I'm at my witts ends with this...i feel very down please help
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Old 10-22-2011, 07:53 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Exclamation I'm at my witts ends with this...i feel very down please help

Hello all

Ok so me and my husband got married on the 24th of september 2011,only been married a couple of weeks
The thing is i have a "friend" that i seem threatened by :S i started to notice it on our wedding day when she was at mine when i was getting ready to get married,somebody asked me to phone my husband to be to make sure my sister got on the coach that was taking the quests to our wedding,and all off a sudden she jumps up and shouts ill do it ill phone please let me phone him,i was like no its ok ill do it thanks oh but i get free calls lets me do it please so i said no! Now most recently she has had a big impact on our relationship,As soon as 9am hits the clocks there texting constantly,he is always down there,always doing favours for her and her so called boyfreind she dosent really take intrest in,Ive asked him to stop texting her and he said yes but has actually done it!Ive asked him not to go down to hers when her boyfreind isnt there as he works and he is his freind not her anyway,but still goes down,he even teaches her little boy stuff and is quite nasty to our kids,so tonight we had this big argument i really needed him there yesterday as my baby was gettin an operation done,and when i came home at 9pm with our baby he wasnt home he was 50miles away selling there car for them as a favour and i really could of done with a cuddle from him as it wasnt nice to see from being at the hospitial he didnt arrive home until 12am in the morning,everytime she needs somethin hes there,we were on holiday last week and i asked him no to text her and he did it anyway even though he said no!! he says there is nothing going on and he has no feelings and that he is just bein a freind but i have a feeling that he has some sort of feelings for her i just have this instinct,he also says stuff like i go down there to get away from you as you nagg me too much etc etc,he also goes down there an drinkins at the weekend and she tells me diffrent storys thatn what he has and then he looks at me as if to say oh s****,i feel very threated by her too t,its her that makes me angry its her that makes me cry its her that makes me frustrated not him,i 100% trust my husband and know he would do anythin but i still thing there is some feelings there,she is the problem what can i do?
also he promised me tonight that he will only go down when her boyfreind is there and that he will change his number and wont text her again as he said i was more improtant tha anything,i just want to say something to her but i dont want to if you know what i mean incase i have the wrong end of the stick but i know i dont and she is really bugging me and its making me frustrated
sorry for the long letter

He says he is just being a good freind
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Old 10-22-2011, 07:55 PM   #2 (permalink)
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Default Re: I'm at my witts ends with this...i feel very down please help

Get rid of the friend.

Tell your husband you're no longer friends with her and he has no reason to contact her now.
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Old 10-22-2011, 07:59 PM   #3 (permalink)
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Default Re: I'm at my witts ends with this...i feel very down please help

Ummm, your husband is having an emotional affair with your "friend". He is betraying you and your family by putting her first. Last time I checked, your WIFE came before your female friends.

Tell him that he has to choose between the two of you....and if he chooses to continue keeping in contact with her, you will know where his loyalty lies - with her.

Sorry he's being a dumba$$.
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Old 10-22-2011, 08:05 PM   #4 (permalink)
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Default Re: I'm at my witts ends with this...i feel very down please help

He is being a dumba$$,Im so frustrated,he said he will stop speaking to her etc but he wont stop seeing and speaking to her boyfriend which is his pal not mine,and i said thats fine aslong as you dont go down when he isnt there,his freind is always up here at nights anyway but still not the point! i cant het this frustration out,how do i get rid off it?

sorry about all the spelling mistakes just realised when i read it over there lol
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Old 10-22-2011, 08:06 PM   #5 (permalink)
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Default Re: I'm at my witts ends with this...i feel very down please help

I wouldn't trust his friendship with her boyfriend...he'll use it to his advantage.

He doesn't see this as wrong?
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Old 10-22-2011, 08:12 PM   #6 (permalink)
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Default Re: I'm at my witts ends with this...i feel very down please help

No he dosent not 1 bit,he says he dosent understand why im being like this,not once inthe 5years have i ever ever felt like this while he has been around another woman ever,so this must mean something! i was talking to him tonight and i got really upset and was crying and he said he would not text her no more or go down but i did say it was ok too go down when her boyfriend was there but only when he is there and he also suggested that he will wait until his freind came to visist in which he does everynight for a coffee in which i dont mine at all,it may sound selfish but it stops him from going down there,I have this pure hate for her not him,just her,
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Old 10-22-2011, 08:14 PM   #7 (permalink)
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Default Re: I'm at my witts ends with this...i feel very down please help

Don't tell him it's ok to go down when the guy is there.

You've been married a month or so and already this? I'm so sorry. I would think a newly married man would be all about his wife, not his wife's friend/buddy's gf.

What does her boyfriend think of all this?
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Old 10-22-2011, 08:15 PM   #8 (permalink)
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Default Re: I'm at my witts ends with this...i feel very down please help

....double post.
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Old 10-22-2011, 08:16 PM   #9 (permalink)
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Default Re: I'm at my witts ends with this...i feel very down please help

Listen, you have a right to feel threatened. Your husband has poor boundaries with this girl. He is having an inappropriate relationship with her. All of the time and attention he is spending with her should be directed at YOU and your family. Trust your feelings!

You are pi$$ed off because he is ignoring your feelings. Who wouldn't be pi$$ed off?

Draw a line in the sand. Tell him NO more friend and no more girlfriend. He's a married man. He should be focusing his time and attention on you and your family. He sounds immature and selfish. Why did you marry him? Often it's better to be alone than with someone who can't meet even minimal needs.
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Old 10-22-2011, 08:19 PM   #10 (permalink)
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Default Re: I'm at my witts ends with this...i feel very down please help

Too be honest i dont think he sees what i see as he aint there from 6 to 6 as he works,plus he isnt happy at the moment with her as somethin between her and his brother is going on but i wont go into too much detail about someone else realtionship,but his brothers the same hes always there always going to the pub with her always out shopping with her,while the bf stay at home,his brother dosent come up to see him its to see her,so ill let you judge that 1 cause i already have my opion on it,
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Old 10-22-2011, 08:40 PM   #11 (permalink)
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Default Re: I'm at my witts ends with this...i feel very down please help

Too much drama! What is so amazing about this girl? Does she sleep with everyone?
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