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post #46 of 74 (permalink) Old 03-28-2016, 11:39 AM
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Re: Aging - fun or no?





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post #47 of 74 (permalink) Old 03-28-2016, 01:04 PM
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Re: Aging - fun or no?

I just turned double nickels and frankly this B-day has hit me a little hard. I know it's just a number but damn - it's getting up there and I think everyone considers kind of old. I've always been physically fit and eaten decent but my age and work/play/run to max ability personality has started taking it's toll on me physically. I've always been a "go" person - sitting more than a movie time length I just can't do. I get antsy and feel like I should be doing something. I get sore from working/playing a lot sooner now and some old sports injuries are starting to rear their ugly head and ache on occasion. I did about 5 hours of digging and planting recently and was sore for 2 days. Once upon a time not that long ago I could dig and plant all day long and hardly feel a thing. My sexual abilities and prowess has taken a hit also - no again an hour later anymore and every day isn't really doable - few in a row I can but 4/5 not happening - that part of me needs more rest and recovery time also. Arg !! A bit of an ego hit. So obviously I'm not real thrilled about the physical decline.

But there are multiple good things also. More confidence and also satisfaction with myself. I've done decent. People like me. I don't feel like I have anything I need to prove anymore. My kids rock - they are extremely healthy, happy, and unlike I have been and provided at times, close to lifelong financial security - and at young ages. I'll likely never be but frankly don't care anymore and it isn't important to me anymore. I've got what I really need and likely wont ever starve. A few years ago women suddenly started hitting on me instead of me having to make all the effort. Wasn't that way before.... and I admit its cool and I like it ! It's nice being on "the other side" some. I've done a lot of things - and many that most people haven't. If I die tomorrow it will be OK - I've had a good and full life. But there are still many things I am planning to and want to do and am lucky in that my family genes are good so I've probably got another 20-25 able years left.

Anybody going to the Indy 500 ? It's the 100th running ! One of those one shot things -- no second chance. Races like this are events - not just a race. I think its going to be great and a hell of a party !
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post #48 of 74 (permalink) Old 03-29-2016, 07:41 PM
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Re: Aging - fun or no?

I will be 50 by the end of this year.. I think it sucks! Not because I feel lousy. .I still have lots of energy.. I feel good .. still lovin' getting it on.. don't want it to end.. stay away menopause!...

But this is how I look at my life... it's a bit pessimistic.. but at the same time...it is what it is...

I feel MY best years / OUR BEST YEARS are behind us.. I think 2014 was the greatest year of our lives, family... we took a # of vacations.. a few romantic ones.. I felt on top of the world... loved the ages of all the kids.. I felt we were just rockin' LIFE.. ya know.. the 40's have been great.. like a mid life Honeymoon of sorts..

So here we are.. we climbed to the top of the mountain.. we had some struggles along the way... but we kept believing/ hoping, carrying on...hand in hand.. and here we are .. WE MADE IT !! ..we can look back & see some purpose it in all -how it all came together.. so we're standing up here.... the wind is blowing in our hair.. it's a beautiful sight.. ....we'd like to stop the hands of time.. and just camp out here.. but we can't...

So now it's time to go down the other side... we've had our day in the Sun... now it's more about our children.. seeing that they do well.. will have 2 in college this year...time to get a job.. not as many vacations .... need to do what we can to help & support them, getting them on their feet...we want to see them do well, take their wings and achieve THEIR dreams, whatever they may be.... this, too, will bring us happiness..
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post #49 of 74 (permalink) Old 03-30-2016, 01:05 AM
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Re: Aging - fun or no?

I don't like this getting older business at all. I find that I spend so much on skincare products because I don't want a wrinkled face.... when I turned 30 I actually cried....Haven't experienced the 'change of life' yet but I have heard that it is quite a struggle for some. Not looking forward to this either. Having said all this it would be nice to find someone to grow old with. Only God know if I'll remarry but I'm not in a rush and that's cool for me.

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post #50 of 74 (permalink) Old 03-30-2016, 01:49 AM
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Re: Aging - fun or no?

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So I am 51 and pretty much enjoy getting older. My kids are all grown, I have one grandchild so far, I'm ok financially, my marriage is stable, I know what I like and make sure I get to do it. I've gotten rid of quite a few people from my life that I didn't enjoy. I always have something to look forward to. Menopause hasn't been anywhere near as bad as people made it out to be

So, what do you like about getting older? Or do you totally hate it?
Not hating it at all! I may grow old but I'll be damned if I grow up!!! Then again, STBX gets annoyed at that... Oh well, she opted out. Her loss.

"Accept the things to which fate binds you, and love the people with whom fate brings you together, but do so with all your heart." -Marcus Aurelius
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Every moment of pleasure in life has to be purchased by an equal moment of pain.
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post #51 of 74 (permalink) Old 04-03-2016, 11:21 AM
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Re: Aging - fun or no?

I have really enjoyed the wisdom that has come with growing older, and while *ideally* I'd have my current brain in my 26-year-old body (haha), I'm happy with aging. I am taking care to be active even when I might not feel like it, bc I want to be able to travel and hike as long as I live, if possible! Other than that, nothing seems so different--I'm still the same person I was 20, 30, even 40 years ago--just wiser and without the self-doubt! I love to have fun, I choose to be happy, and everyday I learn more, which opens up new questions about what I don't know/understand! Such an adventure.
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post #52 of 74 (permalink) Old 04-03-2016, 12:39 PM
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Re: Aging - fun or no?

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So that is my take on old age. It sucks. I miss my younger days and sex life. It is no fun watching your body decompose slowly every year. Yet, I somehow manage to block all these depressing thoughts most of the time. You have to. You have to live for today and forget that you may die tomorrow like some that you know.
Thank you, Vinnydee for the realistic view of aging. I am 58 and teaching at a University. I just passed my 25 years of service for the institution. My students and my husband are quick to point out that I don't look my age when we discuss aging in my subject area. I could pass as in my late 30s or early 40s. Flattery besides, I know that my physical body is slowing down. I ache here and there. I now celebrate all holidays when I didn't used to. I'm one of those who are trying to catch up.
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post #53 of 74 (permalink) Old 04-03-2016, 09:52 PM
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Re: Aging - fun or no?

Like it is the sense that I have become more strong withing myself and no longer feel like I have to please everyone. I have reached a point of enjoying time to myself, no longer get involved in the BS and gossip with family. have weeded some people out of my life which has been positive. At the same time I see my body aging right before my eyes and I do not care for what I see.
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post #54 of 74 (permalink) Old 04-10-2016, 10:30 PM
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Re: Aging - fun or no?

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I turn 65 this year. I did not view myself as old when I moved here at the age of 58. However, slowly but surely I somehow aged. Pains from old football injuries and degenerative disk disease were taking their toll. I gained weight because I could not exercise much due to my medical problems. Walking is great for cardio but I would have to walk 10 miles to burn off enough calories to cover an ice cream cone. The worse problem for me is my memory. I often cannot think of words or the names of things. Even posting has become a problem as I forget to type some words or have to wait to remember the word I wanted to use. Last week I put a container of milk into the pantry where it went sour. I make my living with my brain. I do not have to put in much physical exertion, just think, solve problems and troubleshoot network glitches. I was the golden boy in my company. The guy who once was one of the top two in his field worldwide. The guy who was chosen as an Alternate US advisor and who had a drink or two with important politicians and businessmen. Now I forget things and have to put everything down on my calendars. Yes, more than one calendar. I make stupid mistakes and that bothers me a lot.

Last but not lease is that you acutely become aware of your mortality. Your friends are dying as are people younger than you. Go out to dinner with a friend one night and he dies of a heart attack the next day. I see more doctors in a year than I used to see in 5 years. I have a cabinet filled with pills. I am suffering from depression from not dealing well with aging. All the stuff I chose not to think about when I was younger is now upon me and real. My life expectancy is about 13 more years when years pass more quickly each time. My wife has had a hip replacement and two cataracts removed. The thought of her dying before me is unbearable to think about. She is my life and lately, my memory.

I go on Medicare this year and have been getting letters from insurance companies an even funeral parlors. Everyone seems to know I am turning 65. I am on so many mailed and email list that at times it seems that they are trying to get my money before I am too dead to spend it. I am coming to grips with old age. I now live in the largest retirement community in the world. There are over 100,000 retired people here. It has its plus and minuses. The plus is a great medical system geared strictly to the elderly. No more dealing with doctors who ignore you complaints and treat you like a child. There is a great support system as we tend to look out for each other. I feel more comfortable around people my own age and in fact, what I used to complain about is nothing compared to what others have gone through; multiple bouts of cancer, strokes, heart attacks and lose of loved ones. In some ways I feel lucky that I only have the problems I have but in the back of my mind lurks the thought that I can have a heart attack at any time. Across the street from me is a locked box containing those electric paddles that restart your heart. One call to 911 will alert one of my neighbors who has been trained and bring him to my side.

All the service people are used to dealing with us old folk who use coupons all the time to save some of their fixed income that was eaten away by medical bills. They do watch their money around here. Of course dinner time is before 5 because it is happy hour and the food is cheaper. Happy hour seems to be someone at any hour of the day. There are lots of problems with the elderly drinking and getting drunk in order to handle their problems, grief or looming death. DUI's are very common. Some formed a wife swapping club to do all the things they did not do when they were younger but had on their sexual bucket list. Most retired people here have kids and they were not able to go places that they always wanted to go. So they go on cruises, Disney World and many other places that my wife and I visited or done many times because we have no kids and a lot of extra disposable income.

On the Con side are dead quiet nights at 9 PM. Many go to bed as early as 7PM and wake up at 4am. The only thing you hear all day are the sirens of the roving EMS trucks. Yes, we have EMS trucks that are alway on the road so that there will always be one close to you. They are the reason why residents here die less frequently from heart attacks. However I sometimes view them as vultures waiting to pounce at the first sign of weakness. I know that they help but they also collect a few hundred dollars from Medicare and an additional $250 from the patient. The medical industry is very big business. Most are on Medicare so they know what they can get away with since Medicare pays first and rarely asks questions. My doctor prod me to take tests for things I have no symptoms of by calling it preventive medicine and yet those tests are the ones that their medical center makes money from. As the say, there is nothing better than a willing patient with a good insurance plan.

My skin scars from just a scratch. I cannot feel my finger tips most days or my toes. I am lucky if I can get 5-6 hours of sleep each night and I no longer try to get to bed early and just wait until I am too tired to stay awake any longer. There is also finances to consider. Will I outlive my money since my family all lived until their mid 90's despite smoking and eating poorly. On my Mother's side, they all developed Dementia at my current age and there is a fine line between memory problems from old age and dementia. My doctor told me that old age memory problems are when you cannot remember where you parked your car. Dementia is when you forget that you even own a car. I can retire fairly comfortable in two more years. All my debts have been paid and I have a small mortgage but still, unforeseen problems, that I do see happen to others, can wipe our your savings real fast. The stock market goes up and down pretty regularly now. No more are the days when your money would double every 8 years. I set aside enough for retirement that was supposed to give a million dollars at age 66. Lies, all lies.

I live among active adults. Those are old people who do all the things they did when they were young. The cheerleaders still give me chills when I see them. Women in their 60's and 70' wearing short cheerleader skirts. I will not even mention the belly dancing club. We have over 2000 organized events with about half of them active each day. It seems to people are making up for lost time and trying to beat death. In the morning you will find many people walking as soon as the sun rises. They play all sorts of sports. We even have a polo club with horses and real matches. Just a lot of old people trying to wring one more day out of life and despite their best efforts, death does not care what shape they are in.

So that is my take on old age. It sucks. I miss my younger days and sex life. It is no fun watching your body decompose slowly every year. Yet, I somehow manage to block all these depressing thoughts most of the time. You have to. You have to live for today and forget that you may die tomorrow like some that you know.
Vinny: You've got to get out of that depression. If what you listed is all that is wrong with you, you can go on for years yet.

I was able to put off retirement until I was 79. My kids are established, complete with children. And being retired took a bit of getting used to. No more having to be somewhere at some hour.

And yes, I forget words too. And I've got arthritis everywhere. And I too have a bucket filled with pill bottles. My hobby is visiting doctors.

And sure I could die tomorrow. I know it is coming, I just don't want to be around when it happens.

But then, being ill or dying or whatever have always been with us. We just pay more attention to them now.

I don't mean to sound so critical, but as one of the oldest goats on TAM I do tend to be grandfatherly toward young wippersnappers like you... After all, I am almost old enough to be your father.
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post #55 of 74 (permalink) Old 04-10-2016, 10:51 PM
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Re: Aging - fun or no?

I might as well come clean. I'll be 83 in three weeks.

Yes, I'm running down. But life has been a blast. I don't have the stamina or endurance I used to have, but my head still works. My kids are independent with lives and families of their own. I've been fortunate to work in a field that I love for my entire working life.

Sex has slowed down. But I've found that fingers and tongues can substitute for things that don't work as well as they used to.

I've enjoyed being a curmudgeon on TAM. People talk about the "good old days" back in 1970 and I grin because I had a wife and two kids by then. And I know that in spite of what seems to be an epidemic of infidelity and marital problems, things really are better than they were in mid 20th century America. And we certainly are living longer.

So for all of you 40 and 50 year olds, I assure you that life is not coming to an end. If you do not now have it, you can find love. Sex isn't over (I really think it is more enjoyable when older). And while you may not be able to do everything you did when you were 21 (nor should you want to!), you can do lots of stuff you couldn't do then.

Good luck to all. Live well and be happy!

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post #56 of 74 (permalink) Old 04-10-2016, 11:39 PM
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Re: Aging - fun or no?

Whew......I had to wait until post #56 to be bowled over by an older fogey. Thanks @sidney2718 !

I will be 70 in late December of this year. I look about 55 because I never stopped working out and running. A Triathlon enthusiast..run, bike, swim....57 years of sweat.

I attribute 70% of my success to genetics, the other 30% to The Grace of God.

Having said this, I have repeatedly broken my body with foolish pastimes and fearless recklessness in my youth.

I ran a little over 10 miles the other day. Oh, I have recently been diagnosed with prostrate cancer! It is curable.

You cannot outrun death, but I will die trying!

This....This is the nub of the stick that pokes me in the eye when the light of day energizes my optic nerve....SunCMars.... The Allegory of the Cave--> On this, I did a '180' and stepped out.

The Lion in Winter. Invictus..By Will, Shall
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post #57 of 74 (permalink) Old 04-11-2016, 02:36 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Aging - fun or no?

Wow. You guys are blowing me away here. Thank you SO much for posting!!
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post #58 of 74 (permalink) Old 04-11-2016, 06:07 PM
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Re: Aging - fun or no?

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Whew......I had to wait until post #56 to be bowled over by an older fogey. Thanks @sidney2718 !

I will be 70 in late December of this year. I look about 55 because I never stopped working out and running. A Triathlon enthusiast..run, bike, swim....57 years of sweat.

I attribute 70% of my success to genetics, the other 30% to The Grace of God.

Having said this, I have repeatedly broken my body with foolish pastimes and fearless recklessness in my youth.

I ran a little over 10 miles the other day. Oh, I have recently been diagnosed with prostrate cancer! It is curable.

You cannot outrun death, but I will die trying!
You've got the right attitude! Was it Groucho who said "If I'd have known that I was going to live this long, I'd have taken better care of myself."?
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post #59 of 74 (permalink) Old 04-11-2016, 06:09 PM
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Re: Aging - fun or no?

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Wow. You guys are blowing me away here. Thank you SO much for posting!!
It is true. There is a lot of life left. Some of it is bittersweet, such as when I recognized that I was the oldest f*rt left in my family.
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post #60 of 74 (permalink) Old 04-11-2016, 06:10 PM
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Re: Aging - fun or no?

Let me bring up another aspect of this. How old do folks FEEL they are. Until recently I felt as if I was still in my early 30's. My wife says the same thing. These days I feel as if I'm 60 in that I should behave with a certain amount of dignity as befits a young man.
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