I wanted to ask the ladies of the group if they could help me understand if my wife is having an emotional affair with someone else online in a game.
If someone wants the history, my original thread with all the info is here: http://talkaboutmarriage.com/general...s-divorce.html
My wife and I play a game together a lot and she got very addicted to it. I know she does this because even with single player games she will get addicted to them because she has so much fun with them. I'm concered with this current game because it's very interactive and she gets a lot of attention from the guys online because she has a very likable personality. She says that she just likes playing and getting the attention in the game because she's been a stay at home Mom for the last 8 years and hasn't really had any social interaction with many people. She said she really likes some of the people she plays with and said she kind of has crushes on them but crushes can be ok, I guess those happen from time to time but it doesn't mean anything unless it's acted on. She stays up late a lot, from 11pm-2am often playing with this people/guys. She stayed up late a lot when she played the Xbox 360 game too when she played all by herself so that I guess is normal.
She still wants me to touch/hug/kiss her and all that and is still friendly to me and still wants to have date night every 2 weeks.
How can I tell if she is really having an emotional relationship with some of these people?
To me, this is killing me. I'm doing my best to not show my emotions - she already knows this bothers me as I've told her thats not right. This is so hard for me that I just wanted to see what other women thought. If I left out some details, please let know and I will reply back if anyone has any questions.
Thanks a bunch,
If she says that she has a cruch on them then she has a crush on them, and it means that she is very emotionaly involved with them.
If your wife was going out wiht male friends that she barely knew, and was to do so every single evening, and then was to tell you she had a crush on some of them, how would you see it?
Too many people still keep believeing the myth that onlines games and chats, and online relationships, are just mental or just an illusion, but they are not.
More and more people meet online and get married and have the most solid relationship compare with others.
So it talk agaisnt the illusion thing.
Also, many poeople work far away and have only the online connection to can be in touch with their wife and family, and no its not an illusion..they are real people, on both sides, and the marriage is real too..
Having a crush on someone is emotional.
She is emotionaly involved and need to become aware of it.
It seems to me that you both have little interest in outside activities and things you could do together beside computers activities.
It is going to take a serious effort on your wife to cut the addiction, because it is an addiction, I have seen it on many people and they simply become hooked on forums and have to ask for someone to close their account for them, there, to be able to quit!
There is many articles written by professionals on this subject, and i have also seen forum with special theread about how to quit this addiction with many witnesses of people having a serious problem with it and who had lost their job because of it, or had seriously damaged their relationships.
Some just like the feeling of being desired and to feel more selfsure and happy about themselves but some also take it a higher level and begin to compare with the hubby or wife beside them, and to enjoy better being online and having fun with someone else, than taking up whats wrong at home..
Her being online also deprive you from the social and intimate contacts with you, put you on second place, and reduce it to twice every 2 weeks. Thats too little.
She is spending more time with her crushes than with her husband..
It will only become worse with time, if you do not stop it by talking to her and by contacting the other guys and asking them to help her in this.
First of all she will have to become aware of the problem and aware of her dependency and to dont reduce it into being "only" a small thing, as i am sure she is doing, and defending herself with.
You can work it out with her, by asking her to quit it for a week or 2.
If she feels unable to do so, and feel the urge to be online, like an urge to drink for an alcoholic or an urge to take the next shot, for a drug addict, then confront her with the fact that she is addicted to it.
Most forum and online addicted people will go online and become more an dmore hooked on it by the hour and even unable to stop the computer till they drop on the keyboard.
it can also only happen by interval.
And the rest of the time be online as much as they can, as soon as they have some free time, to keep up the kind of interactions they are having there.
Some found it accilarating and cant stop.
Considering real life as the illusion, and a very disturbing and interfering one.. with their good and funny life online!
Ask her what you could do to help her coming out of it.