Is your husband your best friend?
 Talk About Marriage
  The Marriage Advice and Relationship Help Forums
  right
Forums - For Therapists - Link to Us - Advertise  

    A Public Forum Provided by The Family & Marriage Counseling Directory
Register FAQ Community Search Today's Posts Mark Forums Read

Navigation »Talk About Marriage »Talk About Family, Marriage and Relationships »The Ladies' Lounge » Is your husband your best friend?

The Ladies' Lounge Sharing and support.

Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools Search this Thread
Old 09-14-2011, 11:34 AM   #1 (permalink)
Member
 
SepticChange's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Nor Cal
Posts: 517
Default Is your husband your best friend?

Well...is he? I still consider my two childhood friends as my best friends though I feel that now since I have moved and recently got married he will become my best friend. Don't get me wrong, we are close but when I hear of women saying that their man is their best friend it has me thinking. Is he mine or is he just my husband? What do you guys think?
SepticChange is offline   Reply With Quote
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
Old 09-14-2011, 11:47 AM   #2 (permalink)
Member
 
Cherry's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Tennessee
Posts: 2,165
Default Re: Is your husband your best friend?

I know my H is my best friend. He wasn't always though.
Cherry is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-14-2011, 11:51 AM   #3 (permalink)
Member
 
that_girl's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Wherever I lay my head.
Posts: 10,382
Default Re: Is your husband your best friend?

Hm...Somewhat. Right now it's strained...

I have 2 female friends that are very close to me. My husband is just as close to me. So maybe he is a best friend.
__________________

One day can change your life. One day can ruin your life. All life is is three or four big days that change everything.
that_girl is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-14-2011, 12:04 PM   #4 (permalink)
Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2010
Posts: 1,274
Default Re: Is your husband your best friend?

My husband is most definitely my very best friend. I feel that he is the only person in this world that I can tell ANYTHING and he would never repeat it and is always willing to listen and will be there for me no matter what. We have been married almost 25 years.
karole is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 09-14-2011, 12:07 PM   #5 (permalink)
Member
 
SimplyAmorous's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: USA
Posts: 9,946
Default Re: Is your husband your best friend?

When I met my then boyfriend/now husband at age 15, my relationship with my BEST BEST BEST girlfriend (we were like sisters, the one I never had, the one she lost at birth- her words ) ....was starting to take a turn.... she was slowly moving towards newer & more exciting friends (I think I was too moral and she was getting her wings to be more intimate with the guys, FUN, staying out all night, smoking, a little drinking etc) ....and I was really down about these things-that she was moving on. I was never the type to go along with any crowd, I didn't care for the crowd she was leaning too, so I stayed who I was but a little too uptight for them. I did hang with them for a time though. But it did hurt deeply -for me, as I felt we would forever be "BEST" friends, remain a constant in each othes lives, grow old together. Of coarse we never lost touch, she was still my chosen for Maid of Honor in my Wedding, a friend on FB today living states apart.

Once I met HIM, well, it suddenly became clear I had a NEW Best friend and he was alot more fun in alot more ways! HE eased that jealous girlfriend best friends loss I was feeling.

Never since meeting HIM has any female friend been able to superceed that term "BEST" in my life. He is my BEST friend, has been since the year we met. For our wedding invitations, I purposely looked for something to focus on the "friendship" aspect of our relationship, when I found this , the search was over:





It would be foreign for me to imagine how a friend outside of a marraige could be "closer". Not saying it is wrong, just that it is so much a PART of MY personal experience, I can not imagine it another way.

My husband has never had a friend as close as ME. I would consider my love for that dear Girlfriend before him very very entagled though, she was a "BEST" as he is a "BEST". And of coarse I have other very close friends, we talk about it ALL , but they will never be "Best" in my eyes , I don't think they are bothered by that.
SimplyAmorous is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-14-2011, 12:20 PM   #6 (permalink)
Member
 
Enchantment's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2011
Posts: 2,351
Default Re: Is your husband your best friend?

friend (frnd) n.
- A person whom one knows, likes, and trusts.
- A person with whom one is allied in a struggle or cause; a comrade.
- A person attached to another by feelings of affection or personal regard.
- A person who gives assistance; patron; supporter
- A person who is on good terms with another; a person who is not hostile


Yes, my husband is my friend.

But, he's much, much more than that and that puts him on a different plane that the other friends I have.

I have many female friends, but I don't have any male friends (just acquaintances and co-workers) other than him, so he holds a unique position.
__________________
Enter these enchanted woods, You who dare. ~ George Meredith
Enchantment is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-14-2011, 12:29 PM   #7 (permalink)
Member
 
SepticChange's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Nor Cal
Posts: 517
Default Re: Is your husband your best friend?

Quote:
Originally Posted by karole View Post
My husband is most definitely my very best friend. I feel that he is the only person in this world that I can tell ANYTHING and he would never repeat it and is always willing to listen and will be there for me no matter what. We have been married almost 25 years.
I hope to have that type of a relationship with my husband
SepticChange is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-14-2011, 12:31 PM   #8 (permalink)
Member
 
SepticChange's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Nor Cal
Posts: 517
Default Re: Is your husband your best friend?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Enchantment View Post
friend (frnd) n.
- A person whom one knows, likes, and trusts.
- A person with whom one is allied in a struggle or cause; a comrade.
- A person attached to another by feelings of affection or personal regard.
- A person who gives assistance; patron; supporter
- A person who is on good terms with another; a person who is not hostile


Yes, my husband is my friend.

But, he's much, much more than that and that puts him on a different plane that the other friends I have.

I have many female friends, but I don't have any male friends (just acquaintances and co-workers) other than him, so he holds a unique position.
Same here. I don't really have male friends so he is my best male friend...best one I've ever had. He is a friend to me in different ways and can comfort me in ways that my 2 best girlfriends never could. I guess that already means he is my best friend.
SepticChange is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-14-2011, 12:34 PM   #9 (permalink)
Member
 
SepticChange's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Nor Cal
Posts: 517
Default Re: Is your husband your best friend?

Quote:
Originally Posted by SimplyAmorous View Post
When I met my then boyfriend/now husband at age 15, my relationship with my BEST BEST BEST girlfriend (we were like sisters, the one I never had, the one she lost at birth- her words ) ....was starting to take a turn.... she was slowly moving towards newer & more exciting friends (I think I was too moral and she was getting her wings to be more intimate with the guys, FUN, staying out all night, smoking, a little drinking etc) ....and I was really down about these things-that she was moving on. I was never the type to go along with any crowd, I didn't care for the crowd she was leaning too, so I stayed who I was but a little too uptight for them. I did hang with them for a time though. But it did hurt deeply -for me, as I felt we would forever be "BEST" friends, remain a constant in each othes lives, grow old together. Of coarse we never lost touch, she was still my chosen for Maid of Honor in my Wedding, a friend on FB today living states apart.

Once I met HIM, well, it suddenly became clear I had a NEW Best friend and he was alot more fun in alot more ways! HE eased that jealous girlfriend best friends loss I was feeling.

Never since meeting HIM has any female friend been able to superceed that term "BEST" in my life. He is my BEST friend, has been since the year we met. For our wedding invitations, I purposely looked for something to focus on the "friendship" aspect of our relationship, when I found this , the search was over:





It would be foreign for me to imagine how a friend outside of a marraige could be "closer". Not saying it is wrong, just that it is so much a PART of MY personal experience, I can not imagine it another way.

My husband has never had a friend as close as ME. I would consider my love for that dear Girlfriend before him very very entagled though, she was a "BEST" as he is a "BEST". And of coarse I have other very close friends, we talk about it ALL , but they will never be "Best" in my eyes , I don't think they are bothered by that.
Do you think it helped that you guys met when you were in your teens that he instantly became your closest friend while your female besties were out being typical teenagers?

I met husband as an adult...after going through childhood and the teenage years and even a little bit of my adult years with my female besties. They were there for me through the toughest parts of my life while he's like, a new addition, you know? I do feel that as time passes and we go through many more things together and I drift apart from my childhood friends that he will be bumped up to being the best friend I've ever had.
SepticChange is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-14-2011, 01:22 PM   #10 (permalink)
Member
 
Inloveforeverwithhubby's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2011
Posts: 170
Default Re: Is your husband your best friend?

Quote:
Originally Posted by SimplyAmorous View Post
When I met my then boyfriend/now husband at age 15, my relationship with my BEST BEST BEST girlfriend (we were like sisters, the one I never had, the one she lost at birth- her words ) ....was starting to take a turn.... she was slowly moving towards newer & more exciting friends (I think I was too moral and she was getting her wings to be more intimate with the guys, FUN, staying out all night, smoking, a little drinking etc) ....and I was really down about these things-that she was moving on. I was never the type to go along with any crowd, I didn't care for the crowd she was leaning too, so I stayed who I was but a little too uptight for them. I did hang with them for a time though. But it did hurt deeply -for me, as I felt we would forever be "BEST" friends, remain a constant in each othes lives, grow old together. Of coarse we never lost touch, she was still my chosen for Maid of Honor in my Wedding, a friend on FB today living states apart.

Once I met HIM, well, it suddenly became clear I had a NEW Best friend and he was alot more fun in alot more ways! HE eased that jealous girlfriend best friends loss I was feeling.

Never since meeting HIM has any female friend been able to superceed that term "BEST" in my life. He is my BEST friend, has been since the year we met. For our wedding invitations, I purposely looked for something to focus on the "friendship" aspect of our relationship, when I found this , the search was over:





It would be foreign for me to imagine how a friend outside of a marraige could be "closer". Not saying it is wrong, just that it is so much a PART of MY personal experience, I can not imagine it another way.

My husband has never had a friend as close as ME. I would consider my love for that dear Girlfriend before him very very entagled though, she was a "BEST" as he is a "BEST". And of coarse I have other very close friends, we talk about it ALL , but they will never be "Best" in my eyes , I don't think they are bothered by that.
Thats the same wording I found online and incorporated into our invitations. Beautiful wording.

My husband is my best friend too.

I do have a best friend who we grew up as kids together though.

But I am much closer to him.
Inloveforeverwithhubby is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-14-2011, 02:05 PM   #11 (permalink)
Member
 
SimplyAmorous's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: USA
Posts: 9,946
Default Re: Is your husband your best friend?

Quote:
Originally Posted by SepticChange View Post
Do you think it helped that you guys met when you were in your teens that he instantly became your closest friend while your female besties were out being typical teenagers?

I met husband as an adult...after going through childhood and the teenage years and even a little bit of my adult years with my female besties. They were there for me through the toughest parts of my life while he's like, a new addition, you know? I do feel that as time passes and we go through many more things together and I drift apart from my childhood friends that he will be bumped up to being the best friend I've ever had.
I am sure what you say here did play a huge role for me. Meeting him so young. Whomever I was with.....that young girlfriend during that time, her Mom, her siblings were there for ME when My mom Left me - and I had to deal with a nasty step MOM (some of my tough times). That family was MY comfort for a good 5 years of my life -till I moved on with my boyfriend, he became more of my comfort. All makes sense right !

I was really bent out of shape over loosing that much closeness with that particular friend, but I came to realize certain people are sometimes only in our lives FOR A SEASON, and this is OK. We needed to move on. We had very different lives, she went on to College, I never did. etc.

My question would be this: When something really GOOD happens to you, or devestating, WHO do you think to call first, or if something , just a little exciting happens, just something to put a smile on your face & you want to share it -- who will you pick up the phone and call ? If your answer is always the husband, then he is your Best. If it is more your
girlfriends or your Mom or whatever , then he is on par with them or a little lower. Maybe he is not as good of a listener -even, not as receptive as your girfriends would be, not as agreeable. ?? ANy of that going on.

Then many have thier guy friends who they need to hang with a few times a week in the garage, shooting the male breeze talk & want that time alone (my dad was like this with his buddies- but still held my step Mom as a closer friend ).

If a man is not that easy to talk too or seems to want more distance than the wife, I can see if she has what feels like "closer emotional bonds/connections". BUt still our spouse should be on par with these connections or above.

Wouldn't we all desire that ?
SimplyAmorous is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-14-2011, 02:15 PM   #12 (permalink)
Member
 
SepticChange's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Nor Cal
Posts: 517
Default Re: Is your husband your best friend?

Quote:
Originally Posted by SimplyAmorous View Post
I am sure what you say here did play a huge role for me. Meeting him so young. Whomever I was with.....that young girlfriend during that time, her Mom, her siblings were there for ME when My mom Left me - and I had to deal with a nasty step MOM (some of my tough times). That family was MY comfort for a good 5 years of my life -till I moved on with my boyfriend, he became more of my comfort. All makes sense right !

I was really bent out of shape over loosing that much closeness with that particular friend, but I came to realize certain people are sometimes only in our lives FOR A SEASON, and this is OK. We needed to move on. We had very different lives, she went on to College, I never did. etc.

My question would be this: When something really GOOD happens to you, or devestating, WHO do you think to call first, or if something , just a little exciting happens, just something to put a smile on your face & you want to share it -- who will you pick up the phone and call ? If your answer is always the husband, then he is your Best. If it is more your
girlfriends or your Mom or whatever , then he is on par with them or a little lower. Maybe he is not as good of a listener -even, not as receptive as your girfriends would be, not as agreeable. ?? ANy of that going on.

Then many have thier guy friends who they need to hang with a few times a week in the garage, shooting the male breeze talk & want that time alone (my dad was like this with his buddies- but still held my step Mom as a closer friend ).

If a man is not that easy to talk too or seems to want more distance than the wife, I can see if she has what feels like "closer emotional bonds/connections". BUt still our spouse should be on par with these connections or above.

Wouldn't we all desire that ?

Good question. Over the last 2 months when I heard very good news or very bad news the first person I told was my husband. Even when he wasn't there. The day my mother got her citizenship, I was hanging out with his mother while he was on the farm with his dad and brothers and I immediately called him, knowing that he would more than likely not answer just so I could tell him the exciting news. I kept calling him until he answered before I told anyone else. . I told him first before telling my 2 best friends even though they see my mother as a 2nd mother to them.

He isn't as receptive as my friends though and not always the best listener. I feel myself drifting apart from the girls, mainly because I moved to a neighboring state but I no longer have my fingers ready to text them at every little thing that happens like I used to. I still consider them my best friends. But are they still? Hmm.
SepticChange is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-14-2011, 06:40 PM   #13 (permalink)
Member
 
SimplyAmorous's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: USA
Posts: 9,946
Default Re: Is your husband your best friend?

Quote:
Originally Posted by SepticChange View Post
He isn't as receptive as my friends though and not always the best listener
Bummer to have to admit this -but now it makes more sense, I mean we all want to talk to those who light up when we speak and feel our every word is being heard, received ya know. We gravitate towards such people and if they give us good feedback, even more so.

Some men are really quiet, into themselves, need their CAVE more often. BUt we still love them. They are good providers, and have many wonderful traits. But give us our girlfriends when he is in that CAVE or not available --right ! My husband admittably never needs a CAVE, I guess he is not the norm from "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus".

I have 2 girlfriends right now , seen one just today, she would go stark raving MAD without her friends cause her husband is "just not there" for her. I have been to her house and witnessed her speaking to him and he would NOT even look up at her, not even acknowledge she is speaking. I found it SO rude. Personally, I would divorce that with no grass growing under my feet !

Just saying, that is an extreme example, I can tell you -her husband is NOT her best friend , I think her friends is what keeps her going in life, and her kids. And her Faith.

Sounds like a shift is slowing taking place in your life -from your girlfriends TO your husband.... not a bad thing.

Need to figure out what HE enjoys talking about, might get him more engaged , maybe you can find more common interests -this might spur some better listening skills on his behalf too. Just a thought.
SimplyAmorous is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-14-2011, 06:43 PM   #14 (permalink)
Member
 
that_girl's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Wherever I lay my head.
Posts: 10,382
Default Re: Is your husband your best friend?

I know that when something awesome/horrible happens in my day, he is the first person I want to tell.

He is starting to tell me again about his craptastic/awesome days. There was a time when we didn't talk at all. I love his random texts about his day. Makes me smile
__________________

One day can change your life. One day can ruin your life. All life is is three or four big days that change everything.
that_girl is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-14-2011, 06:51 PM   #15 (permalink)
Member
 
heartsbeating's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Batcave
Posts: 4,948
Default Re: Is your husband your best friend?

I love my close friends but there's few people I actually want to be around consistently. I seem to have an internal clock-off time, where I need to be in my own space again. While I like to sometimes have time to listen to music alone, my H truly is the one person that I love being with all the time. He's my favorite person to be around.

He calls me on my bullsh*t when needed, he's soft and hugs me close when I need that, he knows me better than anyone, he sees me as I am, he's privy to all aspects of my personality, he listens and advices, he's trustworthy and honest. He's everything I could ever want in a best friend.

As for girl friends, when we were going through our issues I confided in a close female friend. I never spoke a bad word about him, it was more situational. She didn't give her opinion, she just let me vent. My friends are wonderful and we have a certain role in each others lives but my H is the one I really turn to - he's my best friend.
__________________
Good girls tone, bad girls lift.
heartsbeating is offline   Reply With Quote
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
Reply

Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off


Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
is your husband your best friend... honeysuckle rose The Ladies' Lounge 27 08-19-2012 07:21 PM
Husband's gay friend LBurnsbright General Relationship Discussion 25 04-18-2012 07:07 PM
husband not my best friend memnum80 General Relationship Discussion 9 01-12-2010 09:34 AM
Husband wants to be a friend only Nancy Considering Divorce or Separation 22 06-09-2008 03:24 AM

Member Area

Find a Therapist:


Sponsor Ads


Sponsor Ads




Get The Family & Marriage Counseling Directory Help Guide via Email:
Name:
Email:




All times are GMT -5. The time now is 04:39 PM.



Copyright 2007 - 2013 © Talk About Marriage