So here is the situation.....
I am engaged to a man I love with all my heart. We have been together 5 1/2 years, engaged for 3 1/2 years. We have been through sooo much together, much more than I care to explain here...We have had many very good times and many very bad times. We have this connection that is unbelievable. I truley feel that we were meant to be together and I will do anything I need to to fix and/or better our relationship...
With that being said lately I am beginning to feel resentful of him. I know that this is not good, and that I need to talk to him about it, but the problem is I do not know how to go about telling him the things that are bothering me because they are all things about him. I know him very well and I know if I begin telling him these things he will just become defensive, angry and upset and it will get us no where. However, if I hold these things inside the resentment will continue to grow and may eventually cause even bigger problems.
We were arguing the other day and I decided to make a list about why I was so angry with him and it actually surprised me to see how many deep issues that I have been pushing away came out. I realized that there are many things that seem little alone, that when put together become a big issue. There are also big issues that I try not to acknowledge because they worry and hurt me too much.
Now I know I am not perfect. I have many flaws, and do many things that I'm sure he does not love. I am very insecure and jealous, and I tend to overreact about things. I am also a bit of a perfectionist, and he says I am controlling.
I understand all this and am trying to change these things not only for our relationship, but for myself...However, the things that are bothering me currently are pretty much all related to him. We have been arguing and not talking for the past few days because I am very bothered by these things but do not know how to go about talking to him about them, therefore I am just coming off as a *****.
I hate it when things are like this. I hate it when we argue and when this distance comes between us. I long to be content again, to feel that overwhelming feeling of hapiness and love that is usually present, but the resentment that is building is pushing me away.
I know the obvious thing to do is get over it and talk to him about how I am feeling, but how can I do that without making him feel attacked, unappreciated, and angry?