Hi Ladies, I haven't been on TAM for quite a while but I used to post in the sex section as I was worried about our no sex marriage. I've now accepted that our marriage will not involve sex. However, during a recent row my H pushed me which is causing me serious concern.
We'd been out to a local bar with a friend of mine who has just moved intonew apartment in our village. My H was tired and wanted to go home (we live a two minute walk away from the bar).. My friend an I were chatting with a bunch of friends, so I said we'd be home when we'd finished our drinks. As it was, we took a couple of hours (just got caught up in chatting with the girls) and then proceeded to walk home (friend was staying at our house that night). As we approached the house, my H came storming down the street in an absolute rage, calling us both *****es and c**ts and saying we should have finished our drinks ages ago. He walked right into my friend, headbutting her (not hard, but enough to leave sore patch the next day). I thought it was an accident. When we went into the house, he continued to rant, calling us awful names and then walked over to me (I was trying to get him to lower his voice and calm down) and pushed me. It wasn't hard and I wasn't hurt, but I'm really concerned about this - it's physical abuse.
I immediately told him I want a divorce (the first time I've ever mentioned divorce) as physical abuse of this sort is a deal breaker for me. We've since talked about it - he said he's never hit a woman before but I'm not sure I believe him. He told me that his ex partner beat herself up, bruising her face and blacking an eye and then called the police to try to get him arrested for beating her up. I now suspect that he did beat her up although he swears that he didn't. I've agreed to wait three months (this was two months ago, so I have a month to go) to give him the chance to turn things around. I really can't see me changing my mind - I'm sleeping in the spare room and can't see myself ever wanting to get in to bed with him again (ironic as I originally joined TAM looking for some solutions to the fact that my H never wanted sex with me and I was absolutely desperate for him to at first).
Basically, I think that once a guy has hit his wife once, it's only a matter of time before he does it again - I really feel that the right (and safest) option for me is to leave before he actually hits me. does anybody here have any experience of domestic abuse and am I right in thinking that it will continue and get worse?
We'd been out to a local bar with a friend of mine who has just moved intonew apartment in our village. My H was tired and wanted to go home (we live a two minute walk away from the bar).. My friend an I were chatting with a bunch of friends, so I said we'd be home when we'd finished our drinks. As it was, we took a couple of hours (just got caught up in chatting with the girls) and then proceeded to walk home (friend was staying at our house that night). As we approached the house, my H came storming down the street in an absolute rage, calling us both *****es and c**ts and saying we should have finished our drinks ages ago. He walked right into my friend, headbutting her (not hard, but enough to leave sore patch the next day). I thought it was an accident. When we went into the house, he continued to rant, calling us awful names and then walked over to me (I was trying to get him to lower his voice and calm down) and pushed me. It wasn't hard and I wasn't hurt, but I'm really concerned about this - it's physical abuse.
I immediately told him I want a divorce (the first time I've ever mentioned divorce) as physical abuse of this sort is a deal breaker for me. We've since talked about it - he said he's never hit a woman before but I'm not sure I believe him. He told me that his ex partner beat herself up, bruising her face and blacking an eye and then called the police to try to get him arrested for beating her up. I now suspect that he did beat her up although he swears that he didn't. I've agreed to wait three months (this was two months ago, so I have a month to go) to give him the chance to turn things around. I really can't see me changing my mind - I'm sleeping in the spare room and can't see myself ever wanting to get in to bed with him again (ironic as I originally joined TAM looking for some solutions to the fact that my H never wanted sex with me and I was absolutely desperate for him to at first).
Basically, I think that once a guy has hit his wife once, it's only a matter of time before he does it again - I really feel that the right (and safest) option for me is to leave before he actually hits me. does anybody here have any experience of domestic abuse and am I right in thinking that it will continue and get worse?