Ladies what makes a man handsome to a woman?
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Old 10-22-2011, 11:25 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Default Ladies what makes a man handsome to a woman?

Today I was wondering if I am still considered handsome to women. There was a time in my life I really was. Now I am middle aged. My skin is aged from the sun. I have wrinkles... I have gray hair. I need to take off about 15 pounds. I was seriously wondering if I am considered attractive to woman. After all, my wife never compliments me on my looks. So, my question is, is it possible for a man who has flaws in his physical appearance to still be considered handsome/attractive to woman? If so, what must the man have?
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Old 10-23-2011, 12:00 AM   #2 (permalink)
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Default Re: Ladies what makes a man handsome to a woman?

Personality.

Knowing that the man actually CARES about what the woman wants, thinks, and cares about.

It's pretty obvious when a man just wants sex. And most men just want sex.

WE KNOW.

And THAT man is not attractive.
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Old 10-23-2011, 05:42 AM   #3 (permalink)
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Default Re: Ladies what makes a man handsome to a woman?

Few will admit it, but the primary purpose for a man (to a woman) is and always has been security. They want someone who can take care of them and any potential offspring. This is primal stuff and exists even in the feminist mind. This doesn't mean women don't work or don't earn more than men sometimes. To be respected, the man has to at least appear to be able to take care of the woman. By being unemployed and assuming a "follower" role in your marriage, you are going against millions of years of evolution. Back in the day, no cave woman would touch you because you don't act like a hunter or a warrior. Appear confident, strong, decisive, ambitious, and prosperous.
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Old 10-23-2011, 06:36 AM   #4 (permalink)
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Default Re: Ladies what makes a man handsome to a woman?

It has to do with chemistry to me. I don't know if my husband would be considered attractive by other women - I know several of my good girlfriends told me they don't find him attractive. I honestly cross-my-heart think he's the most attractive man I've ever met and every time he looks at me, I get butterflies. So it's chemical. And my husband has a number of "imperfections" of the sort you mention (not the same, but same sort of thing).

On the other hand, he also has long thick eyelashes, perfect teeth, gorgeous feet (first man I've ever seen with nice-looking feet!), etc etc. The list goes on, I don't want to get started here.

So even if you have imperfections, if the chemistry is there, the woman will not only find you "overall" really attractive (hot!) but will also be able to list your "perfect" features as well (even if you don't think you have any yourself!).
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Old 10-23-2011, 06:40 AM   #5 (permalink)
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Default Re: Ladies what makes a man handsome to a woman?

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Few will admit it, but the primary purpose for a man (to a woman) is and always has been security. They want someone who can take care of them and any potential offspring. This is primal stuff and exists even in the feminist mind. This doesn't mean women don't work or don't earn more than men sometimes. To be respected, the man has to at least appear to be able to take care of the woman. By being unemployed and assuming a "follower" role in your marriage, you are going against millions of years of evolution. Back in the day, no cave woman would touch you because you don't act like a hunter or a warrior. Appear confident, strong, decisive, ambitious, and prosperous.
I agree that the qualities you list (confidence, strength, decisiveness, ambition, and prosperity) are attractive. When I first met my husband, he showed all these qualities and while I knew that he wasn't wealthy or going to be wealthy, the actual amount of money isn't what matters. What matters is that he makes you feel SAFE. The fact that he's in debt or doesn't make very much money doesn't affect that - if it did, poor men wouldn't have a chance - but as we all know, that's not the case.

Also, funny how this has been identified as women's way of picking a good father for their children - it works the same in women who have no desire for children at all. I want NOT to have children and yet I am very attracted by my husband's confident, strong nature - I like the feeling of security and safety.

I don't know why people wouldn't admit to it, by the way. I'll admit to it, if that helps :P
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Old 10-23-2011, 07:14 AM   #6 (permalink)
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Default Re: Ladies what makes a man handsome to a woman?

Any man can be attractive with the 'right' attitude/personality, and even without an 'edge' there is always a woman out there who will adore you... Even with extra pounds and gray hair. Any man can be handsome and attractive if he is comfortable in his own skin, so to speak.

In fact, I keep telling my husband that I CAN'T WAIT until he goes gray... He's going to be even hotter then, then he is now!! :P
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Old 10-23-2011, 08:11 AM   #7 (permalink)
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Default Re: Ladies what makes a man handsome to a woman?

Every woman will answer this differently. When I think of what's handsome to me...its different from man to man. It has something to do with how he carries himself...how he expresses himself. On a physical level it is different from man to an too...I find george clooney, benicio del toro, idris elba, clive owen, and jason momoa all handsome.
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Old 10-23-2011, 05:03 PM   #8 (permalink)
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Default Re: Ladies what makes a man handsome to a woman?

It varies from woman to woman. Confidence (not ****y), kindness and intelligence are a turn on for me. A good sense of humor is key, too.

Someone who feels confortable in their own skin is attractive in general, I think.
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Old 10-23-2011, 05:34 PM   #9 (permalink)
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Default Re: Ladies what makes a man handsome to a woman?

I don't really care if a guy is "Mr Confidence, ambition or prosperity".. .. I am more concerned about his Character... can his "word" be counted on, is he faithful in all he sets his hands too- including his Job , whatever it may be, is he honest to a fault, the devoted type. A superb Handyman is a turn on. I have a great appreciation for the Beta qualities in men.

I agree with Unbelievable, us women seek "security". Of coarse good looks helps! I like a thin man with a flat stomach, I am not crazy about gray but I need to get over it, we are getting older, I am happy mine still has a full set of hair as he is nearing 50 in a couple yrs.

I have always been drawn to the shyer guys. They are a little bit of a mystery to unravel - what is underneath that bashfulness. Of coarse he needs to be able to carry a good conversation & have a sense of humor that has an appreciation for mine.

No matter how our looks change over the years, if you are with someone most of your life, I think we all have the ability to see them "forever young" when we look into their eyes.
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Old 10-23-2011, 05:48 PM   #10 (permalink)
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Default Re: Ladies what makes a man handsome to a woman?

what's more important to the OP, being attractive to his wife or to women in general, cause they're not mutually exclusive? Also, assuming the OP doesn't have any physical limitation he could lose some weight and easily dye his hair.
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Old 10-23-2011, 06:32 PM   #11 (permalink)
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Default Re: Ladies what makes a man handsome to a woman?

Quote:
Originally Posted by unbelievable View Post
Few will admit it, but the primary purpose for a man (to a woman) is and always has been security. They want someone who can take care of them and any potential offspring. This is primal stuff and exists even in the feminist mind. This doesn't mean women don't work or don't earn more than men sometimes. To be respected, the man has to at least appear to be able to take care of the woman. By being unemployed and assuming a "follower" role in your marriage, you are going against millions of years of evolution. Back in the day, no cave woman would touch you because you don't act like a hunter or a warrior. Appear confident, strong, decisive, ambitious, and prosperous.
I actually agree with you to some extent on this. My husband is incredibly good looking. Think Tom Brady good looking (literally) with the height as well.
When he was making $40k a year, he wasn't as attractive to me. The question though is, is he more attractive now because of what he makes or because he carries himself in a way that makes him more attractive? When he made less money and we were struggling, he lacked confidence and esteem. After he started to make six figs, he became a different person and yes, wildly attractive to me. I am not sure it was the money. I think it had more to do with how he carried himself and his worth and I saw something different in him and it was very very sexy.
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Old 10-24-2011, 12:26 AM   #12 (permalink)
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Default Re: Ladies what makes a man handsome to a woman?

Intelligence, sense of humor, be respectful, faithful, caring, affectionate, to many woman the most important is not the looks but the personality.
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Old 10-24-2011, 03:14 AM   #13 (permalink)
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Default Re: Ladies what makes a man handsome to a woman?

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Originally Posted by wifeofhusband View Post
Dyed hair in men I do not find attractive. I prefer a man who is confidently gray :-)
I agree. I once was interested in a guy who was very attractive, absolutely brilliant, etc. Then a mutual friend told me that "that's not his real hair" and the attraction withered away within a few days!! I just couldn't get past the feeling that he lacked confidence in himself. I had heard forever that women don't like men who lack confidence but that was probably the first time I saw it SO clearly in my own reaction to a guy.
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Old 10-24-2011, 06:19 AM   #14 (permalink)
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Default Re: Ladies what makes a man handsome to a woman?

A man with enough money can look like Jabba the Hut or have the personality of a carp but will still have an array of women vying for his attention.
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Old 10-24-2011, 09:49 AM   #15 (permalink)
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Default Re: Ladies what makes a man handsome to a woman?

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Originally Posted by turnera View Post
Personality.

Knowing that the man actually CARES about what the woman wants, thinks, and cares about.

It's pretty obvious when a man just wants sex. And most men just want sex.

WE KNOW.

And THAT man is not attractive.
Ha! So most men aren't attractive. Rather narrows down the field a bit. Did you never think that man wants sex with you, but not the twenty other women in the room?
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