is there anybody dealing with the same issues and if so can you please tell me how to deal with it! I have been so supportive, but it's starting to take it's toll on me bc I still have strong sexual feeling for him
No feeling? Numbness? No sex drive, ED? Prostate surgery can have that side effect. There's is a matrix of nerves underneath the prostate which can be damaged by surgical intervention. He should immediately return to his urologist for a follow up and recommendations.
Is there a reason why your husband isn't willing to still try and please you? There are lots of things that can be done that don't involve a penis - he still has his hands and mouth, yes? There are toys and other aids that could be used.
I think this kind of surgery and losing this aspect of yourself would be very daunting for a man, and he likely needs all of your love and compassion to help him get through it.
Is there a reason why your husband isn't willing to still try and please you? There are lots of things that can be done that don't involve a penis - he still has his hands and mouth, yes? There are toys and other aids that could be used.
I think this kind of surgery and losing this aspect of yourself would be very daunting for a man, and he likely needs all of your love and compassion to help him get through it.
He is willing to do anything I ask him to do. He feels like he has to give me intercourse which I tell him I don't need.I need his touch but at the same time I want him to feel the same way as I do and he doesn't. His sexual desire he says is gone! and before surgery he was very active and now it's really hard for him to adjust to his new life style. He has the pump and recently they gave him suppository, but he says it makes it burn. When he uses the pump the whole time he saying how sorry he is and I try to resuure him it's ok we will get through this.
No feeling? Numbness? No sex drive, ED? Prostate surgery can have that side effect. There's is a matrix of nerves underneath the prostate which can be damaged by surgical intervention. He should immediately return to his urologist for a follow up and recommendations.
The doctor was able to spare his nerves, but they say now he has low T and will not give him anything for it until it's been a year into surgery. He never misses his follow up appts. He's tried taking all the meds but they give him headaches.
If it makes you feel better... I good friend had this surgery a few years ago. I recall him saying that he lost feeling, and couldn't do anything. After about a year or so, he was OK. I remember laughing with him, that his wife thinks he uses a pump, and it's hidden in his ass.
There's also the emotional aspect of what your husband went through. Anything that has to do with that area, could also play a psychological role in his ability to rise to the occasion. (no pun)
If it makes you feel better... I good friend had this surgery a few years ago. I recall him saying that he lost feeling, and couldn't do anything. After about a year or so, he was OK. I remember laughing with him, that his wife thinks he uses a pump, and it's hidden in his ass.
There's also the emotional aspect of what your husband went through. Anything that has to do with that area, could also play a psychological role in his ability to rise to the occasion. (no pun)
Well I know it's been only a few months and I have done so much homework on how long it could take and I see alot of men takes up to a year depending their age and other things. He's young so we are hoping for the best! And yes you are so right this has affected his ability being a man. I just wish their was something I could do to make him feel again. He never smiles anymore and he just recently got over back surgery and now this
Is there still a prostate? If so, and forgive me if this is indelicate but you could try direct prostate stimulation with an aneros (non vibrator) or an aneros vice (vibrator)
The doctor was able to spare his nerves, but they say now he has low T and will not give him anything for it until it's been a year into surgery. He never misses his follow up appts. He's tried taking all the meds but they give him headaches.
Ok, so there is long term hope then. He can get testosterone after a year.
It is understandable this would be a huge deal for him.
Maybe drop the subject for a while, and let him just get past everything he's been through.
He may get the urge on his own, and then your problem will just go away.
Is there still a prostate? If so, and forgive me if this is indelicate but you could try direct prostate stimulation with an aneros (non vibrator) or an aneros vice (vibrator)
Lol They removed the entire prostate, but good suggestion anyway
Maybe drop the subject for a while, and let him just get past everything he's been through.
He may get the urge on his own, and then your problem will just go away.
Don't pressure him.
Your right in the beginning I was pressuring him without me noticing it. He told me to be patient, so I have backed off. It's just hard for me to hide my emotions and when he ask I try and tell him something else but he knows he way to well.I'm the type of person I have to let it out and not hold back my feelings that's why I'm on here so I can tell how I feel. In the end he knows I'm there for him and will always do whatever I can to help him get thru this rough time
Your right in the beginning I was pressuring him without me noticing it. He told me to be patient, so I have backed off. It's just hard for me to hide my emotions and when he ask I try and tell him something else but he knows he way to well.I'm the type of person I have to let it out and not hold back my feelings that's why I'm on here so I can tell how I feel. In the end he knows I'm there for him and will always do whatever I can to help him get thru this rough time
Sounds like you are being an awesome wife. I don't know whether this even exists, but are there support groups for couples or a spouse who are in your circumstances? It seems like it might be helpful.
husbands sex life after prostate surgery 
