im in literally the exact same situation. weight and all! lol. it totally sucks. and we had no control over gaining it because of the pregnancy! i hope you can either be happy now or loss it!
your only supost to gain 12-25 lbs during the average pregenacy
your not eating for 2. eat healthy and after the baby it will come off easy.
but whatever excuse works for being over weight as long as its not poor self control.
12-25 pounds weight gain during the average pregnancy??? Where on earth did you come up with these numbers?? The american college of obstetricians say the average weight gain depends on several factors including their height and pre-pregnancy weight well as the mothers age. They say the amount she will gain also depends if she is under,normal, or overweight prior to conception. The A.C.O.O's guidelines are as follows: average of 35lbs weight gain if she is underweight prior to conception, 25-40lbs weight gain for women who are "normal" weight prior, and only 15-20lbs weight gain for women who are overweight. If you average those numbers across the board, then the true average a woman will gain is 28.3333 pounds which is 3 lbs above your high end number. And here is where the weight is distributed:
Baby - At birth your baby may weigh between 6-8 pounds.
Uterus - The uterus expands during pregnancy 40x its normal size and may weigh 4 pounds.
Placenta - The placenta, vital for nourishing your baby, generally weighs 2.5 pounds.
Breasts - Breast tissue often grows during pregnancy, and may weigh up to 2.5 to 5 pounds.
Blood Volume - Your blood volume will increase during pregnancy 7.5 pounds.
Fluid - Your body will retain some fluid during pregnancy, as much as 6 pounds!
Amniotic Fluid - The fluid surrounding your baby will weigh approximately 3.5 pounds.
Maternal Fat Stores and Nutrients - You will also gain about 9 pounds of weight that can be attributed to maternal fat and nutrient stores as well as muscle development.
Most women will add on some fat to store for the baby, which is vital to support energy and breastfeeding. These pounds generally come off relatively easily after birth, so don't waste time stressing out about them during your pregnancy! Pregnancy is not the time to diet!
This is 45.5lbs on the high end and 32lbs on the low end for the "average pregnancy"
Not her pigging out or "eating for 2"
My wife is 5'7, weighed 140lbs and was 37y.o prior to conception and was well within "normal" weight range and looked fit, sexy, and beautiful. She did not pig out nor did she diet or try to deprive our son of vital nutrients just so she would be as thin as possible and the day she delivered our healthy beautiful son, she weighed 185lbs.
And you know what? with her motherly pregnancy glow and all the new curves and belly carrying our precious cargo was just as if not more beautiful and sexy to me as she ever has been.
12-25 pounds weight gain during the average pregnancy??? Where on earth did you come up with these numbers?? The american college of obstetricians say the average weight gain depends on several factors including their height and pre-pregnancy weight well as the mothers age. They say the amount she will gain also depends if she is under,normal, or overweight prior to conception. The A.C.O.O's guidelines are as follows: average of 35lbs weight gain if she is underweight prior to conception, 25-40lbs weight gain for women who are "normal" weight prior, and only 15-20lbs weight gain for women who are overweight. If you average those numbers across the board, then the true average a woman will gain is 28.3333 pounds which is 3 lbs above your high end number. And here is where the weight is distributed:
Baby - At birth your baby may weigh between 6-8 pounds.
Uterus - The uterus expands during pregnancy 40x its normal size and may weigh 4 pounds.
Placenta - The placenta, vital for nourishing your baby, generally weighs 2.5 pounds.
Breasts - Breast tissue often grows during pregnancy, and may weigh up to 2.5 to 5 pounds.
Blood Volume - Your blood volume will increase during pregnancy 7.5 pounds.
Fluid - Your body will retain some fluid during pregnancy, as much as 6 pounds!
Amniotic Fluid - The fluid surrounding your baby will weigh approximately 3.5 pounds.
Maternal Fat Stores and Nutrients - You will also gain about 9 pounds of weight that can be attributed to maternal fat and nutrient stores as well as muscle development.
Most women will add on some fat to store for the baby, which is vital to support energy and breastfeeding. These pounds generally come off relatively easily after birth, so don't waste time stressing out about them during your pregnancy! Pregnancy is not the time to diet!
This is 45.5lbs on the high end and 32lbs on the low end for the "average pregnancy"
Not her pigging out or "eating for 2"
My wife is 5'7, weighed 140lbs and was 37y.o prior to conception and was well within "normal" weight range and looked fit, sexy, and beautiful. She did not pig out nor did she diet or try to deprive our son of vital nutrients just so she would be as thin as possible and the day she delivered our healthy beautiful son, she weighed 185lbs.
And you know what? with her motherly pregnancy glow and all the new curves and belly carrying our precious cargo was just as if not more beautiful and sexy to me as she ever has been.
It's funny you say that. I've always had the opinion that my wife, as well as other women, are at their most beautiful point in their lives when they're pregnant. That baby bump curve, and the glow they get is absolutely stunning to me. Tack onto that the new "curves" like larger breasts and hips (I love some amazing hips on a woman) and you've got the makings of one of the most beautiful creatures on this planet. My wife was always small, only about 5'0 and 100lbs and the hips and curves she gained when she had our children still drive me nuts when I look at her, and we're separated right now! You're 100% correct. Women are most beautiful when they're pregnant! Agree wholeheartedly!
Absolutely troubled husbnd! I have so much awe and respect for what women go thru to bring children into the world. And my wife is so so awesome. She had 3 months maternity leave, and as i said, she was 185 the day she delivered our son. She went back to work exactly 3 months later and weighed 155lbs. and 6 weeks later, she was back to her pre-pregnancy weight of 140lbs. There is so much more to love about your wife other than a specific body type. I love and cherish that the smell of my wife makes me feel like i am home. She is the best mother and wife any one could ever hope for. I dont understand flaming your wife for gaining 30lbs and putting her down because of the amount of income she makes. That is not love. Not even close. I truly believe the op just wants out but doesnt have the sack to be honest and just leave. I would never in a million years disrespect my wife like that! I would happily lay my life down and spend eternity in hell to protect my wife and son from any hurt or physical danger. I do love her unconditionally and am not ashamed to admit it. I thank the lord every day for blessing us with such a wonderful, healthy son and such a precious wife. The bible says a virtuous wife if you are lucky enough to find, her price is far more valuable than rubies. That is so true.
I know a guy who was trying to talk his girlfriend into going camping with him but she wasn't coming around. He ended up buying her a sleeping bag as a gift for her birthday.
Absolutely troubled husbnd! I have so much awe and respect for what women go thru to bring children into the world. And my wife is so so awesome. She had 3 months maternity leave, and as i said, she was 185 the day she delivered our son. She went back to work exactly 3 months later and weighed 155lbs. and 6 weeks later, she was back to her pre-pregnancy weight of 140lbs. There is so much more to love about your wife other than a specific body type. I love and cherish that the smell of my wife makes me feel like i am home. She is the best mother and wife any one could ever hope for. I dont understand flaming your wife for gaining 30lbs and putting her down because of the amount of income she makes. That is not love. Not even close. I truly believe the op just wants out but doesnt have the sack to be honest and just leave. I would never in a million years disrespect my wife like that! I would happily lay my life down and spend eternity in hell to protect my wife and son from any hurt or physical danger. I do love her unconditionally and am not ashamed to admit it. I thank the lord every day for blessing us with such a wonderful, healthy son and such a precious wife. The bible says a virtuous wife if you are lucky enough to find, her price is far more valuable than rubies. That is so true.
I love my wife unconditionally, but have had trouble showing it the last few years. I let alcohol control parts of my life, as well as let my anger/temper/nasty side get the best of me, which in turn has put me in a position to lose everything I ever cared about. I'm here because I'm looking for help and guidance in trying to rebuild my relationship and reconcile with my wife that I've put through hell over the past few years with the way I've treated her. For someone I care so much about I can't believe I acted the way I did... I'm completely and totally disgusted with my behavior. I'm turning it all around, though! Hopefully she can see that and we can make this work. You hit the nail on the head, though. Love and respect. I love my wife with everything, but I've been extremely disrespectful to her, and it's cost me big-time. Time to turn it all around!
Has anyone ever been to a museum where beautiful paintings of robust women fill the halls? Those women were admired back in the day as they were considered to be of good standing, and the ones who were thin, were considered poor and undesirable.
I wonder what happened over the course of time to have such a change in the way women are portrayed? We are to stay fit and trim, wear high heals and makeup, short sexy attire, even get botox, liposuction, boob jobs to satisfy what??????
I really do have to scratch my head and wonder why we have gone down such a path. Thank you Hollywood!
Has anyone ever been to a museum where beautiful paintings of robust women fill the halls? Those women were admired back in the day as they were considered to be of good standing, and the ones who were thin, were considered poor and undesirable.
I wonder what happened over the course of time to have such a change in the way women are portrayed? We are to stay fit and trim, wear high heals and makeup, short sexy attire, even get botox, liposuction, boob jobs to satisfy what??????
I really do have to scratch my head and wonder why we have gone down such a path. Thank you Hollywood!
Well for one thing food is much more easily available nowadays.
Used to be having extra weight was a sign you had money/power because you were able to eat well while the average person wasn`t.
It's totally ok for you to feel the way you do about her weight gain. When my husband and I met, I was a part-time model. Over the course of 5 years, I packed on about 30 unattractive pounds. Then I had two kids and was left with a big fat body. Well, my husband did the usual "No you're fine. You had kids." blah blah blah. One day he snapped and told me I was disgusting and this is not what he signed up for. Sure i wanted to die a little but it got my big fat butt in gear. He since apologized and did everything he could to help me lose my weight (took me 4 months btw...now that's what a fire under your ass can do!). In the end, I lost the weight and am a curvier version of my younger self. If my husband isn't attacking me, he's staring from across the room, or asking me for pics thru text. lol! Most importantly, our sex life is spank-tac-ular now. Ladies, don't judge. Men and women need different things from their spouses and a tiny waist is one of them. Good luck!
I think you're mixing some issues up. Certainly one could want the wife of before to lose a few pounds. Bringing it up occasionally I think is fair though I am sure some women would disagree.
That said, mixing this up and saying you can't have a decent sex life is mean. Imagine a woman saying her husband had a paycut, and she was no longer attracted to him. Sex can be very good. Trying to punish your wife, constantly criticizing her is not going to make her lose weight, it will just screw her up and you too.
Quote:
Originally Posted by DisappointedHusband
Ladies/Wives maybe you can help me get my mind around a wife of 8.5 years gaining 30lbs in all the wrong places (belly). My wife, two years older than me (32), had always been short and petite, but around the 4 year mark of our relationship, the weight gained started.
I'm not trying to be inconsiderate, but I'm simply no longer sexually attracted to her and has contributed to sex about 1.5/month.
Initially, the weight gained started with a depression that onset after her not being able to find employment that would both satisfied her need for accomplishment and contribution to the family finances. I can understand the onset of weight gained due to this or whatever it may have been, but I see no effort to loose it and it is always a sore topic of discussion, so we never address the elephant (her at this point) in the room and it carries over into other areas of the relationship.
Just a note, she has a job (low paying), but not pertaining to her degree or her passion, so she definitely still has a void.
I guess what I am looking for is the magic key that will get her proactive about her weight and want to look sexy and cute for me again.
I guess it's only fair to mention she did have twin girls almost two years ago, but the issue started well before the birth of our girls. I would say 25lbs of the 30lbs was before the birth.
I've tried gym passes, transforming spare bedroom into home gym, diet pills and supplements, outdoor activities, getting myself in better shape to induce a want to look better too, but she never has time to fit exercise or diet controls into her daily schedule. She is a clean-a-holic by the way, but as much as she is always running around the house cleaning (I clean too), it does nothing to assist in her weight loss. Another note: she has developed chicken legs, her only weight gain is in her belly and back. Basically the gain of weight is not proportionately placed.
She looks just like her mother, but her mother is more active and in better shape than her, lol.
Not to sound crude, but I can no longer look at her without clothes on.
bobby, im not sure the paycut example is apples to apples. if a poster came on here and complained that her husband had stopped showering and shaving, i wonder what the responses would be
Personally, I think it's infantile to lose your desire for your wife because she's put on some weight. (No offense to the OP intended)
My thoughts run more along the "Love is a verb" philosophy promoted by Stephen Covey
But I think Catherine makes a valid observation above and would add that if it's reasonable to expect the husband to "Become a better man" to recapture his wife's sexual desire, (And the consensus on TAM appears to be that it is) then it is inconsistent at best to deny the direct corollary when the shoe is on the other foot.
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Re: You Weighed 105lbs When I Met You... 
You're 100% correct. Women are most beautiful when they're pregnant! Agree wholeheartedly! 
