Do these pants make my butt look big? Long post

Yardman · 10-05-2011, 03:37 PM

Ladies, I'd like your input on this along with that from men.

My wife asked me this last Sunday when we were starting to run out of time to get in the car and leave for brunch to celebrate D23's birthday. This was like the third try of pants. Thanks to what I've read here, I actually thought about my responce intead of saying something to pacify her.

I replied, "Do you really want my opinion?"

Her; "Yeah, seriously, do they?"

Me; "No, your butt makes them look fat cause it is stuffed in there. Go with the other tan pants that are larger."

Her; "That's NOT what I wanted to hear"

Me; "I thought you wanted my opinion. I can't read your mind and tell you what you want to hear. Look, we're going to an all you can eat pancake house, by D23's choic. I don't want you to bust a seam or send a button flying."

Her; "These fit fine just a few months ago. Now I'm getting fat again."

Me; "That's the result of all the resturant food you've been eating this summer. We've both put on a few pounds this summer. Would you like to go back on a healthy diet next week? We can go grocery shopping for better foods on the way home and start on Monday."

Her; "Sounds like a good plan. I'll get the weight watchers cookbook out on Monday."

Me; " We already know what our favorite dishes are. Get the cookbookout after we get home and have bought the stuff for a weeks diet. Then we can add something new."

Her; "Do you really think my ass is fat?'

Me; "It's bigger than it was, but smaller than I've seen it. I've always loved you, fat or not. I think we have time for a quickie."

Her; "No we gotta go."

I stood up from my chair which faced her backside and the long mirror. Spun her around as she was unduing the skinny pants, embraced then kissed while I gave her ass a hard squeeze.

I'm guessing this was a "sh!t test" . Normally I'd have replied, "Whatever", or " whaterever, they both look good, choose and go."

So it's mid week one on the diet plan. I've the menu plan for the first week and have shown her some recipies for the second week. Some odd-ball spices/ingrediants are required, but 've checked them out and know what to substitute for less expensive items in my area. So ffar, I've made every dinner, tomorrow we will cook together. That's just a job time thingy.

We did this last year. My results were more dramitic than hers. I decide to try something new in late winter and tapped 25 maple trees. Made much maple syrup, gave half away as gifts. I did overindulge with waht was left of my stock.

Last year was the first year, I fit into trousers/blue jeans of my 18th year alive. Was a huge thrill for me. She was excited for me too, but I sensed that she felt a bit of a failue on her side as I hit my goal in 5 months and she hadn't hit her's ever despite years of trying. Last year was the first time I ever tried to make it happen for her and really became involved in her diet. I'm an excellent cook, she is good too.

What she doesn't do is excercise. I lead an active lifestyle, manual labor. She doesn't. I'd like to involve her in my life with a gym/fitness thingy. She always says she has no time for that.

She has shown interest in at home stuff. Asked for a Wii. Got one at christmas from me. Her interst/enthusiasm didn't last long.

Any suggestions on involving her with exercise?

I've one idea, saw it on tv. It involves a rope or towl that both parteners hold on to as they do sit ups with their feet against the others for support. Also seen some partners stuff that would be..crazy fun to do nude.... Antone have ant links here?

One other question. Our 25th is coming up in May..... No plans as of now. Any suggestions for a small budget?

Lon · 10-05-2011, 03:51 PM

as for exercise, don't overdo it... weight is 90% diet... some exercise is important to keep our muscles in use, our joints flexible and our hearts pumping, but no matter how many calories we burn if you still overfeed the body it will just continue to get fatter. The tricky part is getting our minds and our mouths to stop overindulging while still being able to have the energy to do things and feel good. A good place to start is always weight training (for men and women alike) it will get all the right hormones and chemicals flowing to stay motivated, as well as build muscle mass which will help so much to burn up the fat. Meanwhile keep the portions small and nutritious and eat more often (having only one big meal a day will kill your metabolism). Also lifting weights can burn calories so much faster than hours upon hours of cardio - In my completely non-expert opinion I think women waste so many hours on the treadmill when they could be having sex with their H's instead.

Yardman · 10-05-2011, 04:01 PM

Lon, I get what you said.

I understand the healthy diet aspect and portin size thing. the having one big meal a day is an issue for her, not so for me.

Laurae1967 · 10-05-2011, 04:06 PM

Try just focusing on being healthy yourself and accepting her whatever her size is. Women don't lose weight and want sex when they feel that their husband's love and desire for them is conditional on their weight.

Your response to her sounded harsh to me and I would have been hurt by such a callous response. Saying "I think your other pants are more flattering" would have been a kinder response that would accomplish the goal of being truthful without hurting her feelings.

Yardman · 10-05-2011, 04:22 PM

Thanks Laurie,

My goal is not see her loose weight, just for her to happy in in own skin/body.

I'd like to introduce exercise as that would help her achieve her goal. Her goal weight would make her happy/ acomplised. I know she was resentful that I got ther before her, perhaps more easily.

Mrs. T · 10-05-2011, 07:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Yardman

Thanks Laurie,

My goal is not see her loose weight, just for her to happy in in own skin/body.

I'd like to introduce exercise as that would help her achieve her goal. Her goal weight would make her happy/ acomplised. I know she was resentful that I got ther before her, perhaps more easily.

What a refreshing attitude. I wish my ex husband would have had the same attitude or tried to support me when I needed/wanted to lose weight instead of killing my self esteem.

That could be part of the reason I call him ex now...

Stonewall · 10-06-2011, 04:50 AM

favorite exercise is 12 oz curls!

Runs like Dog · 10-06-2011, 09:32 AM

A great exercise is grab the dinner table with both hands, and push.

chillymorn · 10-06-2011, 12:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Stonewall

favorite exercise is 12 oz curls!

beginner try the 16oz curls.

chillymorn · 10-06-2011, 12:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Runs like Dog

A great exercise is grab the dinner table with both hands, and push.

LOL. thats an old exercise.but the most effective.

Runs like Dog · 10-06-2011, 12:37 PM

Americans seem to eat to the point of self loathing. Don't do that.

Laurae1967 · 10-06-2011, 12:40 PM

The thing is this - your wife isn't going to exercise unless she wants to do so. You wanting her to do it plays a very little role in it.

Men tend to lose weight more easily than women because they have more muscle mass, so if your mutual weight loss was somehow framed as a competition, she may feel like it's pointless to even try.

If you spend your time focusing on loving and appreciating her NOW, just as she is, maybe she will feel more motivated to lose weight on her own. Or maybe not. But I don't think it should play any role in your dynamic with her beyond inviting her to join you for activites you are already doing.

Everyone's reasons for exercising or not exercising are so personal and I just think a husband (or wife) and what works for you or motivates you might not work for her. But it's HER deal to figure out, not yours.

chillymorn · 10-07-2011, 07:04 AM

staying in shape is a life style change.

try changine your life style and leading by example.

start going to bed a little earlier.
start making sure you eat a healthy breakfast.
start taking a walk after dinner everynight.
maybe cut down on the coffee.

after you do these things you can gradually buil up to more impact stuff.
do these things on your own and make comments on how much better you feel and encourage her to join you in a positive way and if she isn't interested don't hold it aginst her.

chillymorn · 10-07-2011, 07:14 AM

ever see the comerical when abe linclon,s wife askes him that question?

and he responds ................perhaps just a little(because he can't tell a lie)

me and my 12 year old son laugh out loud everytime it comes on.

Yardman · 10-07-2011, 05:41 PM

Yes chillymorn, I have. Didn't think of that till you mentioned it. Very funny commercial!

Dieting is going well. Usually it's me doing the cooking for dinner. Fish, green beans, baked tater, and salad tonight. Steaming the beans, pan frying the fish in a little olive oil cajun style, spliting one big tater. Dark chocolate WW brownies for dessert.

The main area of her body that bugs her is around the waist. We did team sit ups which involved putting a towl between our hands, putting the soles of our feet together for resistance, and using the towl for assistance in motion. It was fun, she detests sit ups, but was fine with this.