I wish my H knew a happy medium when it comes to asking/nagging for sex. But at the same time I can see the dilemma he's in... I ask him to be touchy/feely in other non-sexual ways, because like your H, I feel like sometimes that's all he wants... But for my H, he has to stop being intimate in any touchy way, or else he get's turned on, which then creates the nagging for sex. It's a slippery slope in our home. For instance, we give goodnight hugs/kisses, next thing you know he's got a hard on, mind me it's just a kiss/hug. No touching. Now, it's 10 pm and he's horny. On one hand, I'm flattered, on the other I'm annoyed. Another example, we're sitting on the couch, he has his hand on my leg, he can't leave it there for any length of time without moving up my leg to my crotch. Is it something men (and women) can't control? I crave the intimate moments that do not lead to sex, really I do. I would love to just have a 5 minute kiss session and be able to lay there and cuddle and go to sleep, but I can't because now he's got a raging hard on that won't go away.
When I read stuff like this, I find myself ENVIOUS .....and so very very very very mad at myself for NOT being there for my own husband the way you ladies are ABLE to in his youth. I was too sexually repressed to take advantage of all those lovely luscious beautiful hard ons. While my husband suffered in silence. This is no better than nagging, believe me. I only wish my husband would have nagged me, maybe I would have gotten over some of my hang ups quicker in our marraige, I don't know. All water under the bridge now.
And No, the man can not help it --he simply can not. When my sex drive went through the roof, which yours may do someday when HE is slowing down (this is a cruel Joke God plays on us)...
My hands & my mouth to his private parts was like a powerful magnet to steel, it didn't matter where we was, I wanted to touch him, take his clothes off and feel him wrapped around me and IN me. Equivalent to your husbands Hards on's I was WET like 24/7 , it was near insane and it affected my head terribly , I couldn't shut it off. I was drawn to want what I wanted , the power of a sex drive is not understood by many spouses, it is near PAINFUL to not have it relieved and if we want that connection with our spouses, even more so -when rejected. I would get very very emotional if I even felt my husband didn't "want" me.
My husband did anything & everything to take care of my needs, so for that I have the uptmost LOVE for him and I know what it is like to be on the receiving end of a Lover who cares for your needs 100% , and I have cried tears for NOT being that for him when he was younger and feeling it the way --- your husbands are.
So just some insight from an older lady who missed her time with her husband in his youth....
If I had a time machine, the #1 thing I would go back for is my husband feeling like yours is --right now.
You are blessed.