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post #1 of 48 (permalink) Old 10-28-2016, 03:28 PM Thread Starter
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Hi, why do these Top twenty traits matter to woman?

The Top 20 Traits Women Want in a Man
.................................................. ................................................
Results
We organized traits and characteristics according to the percentage of women who ranked them within the top 10 attributes. Women rated traits relating to character and personality much higher than they scored those reflecting physical attractiveness. For example, only 13 percent of women included muscular build as a requisite for hotness, while 66 percent placed moral integrity as a "make me quiver" characteristic. Check out the supporting data.

Top 5 Character Traits

84%p
1. Faithfulness
More than 8 out of 10 women rated "faithful to me" in the top 10 attributes they find sexy in a man. A woman's tendency toward attachment is a biological imperative, a matter of raising offspring right. Reassure her (often) that you're not going anywhere.

75%
2. Dependability
Three out of four women say they look for a man who makes commitments and follows through. Being responsible—even if it's just remembering to pick up salad dressing on your way over to her place—sends a positive signal that someday you might commit.

67%
3. Kindness
Young women may still fall for the bad-boy type, but more-mature women are turned on by kindness, because kindness inspires confidence. In other words, if you treat the waitress well, your date figures you'll treat her well, too.

66%
4. Moral Integrity
Having the guts to tell the truth means to a woman that you have the guts to be a good, caring, decent partner over the long haul. White lies are okay; just avoid any that are tinged with gray.

51%
5. Fatherliness
Being a good dad (or having the potential to become one) is about being a good role model—and about being patient and caring, qualities women like in a partner. If you're not a father, then tell her about your favorite niece or nephew, or the employee you're mentoring at work.

Top 5 Personality Traits

77%
1. Sense of Humor
Being able to laugh at the stresses of this world is a must, according to the women on our panel. You get bonus points if you can make them laugh. Humor tells a woman that you can laugh at—read, handle easily—the many difficulties that life throws at you.

55%
2. Intelligence
A worldy, interesting man is a man she likes to show off. Men who are take-charge problem solvers make women feel secure, and men who are always improving are never boring.

46%
3. Passion
Why have women always melted for musicians? Because rock stars are passionate in public. Women like displays of passion because they're not accustomed to seeing them from men. Get passionate about something: kayaking, impressionistic art, barbecuing, or Habitat for Humanity. It's proof that you care for and about something beyond yourself.

41%
4. Confidence
A man who feels secure in his own skin makes the woman he's with feel secure. By showing you can handle unfamiliar people or situations, you tell the woman in your life that she need not fear, either.

38%
5. Generosity
This is more important to women over 35 than it is to those under that age. Generosity, however, doesn't just mean springing for dinner at a four-star. Your willingness to give your time and lend your ear is what women crave.

Top 5 Practical Skills

53%
1. Listening
Pay attention. A woman feels safe and secure when she knows her man will put down his BlackBerry and listen to her. Magic words: "I'm here. Tell me everything."

48%
2. Romancing
Romance appeals to a woman's right-brained, less-logical side. Every woman fantasizes about being swept off her feet. Romance is bold because you're displaying your desire for a woman and revealing a softer, more vulnerable side that women find irresistible.


35%
3. Being Good in Bed
It's not just the orgasms. A woman knows that a man who takes care of her in bed will take care of her out of bed. (Of course, the orgasms don't hurt.) Your enthusiasm for her body is more important than your sexual prowess.

23%
4. Cooking, Cleaning, etc.
Self-sufficiency means you're not going to expect her to be like your mother. Learn how to make one or two killer breakfasts or dinners, and you'll win her heart.

21%
5. Earning Potential
One in five women surveyed said a man's successfulness in his career contributes to his sexiness. If you've demonstrated talent, goal achievement, and follow-through, you give women confidence that you will be a good provider.

Top 5 Physical Attributes

30%
1. Sense of Style
The way you dress reflects on the woman you're with, and she knows it. The man who knows how to match a patterned shirt and tie will notice when she's dressed well, too. (And maybe he'll pay for the Blahniks.) Keep your tailor and your dry cleaner busy, and spring for posh, touchable fabrics like cashmere, suede, pima cotton, and brushed corduroy.

26%
2. Handsome Face
The science of attraction, which has been studied ad infinitum, says it's all about symmetry. Imagine you have a dotted red line (Nip/Tuck style) vertically through the center of your face, down your nose. Are your features similar in form and arrangement on both sides of the line? Do your eyes and ears match up? The closer one side mirrors the other, the more attractive you are. Women in cross-cultural studies have also ranked men with broad chins, high cheekbones, and large eyes as the most attractive. Best way to improve your looks: Smile more, and make certain your sideburns are even.

15%
3. Height
Tall, dark, and handsome isn't the be-all and end-all. Women say they like feeling smaller than their men, but height doesn't necessarily mean might. They will feel comfortable as long as they aren't towering over you.

13%
4. Muscular Build*
Spend more time with the bathroom mirror and less time with the gym mirror. Nearly three times as many women value a clean-shaven face over the clean and jerk. Muscles help ward off rivals and assure a woman that you won't drop her during a dip, but your overall appearance is more important than the size of your biceps.

12%
5. Fitness
Women recognize a good body as indicative of a man of discipline and self-control. It tells a woman you can keep up with her, in bed and out.


How to deal with an unrepentant spouse: an Irish person can tell a person to go to hell and have them so excited at the prospect they demand to know when, where the train is leaving and how to get a ticket. Then offer them a loan to get the ticket and a ride to the train station. Be Irish
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post #2 of 48 (permalink) Old 10-28-2016, 03:29 PM Thread Starter
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re: Hi, why do these Top twenty traits matter to woman?

How do I fix the misspelling of twenty in title?

How to deal with an unrepentant spouse: an Irish person can tell a person to go to hell and have them so excited at the prospect they demand to know when, where the train is leaving and how to get a ticket. Then offer them a loan to get the ticket and a ride to the train station. Be Irish
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post #3 of 48 (permalink) Old 10-28-2016, 03:43 PM
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re: Hi, why do these Top twenty traits matter to woman?

From what I have experienced, I think that there is a big difference in which male traits that women say they want versus what they actually want.
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post #4 of 48 (permalink) Old 10-28-2016, 03:50 PM
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re: Hi, why do these Top twenty traits matter to woman?

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Originally Posted by JohnA View Post
21% 5. Earning Potential
One in five women surveyed said a man's successfulness in his career contributes to his sexiness. If you've demonstrated talent, goal achievement, and follow-through, you give women confidence that you will be a good provider.
Add 50% to this and I would believe it.
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post #5 of 48 (permalink) Old 10-28-2016, 04:07 PM Thread Starter
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re: Hi, why do these Top twenty traits matter to woman?

My question is along the lines of features vs benefits and is addressed to a woman's perspective and only a woman's hence the thread in the ladies section and not the men's. In short what do these features mean to a woman.

Rockon, for example a higher income may simply mean the ability to sustain a home to raise children in a safe secure environment. What is wrong with that?

How to deal with an unrepentant spouse: an Irish person can tell a person to go to hell and have them so excited at the prospect they demand to know when, where the train is leaving and how to get a ticket. Then offer them a loan to get the ticket and a ride to the train station. Be Irish
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post #6 of 48 (permalink) Old 10-28-2016, 04:29 PM
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re: Hi, why do these Top twenty traits matter to woman?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Steve1000 View Post
From what I have experienced, I think that there is a big difference in which male traits that women say they want versus what they actually want.
That's the problem with these kind of surveys. The people answering may even believe what they're saying. But the real truth can only be seen by measuring their actions.
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post #7 of 48 (permalink) Old 10-28-2016, 04:36 PM
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re: Hi, why do these Top twenty traits matter to woman?

@JohnA Clearly you need to ask MEN what women want. Go ahead TAM guys.....explain to this other man why these traits matter to us, or why the data is flawed, or why we don't know ourselves what we want, or offer anecdotal nonsense. You already have several answers from men. More will undoubtedly chime in. Which is good because obviously we women need men to tell us what we want.

Remember the goal of feminism: Making sure only alphas get laid!
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post #8 of 48 (permalink) Old 10-28-2016, 05:01 PM Thread Starter
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re: Hi, why do these Top twenty traits matter to woman?

@Faithful Wife. Yes the blind leading the blind, care to lead? So, I buy a 600 house power car. But what does it get me? To the hospital with a hurt friend ?

How to deal with an unrepentant spouse: an Irish person can tell a person to go to hell and have them so excited at the prospect they demand to know when, where the train is leaving and how to get a ticket. Then offer them a loan to get the ticket and a ride to the train station. Be Irish
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post #9 of 48 (permalink) Old 10-28-2016, 05:07 PM
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re: Hi, why do these Top twenty traits matter to woman?

Nothing like taking a giant whiz on the third rail of TAM. I'll read but think sitting this one out is in my future.

Other threads that addressed, meandered, fell into, jumped the tracks into..this very subject ended pretty poorly. A question I never got around to was, "are we talking about dating / having fun material or is it addressing what one would look for in a long term relationship?" "Do the answers change if never married vs married.?" Same as previous but throw in an age difference , say 25 vs 50. Does this make a persons answers different?

I have been separated for a while now and considering life after marriage. If someone asked me what I was looking for 20+ years ago when I met my wife the answer would be vastly different than today. And the answer might change again after some time.

Is this relevant to the conversation? If time and circumstance can easily shift answers then we are probably wasting tons of time attacking or defending a non definitive poll.

Have fun.

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post #10 of 48 (permalink) Old 10-28-2016, 05:20 PM
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re: Hi, why do these Top twenty traits matter to woman?

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Originally Posted by JohnA View Post
@Faithful Wife. Yes the blind leading the blind, care to lead? So, I buy a 600 house power car. But what does it get me? To the hospital with a hurt friend ?
I don't understand the car reference, please explain.

As for leading the blind....

Are you asking us as individual women to comment on the 20 traits listed in your OP? Or are you asking us to speculate why women as a whole would have picked these traits?

If it is the former, I'd be happy to answer and speak for myself. If I do so, I'd be even happier if no person here would then suggest that I don't know myself or my own answers, or that I am lying, delusional, or ignorant about what I actually do prefer.

If it is the latter, the author of the material you have quoted seems to have made their own conclusions about why women would pick these traits. Do you want us to expand further on what they said? Or provide our own hypothesis?


Remember the goal of feminism: Making sure only alphas get laid!
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post #11 of 48 (permalink) Old 10-28-2016, 05:28 PM
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re: Hi, why do these Top twenty traits matter to woman?

Common sense to me. Women want a tall, strong man that makes $$$ so they can feel secure. If I was a woman, I'd want the same thing.
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post #12 of 48 (permalink) Old 10-28-2016, 05:36 PM
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re: Hi, why do these Top twenty traits matter to woman?

Quote:
Originally Posted by JohnA View Post
My responses are in PURPLE ....
Top 5 Character Traits

84%p
1. Faithfulness Yes of course this is high on the list
More than 8 out of 10 women rated "faithful to me" in the top 10 attributes they find sexy in a man. A woman's tendency toward attachment is a biological imperative, a matter of raising offspring right. Reassure her (often) that you're not going anywhere.

75%
2. Dependability Yes of course also high on the list
Three out of four women say they look for a man who makes commitments and follows through. Being responsible—even if it's just remembering to pick up salad dressing on your way over to her place—sends a positive signal that someday you might commit.

67%
3. Kindness Yes still high on the list
Young women may still fall for the bad-boy type, but more-mature women are turned on by kindness, because kindness inspires confidence. In other words, if you treat the waitress well, your date figures you'll treat her well, too.

66%
4. Moral Integrity This one to me is too varied to comment...my morals are not the same as everyone's so what I would seek is compatible morals...too loose to be defined so I would not put this on my list
Having the guts to tell the truth means to a woman that you have the guts to be a good, caring, decent partner over the long haul. White lies are okay; just avoid any that are tinged with gray.

51%
5. Fatherliness Not really that high on my list though most every guy I've married or dated was a father
Being a good dad (or having the potential to become one) is about being a good role model—and about being patient and caring, qualities women like in a partner. If you're not a father, then tell her about your favorite niece or nephew, or the employee you're mentoring at work.

Top 5 Personality Traits

77%
1. Sense of Humor Yes very high on the list...I have a quirky sense of humor so not everyone who is funny can make me laugh, it is a very individual thing. I'm not sure this tells me it means a man can easily handle difficulties though. I think it just more shows compatibility because we get each other's humor.
Being able to laugh at the stresses of this world is a must, according to the women on our panel. You get bonus points if you can make them laugh. Humor tells a woman that you can laugh at—read, handle easily—the many difficulties that life throws at you.

55%
2. Intelligence Yes very high on the list, but I have no clue what the IQ is of any man I've ever been with, nor do I know my own. Just seems that people of roughly equal IQ get along better.
A worldy, interesting man is a man she likes to show off. Men who are take-charge problem solvers make women feel secure, and men who are always improving are never boring.

46%
3. Passion This would be higher for my list, though the passion doesn't have to be like a rock star...I don't care if they appear passionate to the rest of the world...I just want them passionate in the bedroom.
Why have women always melted for musicians? Because rock stars are passionate in public. Women like displays of passion because they're not accustomed to seeing them from men. Get passionate about something: kayaking, impressionistic art, barbecuing, or Habitat for Humanity. It's proof that you care for and about something beyond yourself.

41%
4. Confidence Yes high on the list but lower than passion.
A man who feels secure in his own skin makes the woman he's with feel secure. By showing you can handle unfamiliar people or situations, you tell the woman in your life that she need not fear, either.

38%
5. Generosity Pretty low on my list, I don't have any expectations that a man give me anything in the monetary sense, so if that's what they mean by generosity, I don't really know. I definitely want the time and attention but don't care about the dollars.
This is more important to women over 35 than it is to those under that age. Generosity, however, doesn't just mean springing for dinner at a four-star. Your willingness to give your time and lend your ear is what women crave.

Top 5 Practical Skills

53%
1. Listening Yes very high on my list.
Pay attention. A woman feels safe and secure when she knows her man will put down his BlackBerry and listen to her. Magic words: "I'm here. Tell me everything."

48%
2. Romancing Also high on my list but very individual and specific. Some men may think XYZ is romantic but I only think ABC is romantic. Compatibility still more important on this one.
Romance appeals to a woman's right-brained, less-logical side. Every woman fantasizes about being swept off her feet. Romance is bold because you're displaying your desire for a woman and revealing a softer, more vulnerable side that women find irresistible.


35%
3. Being Good in Bed Would be at the top of my list.
It's not just the orgasms. A woman knows that a man who takes care of her in bed will take care of her out of bed. (Of course, the orgasms don't hurt.) Your enthusiasm for her body is more important than your sexual prowess.

23%
4. Cooking, Cleaning, etc. Would be at the bottom of my list, but only if assuming some minimum threshold of hygiene and cleanliness was already met.
Self-sufficiency means you're not going to expect her to be like your mother. Learn how to make one or two killer breakfasts or dinners, and you'll win her heart.

21%
5. Earning Potential Important but not very high on the list. I just want someone who can afford to travel with me, basically.
One in five women surveyed said a man's successfulness in his career contributes to his sexiness. If you've demonstrated talent, goal achievement, and follow-through, you give women confidence that you will be a good provider.

Top 5 Physical Attributes

30%
1. Sense of Style Yes very high on my list.
The way you dress reflects on the woman you're with, and she knows it. The man who knows how to match a patterned shirt and tie will notice when she's dressed well, too. (And maybe he'll pay for the Blahniks.) Keep your tailor and your dry cleaner busy, and spring for posh, touchable fabrics like cashmere, suede, pima cotton, and brushed corduroy.

26%
2. Handsome Face Also very high on my list.
The science of attraction, which has been studied ad infinitum, says it's all about symmetry. Imagine you have a dotted red line (Nip/Tuck style) vertically through the center of your face, down your nose. Are your features similar in form and arrangement on both sides of the line? Do your eyes and ears match up? The closer one side mirrors the other, the more attractive you are. Women in cross-cultural studies have also ranked men with broad chins, high cheekbones, and large eyes as the most attractive. Best way to improve your looks: Smile more, and make certain your sideburns are even.

15%
3. Height Yes very high on my list. I don't know why the author tried to white wash this one and down play it. "Will feel comfortable as long as I am not towering over you?" Um no, I just like tall guys, ok? It isn't complicated.
Tall, dark, and handsome isn't the be-all and end-all. Women say they like feeling smaller than their men, but height doesn't necessarily mean might. They will feel comfortable as long as they aren't towering over you.

13%
4. Muscular Build* Very high on my list. Why did the author bring up the clean shaven face below? Weird.
Spend more time with the bathroom mirror and less time with the gym mirror. Nearly three times as many women value a clean-shaven face over the clean and jerk. Muscles help ward off rivals and assure a woman that you won't drop her during a dip, but your overall appearance is more important than the size of your biceps.

12%
5. Fitness Yes very high on my list as I am an athlete and very fit.
Women recognize a good body as indicative of a man of discipline and self-control. It tells a woman you can keep up with her, in bed and out.

Remember the goal of feminism: Making sure only alphas get laid!
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post #13 of 48 (permalink) Old 10-28-2016, 05:37 PM
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re: Hi, why do these Top twenty traits matter to woman?

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Common sense to me. Women want a tall, strong man that makes $$$ so they can feel secure. If I was a woman, I'd want the same thing.
I agree with your post but disagree about "why". I want a tall, strong, good looking, fit man that makes (enough) $$ (to travel with me) so that I can feel ATTRACTION to him. The secure thing....that may or may not be there.

Remember the goal of feminism: Making sure only alphas get laid!
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post #14 of 48 (permalink) Old 10-28-2016, 07:42 PM Thread Starter
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re: Hi, why do these Top twenty traits matter to woman?

@Faithful Wife,

Actually I hope for the personal and general viewpoint of woman of how each of these points add value to your life. Your response to my car question actually shows why I ask. To the guy it may represent something that causes woman to take a second look, to increase his dating value. Huh? How the hell does this help that ? Why would he think that??? Exactly !

As to the authors I don't know if they explained the why and don't care. I want to know what you and other woman think. And every individual answer and ranking will spark discussion - that is what I hope for. So, yea file it under clueless looking for a clue or just clueless looking for land mines.

Be well, be whole.

How to deal with an unrepentant spouse: an Irish person can tell a person to go to hell and have them so excited at the prospect they demand to know when, where the train is leaving and how to get a ticket. Then offer them a loan to get the ticket and a ride to the train station. Be Irish
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post #15 of 48 (permalink) Old 10-28-2016, 07:46 PM
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re: Hi, why do these Top twenty traits matter to woman?

Faithful Wife wants a perfect guy. Go figure.
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