, and I basically searched for the "nerve". In a matter of minutes, she was defending her EA to the fullest.
I strongly believe that she developed very strong emotions for her EA, and she resents me for the breakup.
Having that knowledge, will give me some closure.
She thinks if she pretties herself up you'll get jealous or won't be able to resist. Try your best not to look at her more than normal. If you can be unexpectedly gone when she arrives home, you will have successfully turned her plan around on her. If she asks where you were, just say "out". Posted via Mobile Device
OMG you read my game plan! I walked away, and retreated into my media room, for a quick video game.
Very hard to get my attention that way
She's working until midnight, the kids will be sleeping, I have a babysitter coming over (she doesn't know this) and I have plans to disappear tonight.
Just going to shoot some midnight pool with the guys.
I forgot you have kids. I think that you should text her that the babysitter is there so she doesn't freak out when she gets home. "I paid the babysitter to stay through midnight tonight so don't worry about paying her" and leave it at that. Posted via Mobile Device
I forgot you have kids. I think that you should text her that the babysitter is there so she doesn't freak out when she gets home. "I paid the babysitter to stay through midnight tonight so don't worry about paying her" and leave it at that. Posted via Mobile Device
She actually returned home a few seconds ago. She said she forgot something. (yeah right)
On the way out..... She asks if I was sure I didn't want to kiss her goodbye.
I said sure I'm sure. We have to start somewhere, don't we?
Today's the day we start to finish what you started.
Then I said Oh, BTW... I have "so and so" coming over for about an hour before you get home.
I have to meet Joe. (my friend), so I won't be here when you're finished.
She slammed door on the way out!
Re: Interpret this ladies.... 
