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Old 11-03-2011, 10:24 AM   #16 (permalink)
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Default Re: To women who have cheated on their husbands...

lonelylady, a simple "no he didn't know and still doesn't" would have sufficed to answer the OP.

The fact that you went in to much more detail suggests that you are spending a lot of emotional energy on your situation. You still cannot resolve the fact that you have outright lied to your H and continue to do so, and are acting cruel enough to watch him be the fool you made him into. You will never find happiness as long as you continue to lie to yourself. Shaggy's comment is spot on.

BTW, I had to check the dates and details in your story because I kept thinking you may be my WW coming to this site for answers... Your H may have lost your respect, but if you leave others to discover the truth for themselves, they will ALL lose their respect for you.
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Old 11-04-2011, 12:59 AM   #17 (permalink)
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Default Re: To women who have cheated on their husbands...

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Were you able to carry on your activities undetected? Was your husband oblivious to what you were doing,and what kind of measures did you take to make sure it stayed that way if that was the case?

Curious.

My husband never suspected a thing or so I thought. My first EA lasted about 9 months.. I never met him in person. He was a bit shady and i got red flags with him.

The last one lasted about 3 months I met him a few times. This guy didn't want to take it any further he didn't want to get hurt again (he had been divorced recently, his wife cheated on him.) He did tell me that he did have feeling for me and that we could not take it any further, since i was still married. i was in agreement. I am happy that it did not go any further.. I would have felt like total crap..

I never called them, ever. Only communicated through email and chat. If i were to call them i would have used a pay phone. I actually left my email open a couple of times.. accidently.

A couple of months ago I asked my husband IF he wanted me to have an affair.. he said i thought you already had.. I said not sexually. So he did know, but didn't say anything about it.

No more affairs of any kind for me... If i feel the need then i will leave first

Last edited by ladybird; 11-04-2011 at 01:07 AM.
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Old 11-04-2011, 09:33 AM   #18 (permalink)
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Default Re: To women who have cheated on their husbands...

Nothing like stumbling across a picture of your wife's car in the OM's driveway on Google Earth Street Level View! That one is hard to hide!
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Old 11-07-2011, 09:37 AM   #19 (permalink)
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Default Re: To women who have cheated on their husbands...

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LonelyLady -

I hope you are a troll. If not, I have no idea what would compel you to come to a marriage forum and spew this nonsense. Do your husband a favor and just divorce him, but be sure to tell him the real reason first. You at least owe that to the man you once loved enough to marry. I have a feeling that you will someday realize what you have lost.
Her story was waaaay too laid out to be a troll post. This is actually happened. Its hard for me to rip her, because i think she is already hurting, just on the inside where no one can see her. She's got the ultimate "buyer's remorse" in regards to every gal/guy who thinks the grass is always greener.

I love how she spent the first night in opposite beds... you are in the hotel... for the weekend with the guy you are having an EA with, she knew exactly what was going to happen. You put me in a hotel with a good looking female stranger for a weekend, i'm tapping that before the weekend is over... trust me.
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Old 11-08-2011, 08:26 PM   #20 (permalink)
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Default Re: To women who have cheated on their husbands...

The grass isn't always greener on the other side. Sometimes it is far worse.

Usually things that start off wrong (as in an affair) end badly.

The typical affairs only lasts 2 years, after the cat is out of the bag, and have left their marriages...

I was the other woman (he wasn't married, but it still didn't make it right.) Granted we have been together 15 years marred over 14 years.

I am seeing a lot of things going on that went on between him and his x while they were still together. the way he treats me and has shut me out amongst other things.

He did it to her, he can do the same to me... If they will cheat with you they can and will possibly cheat on you.
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Old 11-08-2011, 09:41 PM   #21 (permalink)
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Nothing like stumbling across a picture of your wife's car in the OM's driveway on Google Earth Street Level View! That one is hard to hide!
Holy CRAP.
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Old 11-09-2011, 10:51 AM   #22 (permalink)
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Default Re: To women who have cheated on their husbands...

Of course not. Cheaters aren't that invested in whether you find out or not. It makes perfect sense. That's why they're rolling around in the sack with someone else.
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Old 11-09-2011, 03:20 PM   #23 (permalink)
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What's with all the threads about women cheating? Men cheating is a far bigger problem. Do men somehow have to convince themselves that women cheat as much to feel better about themselves?
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Old 11-09-2011, 03:37 PM   #24 (permalink)
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Default Re: To women who have cheated on their husbands...

He might know - he's not stupid, but we're both incredibly busy, and I try to take every precaution possible. If he does know, he hasn't said anything yet.
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Old 11-09-2011, 04:45 PM   #25 (permalink)
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He might know - he's not stupid, but we're both incredibly busy, and I try to take every precaution possible. If he does know, he hasn't said anything yet.
Well let's hope he gets smarter and catches you soon.
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Old 11-09-2011, 07:45 PM   #26 (permalink)
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What's with all the threads about women cheating? Men cheating is a far bigger problem. Do men somehow have to convince themselves that women cheat as much to feel better about themselves?
My observations are that few men I know cheat, but many women do. It may not be a scientific study, but I believe that probably more wives cheat than husbands. Before marriage it may be the other direction, with more bf's cheating than gf's, idk. But in marriages it looks like wives are bigger cheaters.
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Old 11-10-2011, 09:56 AM   #27 (permalink)
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Default Re: To women who have cheated on their husbands...

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Well let's hope he gets smarter and catches you soon.
Posted via Mobile Device


It's one thing to be honest on the TAM forums, and we appreciate it, but being honest with you spouse is atleast a million times more important, and so the earlier post thanking a_girl for her honesty should be rescinded.
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Old 11-10-2011, 11:06 AM   #28 (permalink)
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Default Re: To women who have cheated on their husbands...

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What's with all the threads about women cheating? Men cheating is a far bigger problem. Do men somehow have to convince themselves that women cheat as much to feel better about themselves?
I think that the reason there are so many threads about women cheating here is that when men cheat on women the woman generally turns to friends or family to talk to and get advice from. On the other hand when women cheat on men it seems the man is less willing to open up to the people in his life so they turn to forums like this for help. This is JMO, no scientific proof, just something I've noticed about the people I know.
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Old 11-10-2011, 11:09 AM   #29 (permalink)
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I think that the reason there are so many threads about women cheating here is that when men cheat on women the woman generally turns to friends or family to talk to and get advice from. On the other hand when women cheat on men it seems the man is less willing to open up to the people in his life so they turn to forums like this for help. This is JMO, no scientific proof, just something I've noticed about the people I know.
Most cheating involves a man and a woman. Seems to make sense to me that there would be some comparabiltiy in the number of affairs among each gender.

And yes - I know you could argue different ways (more women serial cheaters, single women more likely to be involved with married men, etc, etc) - but what I've seen here supports that cheating is fairly even among H's and W's.
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Old 11-10-2011, 11:45 AM   #30 (permalink)
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Most cheating involves a man and a woman. Seems to make sense to me that there would be some comparabiltiy in the number of affairs among each gender.

And yes - I know you could argue different ways (more women serial cheaters, single women more likely to be involved with married men, etc, etc) - but what I've seen here supports that cheating is fairly even among H's and W's.
I wasn't saying that I thought one gender cheated more than the other. I was just giving my opinion as to why, on this particular site, there does seem to be more stories of cheating wives than cheating husbands. I do personally believe that more married men cheat than married women, but that does come from my own experiences with people I've known. Most of what I've witnessed personally has been wives who are unhappy, but also unwilling to risk financial hardship or break up her family for sex. On the other hand I've watched several married male acquaintences give in to the advances of a younger single woman who look like lots of fun without the stress, or a divorced woman who knows exactly what buttons to push.
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