About six months ago around 2AM I awoke to my wife sort of shaking rhythmically in the bed. Being half asleep, I thought maybe she was scratching an itch or something (literally, not figuratively
). I paid it no mind the next day.
Then it happened again a few nights later. Then again a few nights after that. By this point, I suspect what's really going on and gently ask her about it. She looks genuinely astonished, so I again dismiss it. But it keeps happening, 2-3 nights out of the week. I'd bring it up occasionally, and she'd get first defensive, then angry, like starts telling me that's not what's happening and she wishes I'd just drop it sort of thing. So I do.
Now, for the last month, I've really upped my game with her, like to pre-marriage levels. She's responded incredibly well (turns out she likes sex, too, duh). So one night last week, we're laying in bed, and she says to me, "Hey Dave, that thing you think I do while I'm sleeping? Maybe the next time you wake up and you think I'm doing it, you should just take me. Like right then. That might be really hot."
I didn't say sh!t because quite frankly I'd have said the wrong damn thing. Instead, I thought "Very well." Now, like Chuck Norris, I do not sleep. I wait.