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post #46 of 107 (permalink) Old 03-14-2016, 03:45 PM
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Re: Are there that many Jack A$$ men

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Originally Posted by always_alone View Post
At least he had the class to admit that his behaviour was inapprooriate, and that he would adjust it accordingly. He didn't feel the need to blame the women for what they were wearing or how attractive they were.
Oh no. He wasn't ever admitting this except that multiple women came forward. By that time, he had no choice to admit. Class had nothing to do with this.

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post #47 of 107 (permalink) Old 03-14-2016, 03:51 PM
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Re: Are there that many Jack A$$ men

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Yep, there it is: boys will be boys and it is women's responsibility to manage their sexuality because they won't do it themselves.

Sad that this is such a prevailing attitude.
It's not sad, it's predictable and, therefore, preventable. "Managing" is having the brains to dress appropriately for a business environment.

Not managing, is rubbing yourself down with raw meat before stepping into the tiger's cage. The fool would be lucky to come away with only a lick or two.
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post #48 of 107 (permalink) Old 03-14-2016, 03:58 PM
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Re: Are there that many Jack A$$ men

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Originally Posted by think positive View Post

My questions are;

1-Are there men that are that clueless that they can't diffentiate between "hey you are nice" and "I want to fu$% you.
YES
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post #49 of 107 (permalink) Old 03-14-2016, 04:00 PM
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Re: Are there that many Jack A$$ men

And the "touching" and revealing clothing doesn't help.

She shouldn't have to alter her dress, but she should stop with the touching.
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post #50 of 107 (permalink) Old 03-14-2016, 04:08 PM
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Re: Are there that many Jack A$$ men

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And the "touching" and revealing clothing doesn't help.

She shouldn't have to alter her dress, but she should stop with the touching.
Yes, I agree that according to the law, a woman can dress like a ho (not saying the OP's wife did) and run a business meeting.

Is she foolish to do so? I will refer back to the poster's comment that men tend not to dress like Fabio in their meetings.

PS - high powered men tend to make their statements with expensive suits and shoes. For women in this environment, they should do the same. I own some pretty nice shoes and handbags for this purpose.
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post #51 of 107 (permalink) Old 03-14-2016, 04:10 PM
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Re: Are there that many Jack A$$ men

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does she also touch the fat guy in IT who smells a little funky?
Great point!
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post #52 of 107 (permalink) Old 03-14-2016, 04:16 PM
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Re: Are there that many Jack A$$ men

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Originally Posted by tech-novelist View Post
This is due to the differing biological cost to each sex of making an error of the opposite type; that is, for a man to assume that a woman is not interested in sex is to miss a chance at a relatively free reproductive opportunity, whereas for a woman to assume that a man is willing to support the result of such an encounter is very hazardous.
The interesting thing is that this has largely changed. The woman can control whether or not she has a child but the man can not control whether or not he pays 18 years of child support.

But our lizard brains haven't caught up with the times. Don't know if they ever will.
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post #53 of 107 (permalink) Old 03-14-2016, 04:20 PM
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Re: Are there that many Jack A$$ men

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Originally Posted by always_alone View Post
Yep, there it is: boys will be boys and it is women's responsibility to manage their sexuality because they won't do it themselves.

Sad that this is such a prevailing attitude.
You seem to have missed this part of his comment:

"No, a woman's dress does not make it OK to sexually harass her"
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post #54 of 107 (permalink) Old 03-14-2016, 05:29 PM
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Re: Are there that many Jack A$$ men

OP, your wife's appearance does not always trigger these aggressive pursuits, hell the most aggressive pursuit EVER towards me was over something I had written eloquently and before he ever laid eyes on me, rattled me to the core, so there are many things about a woman that can trigger a man's lust for her, but she can pay mind to her appearance, behavior and attitudes in settings where the risk is higher. And, yes, she could be totally playing you and them. So, heads up.

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post #55 of 107 (permalink) Old 03-14-2016, 06:18 PM
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Re: Are there that many Jack A$$ men

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Originally Posted by always_alone View Post
Not at all. By all means, complain to HR, tell whoever it is to fvck off.

I just object to the insistence that the men deserve a free pass (because of course she is *too* friendly, *too* attractive, her dress is clearly *too* provacative, and therefore it is *her* fault that this is happening to her.)

Tell me, are you going to chastise Conan for being too sexy? Apparently he gets hit on way more than OP's wife ever does. Why isn't it *his* fault for being too friendly, too provocative?
It's just a mountain of sexy tragedy

It would seem clear that the only fault lies with the a$$hats that have no concept of context and no ability to monitor their own behavior. If people would simply be polite and kind to each other...so much of this BS would just stop.

Too Bad.


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post #56 of 107 (permalink) Old 03-14-2016, 06:23 PM
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Re: Are there that many Jack A$$ men

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Good evening
An interesting point, I hadn't though of it that way. Its a little tricky to figure out how to clearly define it, but intentionally seductive dress cold be viewed as harassment.

It needs to be a pretty high bar, and a rule like that could easily be implemented in a biased fashion. I don't want to see people who happen to be physically attractive, be held to a different standard. I don't want puritan dress codes either, but really extreme stuff should not be allowed.

I like the concept, but I fear it might often be applied in a biased fashion
Solution....EVERYONE must work nude....no matter the possibly painful, pinchy, dangley misshaps.

Do you think that this would merely be an move to further eliminate a persons responsibility to control themselves?

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post #57 of 107 (permalink) Old 03-14-2016, 06:31 PM
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Re: Are there that many Jack A$$ men

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Solution....EVERYONE must work nude....no matter the possibly painful, pinchy, dangley misshaps.

Do you think that this would merely be an move to further eliminate a persons responsibility to control themselves?
A personal Experience: A large Prison Construction Project -we were installing and grouting the metal cell walls...going up 3 tiers...all scaffold and ladders.

The panel manufacturer sent their "Field Inspector" to review the installation and deal with some fab issues. She looked to be about 25-30 years old..super Hot and flirty as hell. She showed up on site (in winter..a massive hell of mud and debris...very cold...no heat...etc) wearing one of the smallest mini-skirts I have ever seen...6" heels...and a top that was see through.

Did she get looks? Yes...was it cat calling? Nope...we set up a quick pool to bet on how long she would last?...would she go up the scaffold? How many steps till she tripped...etc. Context is everything...in an office she might have looked ok...but onsite..she looked like a pretty girl with no brain and a death wish.

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Raked by machine gun fire.
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post #58 of 107 (permalink) Old 03-14-2016, 07:19 PM
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Re: Are there that many Jack A$$ men

Good evening
When I look around my worksite and imagine everyone nude, I understand the importance of clothing.

(though there are some notable exceptions

Quote:
Originally Posted by MarriedDude View Post
Solution....EVERYONE must work nude....no matter the possibly painful, pinchy, dangley misshaps.

Do you think that this would merely be an move to further eliminate a persons responsibility to control themselves?
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post #59 of 107 (permalink) Old 03-14-2016, 07:24 PM
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Re: Are there that many Jack A$$ men

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Originally Posted by always_alone View Post
Well, Conan, you should stop dressing like such a slvt at work and inviting women to come on to you all the time. I mean, if that many women are coming after you, you *must* be sending out some kind of vibe asking for it. It *must* be the way you are flashing your dimples or flexing your muscles. Why are you acting so unprofessionally that you are getting that much attention? You are too friendly, too approachable. Maybe you should get a baggier suit. Stop styling your hair.

After all, you *must* not have any boundaries or be asking for it or....something.

See what I mean?
I absolutely do and I don't blame OP's wife for getting hit on with the current information.

She maybe needs to learn how to shut these morons down and maybe her husband can help and support her through this.

I do feel sympathy for women being told they have to frown and look mean or ugly to ward off retards.

I really get it.

I have not considered trying to make myself less attractive to ward off dippy women who have bad boundaries.

No one has even suggested it to me.

You are correct and while I have not ever suggested a woman was at fault for attracting morons because of her personality and looks, I never "noticed" just how much of society does.

I have always focused on behavior as an indicator.

Too bad everyone doesn't.

I fully get your frustration here. Thanks for the eye opener!
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post #60 of 107 (permalink) Old 03-14-2016, 08:35 PM
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Re: Are there that many Jack A$$ men

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