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Menopause

4K views 24 replies 14 participants last post by  alte Dame 
#1 ·
Ladies who have gone thru menopause, do you have any desire for sex anymore?
 
#6 ·
She doesn't want to take them, and I'm not even goimg to suggest it. She is worried about cancer from HRT. Even though the risk is low, I will never push her in that direction, because if something were to happen I would feel like fecal matter. Besides, she never turns me down, but I do wish she would desire me.
 
#9 ·
I haven't had a hysterectomy, but I think there's a risk of that happening. I think that most often women can still orgasm afterwards if they have their ovaries or if they take HRT. Orgasm would feel different though, because some of your parts would be missing that usually participate.
 
#11 ·
Every woman is different. Those that do still have the desire might not have the desire like they did in their 20's, lol!!!! Some of us in dry old marriages might have the desire but not necessarily with our husbands!!!! So there is alot of factors there. There are natural (holistic) remedies if your wife is interested and does not want replacement therapy.
 
#14 ·
By desire you, you mean she doesn't initiate? Or she doesn't act into it?

If she has a lower natural drive, then initiating wouldn't be her thing. Its also a personality thing. So if she doesn't turn you down if you initiate I think concluding you are being "ripped off" is a bit much.

I think people need to learn to separate the concept if a spouse "wants you" from who is the intitiater. We have the idea that if you are desired people want to jump your bones 24/7, but not everyone is wired that way. But it doesn't make their desire when things occur any less authentic.

Honestly if I never turned husband down, and he still said he was "getting ripped off," that would really hurt. If that's the attitude, what's the point?
 
#15 ·
One of the reasons I want my period to remain is - from reading the many stories where women DO lose their sex drive after menopause (though HRT can spice that right back up -sometimes even higher so some stories seem to tell)... True.. this doesn't happen with all women.. there are a # here still going strong- without the extra hormones, even saying it's better...

But I know in my own family - the older females.. it appears to be the case.. I've talked to my mother about it.. an Aunt.. Also my step Mother.. that was her experience too (it died).. so I just assume I'll be similar.. things get dryer down there.. orgasms are more difficult.. Long live my period!

Easy to say now... but I will be bound & determined to keep him happy and still show enthusiasm.. because I KNOW how much it means to him.. and well.. ME TOO - all these years. I will have those memories flooding my mind in regards to our intimacy.. wanting to recapture whatever I can & keep it alive..

The whole Initiating thing.. some of us are very sensitive to it..it just is what it is... we just wouldn't feel fulfilled if our lover never came on to us...yeah even if they "go along" and seem to enjoy it..

I've never had a problem initiating.. I can be on the aggressive side even.. better not turn me down !!... I am more geared this way over him -even.. but I must admit.. if he never initiated me.. I'd be pi$$ed !@#$ ... I'd get bored with him.. it would come out my mouth.. I have gotten upset for lessor things over that..it's during those times... I've had to remind myself.. "shut up woman.. he still initiates , he still loves sex".. and this calms me down..

Take that away though.. the house would crumble.. I'd whine & complain.. so I guess I can't judge a man for feeling this way..

There are surely men who don't care about this.. and just TAKE what they want when they want it.. they'd be a much better sexual match for women who can't bring themselves to initiate once in a while..
 
#17 ·
The Relationship Between Adrenal Function and Menopausal Symptoms ? Naturopathic Doctor News and Review

What a lot of people don't understand is that many symptoms in menopause occur because of adrenal fatigue. In our stressed out world where women think they can have it all, we end up shutting down the parts of our bodies that were designed to help us get through menopause. We have to go back to the basics and be wise -moderate exercise, eat healthy clean whole foods, destress, sleep, and enjoy life. This allows nature to take its course and solves many of our man created menopausal symptoms.

If men want to help their wives during this time - help them do the above. It will also help you with your own aging issues.
 
#19 ·
No.. I don't mean it that way...though I think us women can get away with that sort of thing (my husband doesn't mind it)...

I know of a couple.. we've talked about these things...she never initiates .. and he never cared.. it's not even on his radar, he's not sensitive to this at all.. but yeah when he wants it.. she is there, and gives it to him.. that works for them.. they are sexually compatible..

Our dynamics are very different... I actually prefer sensitive men who want to feel desired ....I would even go so far as to be annoyed if I felt the man didn't need or care about my desire too...

I don't know.. It's not Rapey.. it's more about "passion" for each other.. the way I am looking at it.. don't we all want to feel desired.. If we as women feel this way.. we should understand why the man feels this way too..

I kinda look at it like a Love language... if we're married to someone wired like that..

I get it... we can't manufacture it at will.. but we should do all we can to satisfy each other.. find ways to work it up...if we're in this together..
 
#21 ·
Menopause doesn't get rid of a womans sex drive. Women get rid of their sex drive, or rather allow it to go away.

Any couple who have a good relationship will work through anything like this together if it happens. If she wants to have sex with you she will make it happen. If there are lube problems or desire problems or whatever, they can all be overcome if that's what she really wants to do. Allowing the physical aspects that sometimes happen with menopause to affect your sex life should not happen if the couple know how to, and WANT to, work together and deal with such problems together.
 
#22 ·
SA, you sound like a wonderful and caring wife. My wife is a lot like you, thank God. She always tries to please me, and I try to do likewise. Does that mean we are sexually compatible? You betcha!

Hope1964 is dead-on, too. Women have more control of their drive than they realize in a very high percentage of cases. If they actually try to overcome any changes that take place in their body, they usually can. It's all about attitude and willingness to address those changes that make a world of difference. That goes the same for the man, too.

My wife is in full menopause now, and she never fails to try and please me. Her desire was sort of in and out for a while, but it's definitely there now with a vengeance. I have the utmost respect for my wife, and love her dearly.
 
#24 ·
Does my post menopausal wife desire sex, absolutely. Has her desire changed, absolutely, in her own words she no longer has "the biological urge to make babies". And because it has changed for her I, well we, had to change how we approached intimacy in general. (Edit to remove tmi and too specific to us details.) Took close to 3 years for us to figure out what works for us.

But she gets that it is very important to us, and always had. What about Mrs T, even before the estrogen left the building?
 
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