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Is your husband your best friend?

12K views 54 replies 40 participants last post by  desert-rose 
#1 ·
Well...is he? I still consider my two childhood friends as my best friends though I feel that now since I have moved and recently got married he will become my best friend. Don't get me wrong, we are close but when I hear of women saying that their man is their best friend it has me thinking. Is he mine or is he just my husband? What do you guys think?
 
#4 ·
My husband is most definitely my very best friend. I feel that he is the only person in this world that I can tell ANYTHING and he would never repeat it and is always willing to listen and will be there for me no matter what. We have been married almost 25 years.
 
#5 ·
When I met my then boyfriend/now husband at age 15, my relationship with my BEST BEST BEST girlfriend (we were like sisters, the one I never had, the one she lost at birth- her words ) ....was starting to take a turn.... she was slowly moving towards newer & more exciting friends (I think I was too moral and she was getting her wings to be more intimate with the guys, FUN, staying out all night, smoking, a little drinking etc) ....and I was really down about these things-that she was moving on. I was never the type to go along with any crowd, I didn't care for the crowd she was leaning too, so I stayed who I was but a little too uptight for them. I did hang with them for a time though. But it did hurt deeply -for me, as I felt we would forever be "BEST" friends, remain a constant in each othes lives, grow old together. Of coarse we never lost touch, she was still my chosen for Maid of Honor in my Wedding, a friend on FB today living states apart.

Once I met HIM, well, it suddenly became clear I had a NEW Best friend and he was alot more fun in alot more ways! HE eased that jealous girlfriend best friends loss I was feeling.

Never since meeting HIM has any female friend been able to superceed that term "BEST" in my life. He is my BEST friend, has been since the year we met. For our wedding invitations, I purposely looked for something to focus on the "friendship" aspect of our relationship, when I found this , the search was over:





It would be foreign for me to imagine how a friend outside of a marraige could be "closer". Not saying it is wrong, just that it is so much a PART of MY personal experience, I can not imagine it another way.

My husband has never had a friend as close as ME. I would consider my love for that dear Girlfriend before him very very entagled though, she was a "BEST" as he is a "BEST". And of coarse I have other very close friends, we talk about it ALL , but they will never be "Best" in my eyes , I don't think they are bothered by that. :)
 
#9 ·
Do you think it helped that you guys met when you were in your teens that he instantly became your closest friend while your female besties were out being typical teenagers?

I met husband as an adult...after going through childhood and the teenage years and even a little bit of my adult years with my female besties. They were there for me through the toughest parts of my life while he's like, a new addition, you know? I do feel that as time passes and we go through many more things together and I drift apart from my childhood friends that he will be bumped up to being the best friend I've ever had.
 
#6 ·
friend (frnd) n.
- A person whom one knows, likes, and trusts.
- A person with whom one is allied in a struggle or cause; a comrade.
- A person attached to another by feelings of affection or personal regard.
- A person who gives assistance; patron; supporter
- A person who is on good terms with another; a person who is not hostile


Yes, my husband is my friend.

But, he's much, much more than that and that puts him on a different plane that the other friends I have.

I have many female friends, but I don't have any male friends (just acquaintances and co-workers) other than him, so he holds a unique position. :)
 
#14 ·
I know that when something awesome/horrible happens in my day, he is the first person I want to tell.

He is starting to tell me again about his craptastic/awesome days. There was a time when we didn't talk at all. I love his random texts about his day. Makes me smile :)
 
#15 ·
I love my close friends but there's few people I actually want to be around consistently. I seem to have an internal clock-off time, where I need to be in my own space again. While I like to sometimes have time to listen to music alone, my H truly is the one person that I love being with all the time. He's my favorite person to be around.

He calls me on my bullsh*t when needed, he's soft and hugs me close when I need that, he knows me better than anyone, he sees me as I am, he's privy to all aspects of my personality, he listens and advices, he's trustworthy and honest. He's everything I could ever want in a best friend.

As for girl friends, when we were going through our issues I confided in a close female friend. I never spoke a bad word about him, it was more situational. She didn't give her opinion, she just let me vent. My friends are wonderful and we have a certain role in each others lives but my H is the one I really turn to - he's my best friend.
 
#16 ·
For him he doesn't really say much and says things along the times of "Well that sucks, but that's life" or if it's bad "Well, I don't know what to tell you, babe." He just cuddles with me depending on how bad the news is. He has told me though that I can talk to him about anything but I KNOW that is not true!
 
#17 ·
heartsbeating, kind of the same here. I love my friends to death but after a certain amount of time I just have to get away with them and finish up a conversation or something on the phone or just take a break from them. So far with my H I don't mind being with him all the time. He's been away since Friday and won't be back till Monday and I feel stupid over how lonely I am. In the past I could have gone literally weeks, even months without physically seeing my best girlfriends and have been just fine.
 
#19 ·
He's been away since Friday and won't be back till Monday and I feel stupid over how lonely I am. In the past I could have gone literally weeks, even months without physically seeing my best girlfriends and have been just fine.
You have moved to a new town though? There's new surroundings and you don't have the "comforts" of people and certain familiarities. Completely normal to feel this way. Maybe you could set up video chat with one of your friends or send an email. Sometimes it's good to touch base and hear a friendly, familiar voice. Maybe you could bake some cookies and meet up with that older lady for a tea and a chat?
 
#18 ·
I can talk with my H about anything but that's not to say there aren't some things he's not interested in and doesn't pretend to be for my sake. For example he has no time for celebrity and I was working somewhere that had me meeting certain people. I'd excitedly get home to tell him "oh I met ____" today and while he'd be interested about ME, he couldn't fain enthusiasm for these stories. He'd just laugh and suggest I call my mom to share it with instead. And then her and I would be on the phone for hours. He's still my best friend though ;)
 
#20 ·
Yup, I'm in a new place. It's also the isolation and being away from everything that's familiar. I keep in touch via facebook and those losers don't believe in skype lol. I spoke with the lady for a few minutes when I got home, she's very nice. Told me there are lots of good people living in the area whom I'd like. I need to be more social. It doesn't help that I'm an introvert.
 
#21 ·
I'm in a bit of a different position (well, I don't have a husband for one!) but I wouldn't say my SO is my "best" friend.

Quite simply, I've only known him for a little more than 3 years but I have close friendships that exceed 25 years in duration. Many of those are work friendships where we naturally share a lot of the day-to-day ins and outs that he has no knowledge of. There's just way more history with my longterm friends -- and that factor alone makes the calibre of the relationships so much different. I just don't have the same intimacy? depth? (don't think either of those are the right words) with someone I've known for 17 - 22 years less.
 
#28 ·
My husband is the best friend I have ever had. Everyone else who's ever been close to me has betrayed me in some way or other. My husband is the only person, ever, to not betray me. So, yes. My husband is now, and always will be, my absolute best friend in the world.
 
#30 ·
We are the best of friends. No one is on the same frequency that we are. after 34 years that is an accomplishment that I am very proud of. I don't desire to "hang out with the boys" would rather be with her. However I do understand when she needs "me" time so I don't hold her back. More than anything else in life I want her happy and fulfilled in every way. She deserves it!
 
#37 ·
I'll answer for my wife who is not capable of doing so any longer. Married when we were 19 and 17, that was 51 years ago. She now has Alzheimer's and me being her primary caregiver can assure you all that this task is the ultimate test of friendship.
We have a great marriage. We explored every fantasy mentioned in these forums and then some. Many exciting moments/evenings, none were ever a threat to our relationship. Many strengthened it.
We both lost our parents shortly after we married and due to those events we adapted a philosophy that life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.
If your mate be it husband or wife wants to try something go for it, it's not going to be the end of the world if you truly love one another and if you don't trust and love your mate and want to indulge whatever makes him/her happy, what are you doing wasting time in this relationship?
This is your life and its ending one moment at a time
 
#48 ·
Love this....."we adapted a philosophy that life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away".

Enjoyed reading your post, Love the attitute, I agree wholeheartily. What you are facing with your wife right now has to be the hardest thing imaginable but those treausred memories carry you through these tough times, I am so sure.

Your post makes me think of this quote I have in one of my books ...

" We have this moment to hold in our hand...and to touch as it slips through our fingers like sand...Yesterday is gone and tomorrow my never come...but we have this moment today. "
 
#38 ·
My husband is my best friend. We are very close. We talk all the time call each other, and try to help each other, be supportive. We do have a significant age difference, but when we met and started just being social as friends, we found we had so much in common. We had a great connection. There have been challenges, he has been having some rather serious health issues, not age related-could happen to anyone!-that are difficult to face. These have lead to a sexual life that I am not fully satisfied with. But we continue to keep our friendship there. So we normally can deal with this. I cannot imagine living with someone who is not my friend!
 
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