I wish that people would read my posts before they respond. I have already been attacked as though I said that all SAHM's are apathetic, when I have clearly written quite the opposite. My thread starter states that I wish society respected SAHM's (or dads) that actually contribute to a marriage, by other means than bringing in some household income.
I also used gender non specific terms and specified that any spouse who is not working, should contribute with housework.
Housework is boring, but do you think the main breadwinner goes to work because it is fun
Of course not, but he or she works because they have a family to support. Life is full of tasks that we may not like and as adults, we have to accept that.
I think you don't quite have a grasp on the perspective hence my long post in response. I did read your initial post I think it is really presumptuous and broad in its topic to really hold any validity.
You basically said, I admire SAHM's and housewives/husbands who do what I think they should but think those that don't do what I think they should really suck so can someone explain this to me?
I'm saying, there are many reasons why a SAHM might appear apathetic but if we want to change this, since being a SAHM is very stressful, unappreciated and thankless, we need to work on providing support to SAHM's and their spouses need to have a better perspective on what the job entails. I sited slight depression as a reason for their apathetic behavior because, in my experience, SAHM's tend to lose themselves to the job because it is 24/7 and they really need to be able to still have interests/hobbies/time of their own.
Also, I highly doubt that any SAHM's do nothing as you suggested. In the least, they are providing costly daycare services for their children so that the husband can work.
Since this is such an important role in their family I really think (and I don't care if it's the wife or husband staying home) that they deserve support to do this job well. I don't see criticism/lack of understanding as supportive.
When you're talking about a wife who stays home and the husband works and they don't have kids...I can't imagine that being something that would happen. It's a lack of perspective on my part. Why wouldn't the woman or man staying home want more for themselves besides caring for a home all day? I would think overall they'd want to contribute more than house services to their union. Having said that, if it works for the couple then I think there's nothing to be fixed there.
Also, I love my work so I don't consider it slaving away all day and my husband also loves his work. I just asked him if he feels he slaves away all day for a paycheck and he admits flat out that I've had to sacrifice more overall to our family and he doesn't feel he's ever been forced to slave away all day or sacrifice what he wants to do. It's why the resentment is mostly on my end in our relationship right now. That's exactly
what we're working on in our marriage. I want things to be more equal but he doesn't want to have to give more. He'd prefer I stay home forever and do the bulk of the work so that he can work whenever and however he likes.