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post #1 of 5 (permalink) Old 06-30-2011, 06:59 PM Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2011
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Trying to let go but need ladies advise


Ive posted a few threads regarding my situation with my ex wife.

Background: She told me she didnt have feelings for me at all by the beg of feb. Im 27 and shes 23. Married for 3, together 6. 1 4 yr old boy. Moved out in feb and since early march had done a NC with her for 2.5 months. I still bump into her every now and then, at clubs, friends wedding etc but no talking.

In the last 2 months of NC, whenever i turn up to clubs etc, she and her friends always give me the stare. Not once but i caught her looking at me at least 3 - 4 times a night.

Last week: i initiated contact because i wanted a closure talk with her to tie all lose ends and move on with life. We were sending each other videos of our son (becos we share custody on a weekly basis). Very short conversations, just being nice to each other.

Monday, she came and collected all her stuff out of storage (becos i have now moved to a new place). I left our wedding photos in a box in the room and just as she was leaving, she went into my ensuite and sat there for about 5 mins. I walked in, and thought i saw her sobbing a little. So i went out to the front door, 5 mins later she came out and i asked her if she wanted to keep it, she politely said no.

Tuesday: We we just texting (i always initiate contact), and started going through out relationship. She said she regretted that we left things too late and now its too late. So i said, i needed a closure talk with her, was meant to be yesterday (she said she'll contact me) but never did contact me at all. She also said this "we'll always have feelings for each other. We'll do the closure to be fair on your gf" ( i was sort of dating someone but it ended 2 weeks ago because i couldnt commit and i was still in love with my ex wife) , thus is why i needed closure. I told her i dont know what to do with our wedding stuff (photos etc - althought she did take her dress/wedding gowns - with her on monday). So she said "I dont know what to do with them either.. thats why i didnt take them..maybe just store them somewhere so you dont have to see them?

I also said the closure was a good thiing for her so she can move on. I believe she is casually seeing this guy (on FB listed as her brother - i know him as well but not well) but not official. Im not sure if she seeing someone because ii said it'll be fair on her bf too and she just said "LOL.. ok". She never said she wasnt dating. She also said that guys cant change her and she is not willing to risk(love) anyone anymore. She doesnt believe in love she says.

After tuesday, there was no contact from her. So i decided to give her space. She was telling me that she still cares for me a lot and i meant a lot to her as well on the texts on tuesday.

I guess my question is to wait? Should i give her more time? we've only been separated for 3 months but still bump into each other every now and then. i still want her back.. for the sake of my son and i still love her to bits. My heart crashes even after 3 months and even after ive been with another girl. I was her first love/first boyfriend though and a lot of people say shes still young and wants to experience the single party life. I dont know if i should wait, i really want to. But then, i need to move on as well. I really think shes my soulmate and dreamgirl.

Yes people, i might be stupid. But id rather be stupid than regret for the rest of my life that i just let me dream girl go without even doing anything for her.

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post #2 of 5 (permalink) Old 07-01-2011, 09:04 AM
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Re: Trying to let go but need ladies advise

File and be done
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post #3 of 5 (permalink) Old 07-01-2011, 09:15 AM
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Re: Trying to let go but need ladies advise

Yes time to file and be done.
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post #4 of 5 (permalink) Old 07-01-2011, 05:12 PM Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2011
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Re: Trying to let go but need ladies advise

to ur reponses.. im sorry but can u two please justify your responses on my situation? i know u two have read from my previous posts..

I mean what were the stares about? what was all that "we'll always feel sth for each other".. i mean if ur really over someone.. nth matters and she would have told me to chuck out the wedding photos straight up. Also if she really wanted me to move on why wouldnt she text me on thursday and just me up for closure? at least on my part..

Two choices ppl say,

one is if u love someone, let it go.
second is to fight for the person u love and not give up.

Well i choose B for now until i confirm that she is really seeing this guy.
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post #5 of 5 (permalink) Old 07-01-2011, 06:32 PM
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Re: Trying to let go but need ladies advise

if you wait your going to get heartbroken again, while me and my ex husband were separated well we are still separated but in the first year i tried to not give up on him but he was secretly dating another woman, now 2 years into our separation he has a gf and i have a bf and we are much happier now we also have a son and daughter together in the best interest of the children we went our separate ways and you should too you'd be much happier
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