Again, I appreciate everyone's point of view.
A couple of points:
1) I am not freaking out or going into histrionics. If I said now I hired a PI, read all of her texts, got a keylogger, voice activated recorder or spy software as is sometimes suggested on this site because of that text, then I think you could make that assumption.
It was also not my intention to convey that I thought there was a "mad cap love affair going on." But a casual reading of this site would indicate most business affairs start with small comments and flirtations before growing to something bigger, which is why I was searching for opinions on whether or not it is common communication method.
2) Winks to family members, female best friends, etc. totally discounts the context and receiver of the message. If the text said: That's surprising, your presentations are generally pretty bad ;-) I would not have given it a second thought, I see the sarcasm.
How many of your texts are to men, where the context of the wink is not obvious? for example:
a) If you don't RSVP soon, you will miss out on the best party of the year
- I get that message
b) If you don't RSVP soon, you will miss out on my warm cherry pie
- I think would be inappropriate.
Another thought, could it be an age thing? Would the message be viewed differently coming from a 26 year-old woman vs. a 47 year-old woman?