Ladies,
This is my first time on here and I could use some “words of wisdom”. My husband and I have been married for four years. For the most part, our marriage has been pretty good. Last July I gave birth to our son. That day was not one that made us closer. In fact, I think it may have pushed us farther apart emotionally. While I was in the hospital and “ready” to give birth, my husband was sleeping in a chair next to me. I had an epidural and the internal heart and contraction monitor so moving was not easy. When the nurses came in, I tried to wake my husband, but he did not respond to my voice so I nudged him with my foot. He responded with a rude “WHAT!”. I looked around to see if anyone heard him and the nurses did. I told him not to talk to me like that and it was time. He said that he needed to go smoke a cigarette. Well that was a year ago.. Let’s move forward.
Before our son arrived, my husband and I both had full time jobs. My husband’s job did not pay as well as mine and worked him like a dog. We decided that it would be best if he stayed at home with our son while I worked. (Can anyone see where this is going?) My job is still pretty demanding. I am required to stay overnight once a month for meetings. That was emotionally, very hard for me to do after having my son. I bit the bullet and did what I needed to do to provide for my family.
My son is a year old and I am six months pregnant. I still work full time and my husband stills stays home. There are times when I come home and he is napping with the baby and I do get aggravated because the house work is not always done, but I’m pretty easy going for the most part. Our son has been having issues sleeping for the last three nights. We’ve been bringing him into our bed at about 2:30AM each night, but when he is in our bed, I can’t sleep because I worry about rolling over on him and he moves around a lot. Last night our son woke up and my husband brought him in our bed. I told him that I can not have him in our bed tonight because I really need to get some sleep. My husband said that our son was cold and put him in our bed anyway. I cuddled with the baby for a bit and went into his room, put a thicker blanket on the bottom of his crib, took the fans out of his windows and shut the windows and got a thicker blanket for him to cover up with. I picked the sleeping baby up and moved him from our bed into his own. He woke up and started crying. I sat in a chair that was in his room and he laid down and was going back to sleep. I thought that he may need some Tylenol because he is cutting his one year molars. When I left the room to get the Tylenol, he started screaming. I came in and tried to give it to him, but he would not take it. At this time, I’m over tired and getting a little frustrated. My husband is lying in our bed (trying) to sleep. I went into our room and said “Could you please get up and help me, you can take a nap during the day, I can’t”
He got up and acted like he was going to punch the wall, but slapped it instead. He started yelling at me “You’re so selfish, Let my son sleep in our f****** bed. He wants to sleep in here”. I responded with “I can’t sleep when he is sleeping with us.” At this point we were both upset and yelling. He went into the kitchen, ran some water and started banging some stuff around. I went up to him and told him that I need some sleep. I’m six months pregnant and work full time. He kept saying that our son was fine sleeping in our bed. During this argument my baby boy was still upset. I couldn’t take his mouth on me anymore and I slapped his face. (Not one of my better moments.) He acted like he was going to hit me, but didn’t. (It kills me to think that we argued over who was going to take care of him. That baby did not deserve to hear us fighting.)
Anyway, I ended up going for a drive to calm down. When I came home, the little guy was still awake and he did end up in bed with me. I had to cuddle with him and make him feel better. I felt and still feel awful.
I don’t know what to do at this point. I need to get more sleep. I tried taking a nap at 7:00pm yesterday, but my husband said that he needed help with our baby. That was not a big deal. I wanted sleep, but I got up to help feed and clean my son. I played with him for awhile and then tried to go back to sleep at 10:00pm. My husband stayed up watching Larry the Cable guy until 12:00am, woke me up when he came to bed and my baby was up at 2:30 am. I did not get back to sleep until 4:00am because I lost my mind for a moment and I had to wake at 6:00am for work. I ended up snoozing until about 7:00am and went to with as little preparation a person can possibly manage to have without getting fired.
I could really use some sort of advice. I’ve thought about leaving, but I can’t do that to my baby. My baby does love his father and he is a good father, but he doesn’t take care of me. My daughter will be here in three months. I’m scared that I’m not going to be able to handle it. I don’t want my children to feel like a burden of any kind. I don’t want them to see or hear their parents fight. I want them to grow up in a stable, well adjusted household. My husband and I both grew up with alcoholic fathers and bi-polar mothers. Lol.. Maybe we should have thought about that when we noticed that common factor. The worst part is that I’m still broken up about this fight today and he acts as if everything is fine and nothing happened. He did apologize, but I don’t feel good. I’m still very upset.
This is my first time on here and I could use some “words of wisdom”. My husband and I have been married for four years. For the most part, our marriage has been pretty good. Last July I gave birth to our son. That day was not one that made us closer. In fact, I think it may have pushed us farther apart emotionally. While I was in the hospital and “ready” to give birth, my husband was sleeping in a chair next to me. I had an epidural and the internal heart and contraction monitor so moving was not easy. When the nurses came in, I tried to wake my husband, but he did not respond to my voice so I nudged him with my foot. He responded with a rude “WHAT!”. I looked around to see if anyone heard him and the nurses did. I told him not to talk to me like that and it was time. He said that he needed to go smoke a cigarette. Well that was a year ago.. Let’s move forward.
Before our son arrived, my husband and I both had full time jobs. My husband’s job did not pay as well as mine and worked him like a dog. We decided that it would be best if he stayed at home with our son while I worked. (Can anyone see where this is going?) My job is still pretty demanding. I am required to stay overnight once a month for meetings. That was emotionally, very hard for me to do after having my son. I bit the bullet and did what I needed to do to provide for my family.
My son is a year old and I am six months pregnant. I still work full time and my husband stills stays home. There are times when I come home and he is napping with the baby and I do get aggravated because the house work is not always done, but I’m pretty easy going for the most part. Our son has been having issues sleeping for the last three nights. We’ve been bringing him into our bed at about 2:30AM each night, but when he is in our bed, I can’t sleep because I worry about rolling over on him and he moves around a lot. Last night our son woke up and my husband brought him in our bed. I told him that I can not have him in our bed tonight because I really need to get some sleep. My husband said that our son was cold and put him in our bed anyway. I cuddled with the baby for a bit and went into his room, put a thicker blanket on the bottom of his crib, took the fans out of his windows and shut the windows and got a thicker blanket for him to cover up with. I picked the sleeping baby up and moved him from our bed into his own. He woke up and started crying. I sat in a chair that was in his room and he laid down and was going back to sleep. I thought that he may need some Tylenol because he is cutting his one year molars. When I left the room to get the Tylenol, he started screaming. I came in and tried to give it to him, but he would not take it. At this time, I’m over tired and getting a little frustrated. My husband is lying in our bed (trying) to sleep. I went into our room and said “Could you please get up and help me, you can take a nap during the day, I can’t”
He got up and acted like he was going to punch the wall, but slapped it instead. He started yelling at me “You’re so selfish, Let my son sleep in our f****** bed. He wants to sleep in here”. I responded with “I can’t sleep when he is sleeping with us.” At this point we were both upset and yelling. He went into the kitchen, ran some water and started banging some stuff around. I went up to him and told him that I need some sleep. I’m six months pregnant and work full time. He kept saying that our son was fine sleeping in our bed. During this argument my baby boy was still upset. I couldn’t take his mouth on me anymore and I slapped his face. (Not one of my better moments.) He acted like he was going to hit me, but didn’t. (It kills me to think that we argued over who was going to take care of him. That baby did not deserve to hear us fighting.)
Anyway, I ended up going for a drive to calm down. When I came home, the little guy was still awake and he did end up in bed with me. I had to cuddle with him and make him feel better. I felt and still feel awful.
I don’t know what to do at this point. I need to get more sleep. I tried taking a nap at 7:00pm yesterday, but my husband said that he needed help with our baby. That was not a big deal. I wanted sleep, but I got up to help feed and clean my son. I played with him for awhile and then tried to go back to sleep at 10:00pm. My husband stayed up watching Larry the Cable guy until 12:00am, woke me up when he came to bed and my baby was up at 2:30 am. I did not get back to sleep until 4:00am because I lost my mind for a moment and I had to wake at 6:00am for work. I ended up snoozing until about 7:00am and went to with as little preparation a person can possibly manage to have without getting fired.
I could really use some sort of advice. I’ve thought about leaving, but I can’t do that to my baby. My baby does love his father and he is a good father, but he doesn’t take care of me. My daughter will be here in three months. I’m scared that I’m not going to be able to handle it. I don’t want my children to feel like a burden of any kind. I don’t want them to see or hear their parents fight. I want them to grow up in a stable, well adjusted household. My husband and I both grew up with alcoholic fathers and bi-polar mothers. Lol.. Maybe we should have thought about that when we noticed that common factor. The worst part is that I’m still broken up about this fight today and he acts as if everything is fine and nothing happened. He did apologize, but I don’t feel good. I’m still very upset.