Originally Posted by I'mInLoveWithMyHubby View Post
I've read over and over on this site on how women prefer their men to be the "alpha" type. I'm curious if your husband has alpha qualities.
Men, are you alpha or are you more of beta?
My husband is 100% nice guy, but he is very confident. I don't see him as alpha, but neither am I. We go on living life in harmony. Neither one of us are bossy, naggy, or expect anything from one another... except respect. Neither of us are arrogant either. We have a very healthy sex life and we both do our best to please one another. My husband has always put my needs before his, and in return I do the same. We never raise our voice at one another either for the last 13 years of being together. My husband is very affocinate and takes time daily to snuggle up to me. We hold hands, pillow talk/talk and sometimes watch television. One thing that's important is that my husband has no expectations from me. This works out well since I'm currently disabled. He tells me everyday that he loves me and kisses me before work and before I go to bed.
Our children see how well we get along and they too, get along with each other. My kids never ever fight with one another. The only issue I have is with my oldest child from a previous marriage. Her father is abusive and treats all women with disrespect. I prefer the nice guy over the alpha.
I have always identified with nearly every post you write -in regards to your husband, he sounds EXACTLY like mine. I seriously wonder if he has the exact same temperment as my husbands...
Have you & him ever taken any temperment tests ? I did a thread on this - would love to hear what you both are, I suspect Phlegmatic for you both, given you never fight, even your kids seem so tame. Learning our Temperments & that of our Spouses to better understand them..
Though our husbands sound so very similar -as I can see here, I am not as "sweet" as you. NO, I am rough around the edges. ANd our kids FIGHT. BUt I don't think it is any big deal at all, I see this as pretty normal behavior, they love each other too, but they also love to annoy at times. We even razz them about it.
I couldn't say I never expect anything, I can be rather selfish, why I was very careful to marry someone who had the same values, hopes & dreams as me -or I believe it would have been a WAR. And if I don't watch myself, I am capable of being arrogent at times, I try to level this out with some humility. I DO enjoy arguing now & then- my husband will even say ...I like to fight- but he always says it with a smile
.... I LOVE debate, I can be feisty - it is not always calm at our house, but the funniest thing about our marraige is ......My hushand LIKES women like this! He has ALWAYS said....-he likes "rough women
", even the girls he had crushes on in Elementary , I laughed & laughed, they were all the bad girls. And he is the utter opposite of this, nice guy incarnate.
I never was the type to get into too much trouble (only with my mouth at times with girlfriends), so he was attracted to women worse than me -but he can handle me very well. He said to me one day...." who needs a roller derby woman, I got you!" & hugs me tight.
I can't seem to help it, I am just more "intense", whether it be anger, happiness, sadness, Joy.... If I am feeling something strongly, it just shows, it is on the sleeve. Of coarse when it is good, it is VERY good , enthusiam overflowing, to the point of being catchy. But when it is bad, I can really let it fly. MY kids will listen -when Mama gets angry, and they see I am not playing.
But both of us can be as mushy as mushy can possibly be, and I wouldn't trade it for anything in this world.
I do very much RESPECT my husband, he has been so faithful and true, always goes above & beyond for me & our family.
I absolutely adore these type of MEN, so long as they are HONEST, not faking who they are and good looking, I prefer the scales tipped more in the Beta direction 100 % of the time, they have the qualities I value the MOST, when you couple those qualities with confidence in themselves of course, not bowing to others -to be liked. We will never be liked by everyone.
We are what we are, to be the BEST of what we are -should be all of our aim and ...."praise" those differences.
IF all men were Alphas and the beta traits all died , the world would go to Hell. I agree any good man needs a mixture of both traits though! But I still want it tipped more Beta. If I found myself single, I would probably advertise ....looking for the Nice Guys.
Here is a thread that speaks about this stuff, notice the posts by Atholk....as the original poster had it all wrong, too much reading on Google slaughering the Beta qualities.... Atholk has the TRUE Balanced view on all of these things - wrote about it in his latest book (I even bought it ) , I was surprised he admitted to being more Beta naturally - and sexually..... these men are more Pleasers in bed, wanting thier wives pleasure MORE than their own, what woman wouldn't want that !! The definitive Alpha/Beta thread