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Old 12-01-2011, 03:38 PM   #31 (permalink)
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Default Re: Women who want their husbands to stop asking/nagging for sex...

Tryingtofigureitout

Are you husband or wife?

Sounds like an old fashion attitude. Interesting. I do not agree with you but I understand.
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Old 12-01-2011, 03:45 PM   #32 (permalink)
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Default Re: Women who want their husbands to stop asking/nagging for sex...

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I wish my H knew a happy medium when it comes to asking/nagging for sex. But at the same time I can see the dilemma he's in... I ask him to be touchy/feely in other non-sexual ways, because like your H, I feel like sometimes that's all he wants... But for my H, he has to stop being intimate in any touchy way, or else he get's turned on, which then creates the nagging for sex. It's a slippery slope in our home. For instance, we give goodnight hugs/kisses, next thing you know he's got a hard on, mind me it's just a kiss/hug. No touching. Now, it's 10 pm and he's horny. On one hand, I'm flattered, on the other I'm annoyed. Another example, we're sitting on the couch, he has his hand on my leg, he can't leave it there for any length of time without moving up my leg to my crotch. Is it something men (and women) can't control? I crave the intimate moments that do not lead to sex, really I do. I would love to just have a 5 minute kiss session and be able to lay there and cuddle and go to sleep, but I can't because now he's got a raging hard on that won't go away.
When I read stuff like this, I find myself ENVIOUS .....and so very very very very mad at myself for NOT being there for my own husband the way you ladies are ABLE to in his youth. I was too sexually repressed to take advantage of all those lovely luscious beautiful hard ons. While my husband suffered in silence. This is no better than nagging, believe me. I only wish my husband would have nagged me, maybe I would have gotten over some of my hang ups quicker in our marraige, I don't know. All water under the bridge now.

And No, the man can not help it --he simply can not. When my sex drive went through the roof, which yours may do someday when HE is slowing down (this is a cruel Joke God plays on us)...
...
My hands & my mouth to his private parts was like a powerful magnet to steel, it didn't matter where we was, I wanted to touch him, take his clothes off and feel him wrapped around me and IN me. Equivalent to your husbands Hards on's I was WET like 24/7 , it was near insane and it affected my head terribly , I couldn't shut it off. I was drawn to want what I wanted , the power of a sex drive is not understood by many spouses, it is near PAINFUL to not have it relieved and if we want that connection with our spouses, even more so -when rejected. I would get very very emotional if I even felt my husband didn't "want" me.

My husband did anything & everything to take care of my needs, so for that I have the uptmost LOVE for him and I know what it is like to be on the receiving end of a Lover who cares for your needs 100% , and I have cried tears for NOT being that for him when he was younger and feeling it the way --- your husbands are.

So just some insight from an older lady who missed her time with her husband in his youth....

If I had a time machine, the #1 thing I would go back for is my husband feeling like yours is --right now.

You are blessed.
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Old 12-01-2011, 04:12 PM   #33 (permalink)
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Default Re: Women who want their husbands to stop asking/nagging for sex...

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When I read stuff like this, I find myself ENVIOUS .....and so very very very very mad at myself for NOT being there for my own husband the way you ladies are ABLE to in his youth. I was too sexually repressed to take advantage of all those lovely luscious beautiful hard ons. While my husband suffered in silence. This is no better than nagging, believe me. I only wish my husband would have nagged me, maybe I would have gotten over some of my hang ups quicker in our marraige, I don't know. All water under the bridge now.

And No, the man can not help it --he simply can not. When my sex drive went through the roof, which yours may do someday when HE is slowing down (this is a cruel Joke God plays on us)...
...
My hands & my mouth to his private parts was like a powerful magnet to steel, it didn't matter where we was, I wanted to touch him, take his clothes off and feel him wrapped around me and IN me. Equivalent to your husbands Hards on's I was WET like 24/7 , it was near insane and it affected my head terribly , I couldn't shut it off. I was drawn to want what I wanted , the power of a sex drive is not understood by many spouses, it is near PAINFUL to not have it relieved and if we want that connection with our spouses, even more so -when rejected. I would get very very emotional if I even felt my husband didn't "want" me.

My husband did anything & everything to take care of my needs, so for that I have the uptmost LOVE for him and I know what it is like to be on the receiving end of a Lover who cares for your needs 100% , and I have cried tears for NOT being that for him when he was younger and feeling it the way --- your husbands are.

So just some insight from an older lady who missed her time with her husband in his youth....

If I had a time machine, the #1 thing I would go back for is my husband feeling like yours is --right now.

You are blessed.
To add on to what SA posted, women need to remember that for most men, we can't control that feeling and we can't control the physical evidence of that feeling. It has a mind of its own, especially when men are younger. We can't control it, it gets hard at the worst possible times, despite our best efforts to control it (I still get embarassed thinking about my physical reaction in 6th period science sitting next to the cute girl I had the crush on in 10th grade). So when your husband gets hard when kissing and cuddling, or when his hands seem to roam on their own, its not completely his fault. It's the chemicals from kissing you that is starting the sexual engine. He can't stop it, he can't even contain it. It just happens.
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Old 12-06-2011, 06:18 PM   #34 (permalink)
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Default Re: Women who want their husbands to stop asking/nagging for sex...

I stopped nagging my h about sex, guess what, it still never happens.

I would have been happy with once a week or every other week.

Doesn't really matter now, My drive is gone and has been for a little while.
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Old 12-06-2011, 06:25 PM   #35 (permalink)
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Default Re: Women who want their husbands to stop asking/nagging for sex...

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Tryingtofigureitout

Are you husband or wife?

Sounds like an old fashion attitude. Interesting. I do not agree with you but I understand.
I'm a husband and yes I'm old school in ways. Part of my upbringing back when marriages meant something.

When you think of it the males should always be the initiator and the female receptive to a chosen mate. Look at nature.

It's unnatural for most females to initiate... that is not their evolutionary role. Females are the gatekeepers not the battering rams trying to bust down that gate. To infiltrate the castle.

Don't get me wrong I'd LOVE my wife to initiate... I think she did it twice in 20+ years. But I'll never fault her for not doing it more. I do have issue when I get rejected so much though she needs to be much more receptive.

Last edited by Trying2figureitout; 12-06-2011 at 06:33 PM.
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Old 12-06-2011, 09:51 PM   #36 (permalink)
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Default Re: Women who want their husbands to stop asking/nagging for sex...

This whole thread makes me want to cry. Sexless marriages are so tragic. People are missing so much pleasure and bonding.

"When you think of it the males should always be the initiator and the female receptive to a chosen mate. Look at nature.

It's unnatural for most females to initiate... that is not their evolutionary role. Females are the gatekeepers not the battering rams trying to bust down that gate. To infiltrate the castle
"



Well, it's official. I am a freak of nature.
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Old 12-07-2011, 10:29 AM   #37 (permalink)
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Default Re: Women who want their husbands to stop asking/nagging for sex...

No is the new Yes. And in a weird way it's liberating. Since we will never.....I no longer waste time and energy worrying about it. And trust me, if you wait long enough, you no longer feel anything.
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Old 12-07-2011, 05:43 PM   #38 (permalink)
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Default Re: Women who want their husbands to stop asking/nagging for sex...

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No is the new Yes. And in a weird way it's liberating. Since we will never.....I no longer waste time and energy worrying about it. And trust me, if you wait long enough, you no longer feel anything.
That is so sad. Glad I'm not there yet!
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Old 12-08-2011, 10:59 AM   #39 (permalink)
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Default Re: Women who want their husbands to stop asking/nagging for sex...

No, it used to be sad. Now it's just normal. If I was Jake in "The Sun Also Rises" or Ron Kovic in "Born on the Fourth of July" then that's the way it would be because impossible is impossible. This is like that.
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Old 12-08-2011, 11:39 AM   #40 (permalink)
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Default Re: Women who want their husbands to stop asking/nagging for sex...

I initiate too. lol. But not often. He doesn't initiate often either. We just snuggle together at night Then it's on...
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Old 12-08-2011, 01:05 PM   #41 (permalink)
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Default Re: Women who want their husbands to stop asking/nagging for sex...

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I initiate too. lol. But not often. He doesn't initiate often either. We just snuggle together at night Then it's on...
Interesting, becuase I have learned that my wife initiates much more than I used to realize. She just does so in a different way than I do. Certain touches or reactions tell me she is interested. My problem was not recognizing them. Now that I do, well
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Old 12-14-2011, 09:54 AM   #42 (permalink)
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Default Re: Women who want their husbands to stop asking/nagging for sex...

I would be very relieved if this occurred. However I am aware that most people have sexual needs, and so I would have to work some sort of alternative into the equation for him. I wouldn't just cut him off from sex forever. Whether it be an open relationship or if he got some sort of brothel allowance each week, something like that.

We almost tried this before but in the end he wussed out because he realised he wouldn't be having sex with me again.. ever under this arrangement. I said to him "I thought that was the whole POINT of it?". I guess he wanted to have his cake and eat it too. Not in this house.
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Old 12-14-2011, 09:56 AM   #43 (permalink)
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Default Re: Women who want their husbands to stop asking/nagging for sex...

Oh, and I also believe that it doesn't matter who initiates the sex.. as long as you get there in the end. If you want sex, you have to ask for it, otherwise you get none. It's as simple as that. Not hard to comprehend at all.
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Old 12-14-2011, 10:00 AM   #44 (permalink)
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Default Re: Women who want their husbands to stop asking/nagging for sex...

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Oh, and I also believe that it doesn't matter who initiates the sex.. as long as you get there in the end. If you want sex, you have to ask for it, otherwise you get none. It's as simple as that. Not hard to comprehend at all.
feel sorry for your husband.

with an attitude like that I din't know how he maintains an erection to have sex with you.
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Old 12-14-2011, 10:33 AM   #45 (permalink)
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Default Re: Women who want their husbands to stop asking/nagging for sex...

I also stopped bringing up the topic with my wife. She said if I did then she might be more inclined to do it. No, she is perfectly happy not hearing about the issue, and passion is long gone. Only took about 1 month of marriage. A year later I'm barely allowed to see her naked, then a peck before she is asleep, but she loves head massages.
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