Men Get Upper Hand at Age 26 or 27?
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Old 12-05-2011, 05:26 AM   #1 (permalink)
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Default Men Get Upper Hand at Age 26 or 27?

Hi ladies! Sorry if this post is a bit disjointed but I hate leaving really long posts.

What brought me here actually has me feeling a little blue. About 1 year ago I broke up with my boyfriend. I had dated him for 4 years, hoping he would get his act together and propose to me.

He did neither.

In the meantime I dated no-one. Then, just recently, I came across an article that has me worried about my future. It reveals some statistic a dating site has calculated about its own users habits. I turned 30 this year so you can imagine how I felt reading it.

Some excerpts:

Quote:
No matter what he's telling himself on his setting page, a 30 year-old man spends as much time messaging 18 and 19 year-olds as he does women his own age. On the other hand, women only a few years older are largely neglected.
And this:

Quote:
we can see that women have more pursuers than men until age 26, but thereafter a man can expect many more potential dates than a woman of the same age. At the graph's outer edge, at age 48, men are nearly twice as sought-after as women
The Case For An Older Woman « OkTrends

I was hoping these statistics were erroneous - being calculated by someone inept in this department. But I then found out they were done by Harvard mathematicians. To make matters worse, I found this document which seems to confirm the matter:

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I know I left marriage late, but my fear now is that the best men are accounted for, and the remainder consist of men with no intention of marriage or children and, without wanting to be mean, men who are single for a reason.

What do you think ladies? I sad. Please console.
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Old 12-05-2011, 06:50 AM   #2 (permalink)
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Default Re: Men Get Upper Hand at Age 26 or 27?

DeadlyNightshade.

Suggestion: Do not be a statistic. There are plenty of good men out there that are not surfing the net for 19 year olds.

Do not look at it as the upper hand lower hand. That is just an excuse for failure. If you have something to bring to the relationship table you have nothing to worry about.
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Old 12-05-2011, 08:18 AM   #3 (permalink)
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Default Re: Men Get Upper Hand at Age 26 or 27?

I know you are right, gonefishin. I don't know where I'm going to meet them because the guys I meet the few times I went clubbing had a one-track mind. I guess I could try internet dating. This is weird for me because my past relationships started after guys approached me. Now have to be the active party, too, I suppose.
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Old 12-05-2011, 08:32 AM   #4 (permalink)
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Default Re: Men Get Upper Hand at Age 26 or 27?

DNS, I ventured into the ladies lounge because your thread was at the top... I want to assure you, as a 35 year old about-to-be-divorced man, I would not consider dating 18 or 19 year olds, my preferred age group is your exact age.

So how you doin'

also hint: "don't know where I'm going to meet them because the guys I meet the few times I went clubbing had a one-track mind" yep the guys at clubs are looking for ONS with 18 and 19 year olds. There are infinite other places to meet people, its just always quite so obvious as at the club. As to being "active" just stand there, look pretty, smile even, and when the guys try to get your attention don't give them attitude - you may attract some creepers, but don't group all the guys as creepers because there are some hidden gems in there.
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Old 12-05-2011, 09:02 AM   #5 (permalink)
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Default Re: Men Get Upper Hand at Age 26 or 27?

My experience is that good men don't want to babysit or go clubbing. Look at other places besides bars for guys, a few ideas: try joining hobby clubs, visit libraries or bookstores, finding single clubs through churches or other organizations.
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Old 12-05-2011, 10:23 AM   #6 (permalink)
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Default Re: Men Get Upper Hand at Age 26 or 27?

My advice is:

1. Stop reading things on the net that make you a statistic. Seriously, stop it!

2. Please do not see internet dating as a real option for finding a partner - don't be life-lazy, instead get out and get busy living real life; do the things you enjoy doing - whatever that is....if you have hobbies or interests, become better at those, sing up for classes, join a group of others who share the same interests.

3. Honestly, don't worry so much about finding a partner, he'll come when you are ready. While you are waiting (and becoming ready) get out and have fun with life.

4. Psssst....the secret to being "ready" is: before you can be truly happy with another person you have to learn to become truly happy being alone on your own. I'm 50 years old, I was 40 before I learned that secret....you've got ten years on me - use it to your advantage!

I found this video on Youtube today. It's called "How To Be Alone".....it's really cool, almost makes me want to be single again so I can do it.
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Old 12-05-2011, 11:26 AM   #7 (permalink)
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Default Re: Men Get Upper Hand at Age 26 or 27?

Quote:
Originally Posted by surfergirl View Post
My advice is:

1. Stop reading things on the net that make you a statistic. Seriously, stop it!

2. Please do not see internet dating as a real option for finding a partner - don't be life-lazy, instead get out and get busy living real life; do the things you enjoy doing - whatever that is....if you have hobbies or interests, become better at those, sing up for classes, join a group of others who share the same interests.

3. Honestly, don't worry so much about finding a partner, he'll come when you are ready. While you are waiting (and becoming ready) get out and have fun with life.

4. Psssst....the secret to being "ready" is: before you can be truly happy with another person you have to learn to become truly happy being alone on your own. I'm 50 years old, I was 40 before I learned that secret....you've got ten years on me - use it to your advantage!

I found this video on Youtube today. It's called "How To Be Alone".....it's really cool, almost makes me want to be single again so I can do it.
total agreement gurl ....peace
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Old 12-05-2011, 12:41 PM   #8 (permalink)
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Default Re: Men Get Upper Hand at Age 26 or 27?

Quote:
Originally Posted by surfergirl View Post
My advice is:

1. Stop reading things on the net that make you a statistic. Seriously, stop it!

2. Please do not see internet dating as a real option for finding a partner - don't be life-lazy, instead get out and get busy living real life; do the things you enjoy doing - whatever that is....if you have hobbies or interests, become better at those, sing up for classes, join a group of others who share the same interests.

3. Honestly, don't worry so much about finding a partner, he'll come when you are ready. While you are waiting (and becoming ready) get out and have fun with life.

4. Psssst....the secret to being "ready" is: before you can be truly happy with another person you have to learn to become truly happy being alone on your own. I'm 50 years old, I was 40 before I learned that secret....you've got ten years on me - use it to your advantage!

I found this video on Youtube today. It's called "How To Be Alone".....it's really cool, almost makes me want to be single again so I can do it.


I am 7 years older than my awesome husband. It never mattered to us
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Old 12-05-2011, 10:56 PM   #9 (permalink)
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Default Re: Men Get Upper Hand at Age 26 or 27?

Quote:
Originally Posted by surfergirl View Post
My advice is:

1. Stop reading things on the net that make you a statistic. Seriously, stop it!

2. Please do not see internet dating as a real option for finding a partner - don't be life-lazy, instead get out and get busy living real life; do the things you enjoy doing - whatever that is....if you have hobbies or interests, become better at those, sing up for classes, join a group of others who share the same interests.

3. Honestly, don't worry so much about finding a partner, he'll come when you are ready. While you are waiting (and becoming ready) get out and have fun with life.

4. Psssst....the secret to being "ready" is: before you can be truly happy with another person you have to learn to become truly happy being alone on your own. I'm 50 years old, I was 40 before I learned that secret....you've got ten years on me - use it to your advantage!

I found this video on Youtube today. It's called "How To Be Alone".....it's really cool, almost makes me want to be single again so I can do it.

I met my husband once I stopped looking.
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Old 12-05-2011, 11:18 PM   #10 (permalink)
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Default Re: Men Get Upper Hand at Age 26 or 27?

Quote:
Originally Posted by FirstYearDown View Post

I met my husband once I stopped looking.
Me too! I stopped givin' a crap and BAM! there he was
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Old 12-06-2011, 07:33 AM   #11 (permalink)
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Default Re: Men Get Upper Hand at Age 26 or 27?

Thanks for the advice, everyone!

It is good to know that not all guys are as age-obsessed as the article makes out

Even though the advice to stop worrying about finding someone is probably good advice, I know I kick myself for doing nothing if I wind up single and childless in my post child-bearing years.

I'll take your suggestions to heart and figure something out
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Old 12-06-2011, 10:02 AM   #12 (permalink)
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Default Re: Men Get Upper Hand at Age 26 or 27?

"We can see that women have more pursuers than men until age 26, but thereafter a man can expect many more potential dates than a woman of the same age. At the graph's outer edge, at age 48, men are nearly twice as sought-after as women"

Older men are sought after by younger women, because men that age are established in their careers and make a good living and can financially support a younger woman. Not all men, but some.

Also, men that age are tired of their same-aged wives and want some eye-candy on their arm, and in their bed.
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Old 12-06-2011, 10:03 AM   #13 (permalink)
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Default Re: Men Get Upper Hand at Age 26 or 27?

Quote:
Originally Posted by DeadlyNightshade View Post
I'll take your suggestions to heart and figure something out
All you need to do is stop obsessing over this and take good care of yourself. Love yourself. The rest will fall into place.
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