Does your husband *not* care about your weight? - Page 5 - Talk About Marriage
The Ladies' Lounge Sharing and support.

User Tag List

 112Likes
Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools Search this Thread
post #61 of 101 (permalink) Old 12-20-2016, 08:29 PM
Forum Supporter
 
arbitrator's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: Central Texas/Brazos Valley
Posts: 11,688
Cool Re: Does your husband *not* care about your weight?

As a spouse, I would absolutely love my W's heart, soul, and body for what it is!

Having said that, whenever I greatly felt that my spouses maintenance as well as the physical appearance of their body began to imperil their health, such as obesity or a rise in cholesterol or any other negative health factor, then that is where I would have to put my foot down!

And conversely, if I did the very same thing to imperil my own health and well being, I would pray that my spouse would have both the gumption and the assertiveness to lovingly tell me about it!

That's exactly what a loving, caring marriage is supposed to be all about!



"To love another person is to see the face of God!" - Jean Valjean from Les Miserables

My Story!
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
arbitrator is online now  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
post #62 of 101 (permalink) Old 12-20-2016, 08:50 PM
Member
 
*Deidre*'s Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2016
Posts: 3,178
Re: Does your husband *not* care about your weight?

My fiance and I are very attracted to each other physically, and both of us are into working out/eating clean, but I'd like to believe that if I were to ever gain maybe 20 lbs or something in our marriage, he'd still be attracted to me. Sometimes I see couples, the husband is super fit, and the wife is very over weight, or the other way around, and they both look disconnected...the husband walking far ahead of the wife, etc. I can't help but think that if one person is really into fitness, and the other is very unhealthy and overweight, it has to affect the relationship.

Every now and then, you fall in love with the most unexpected person at the most unexpected time. - unknown

I'm newly married
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
*Deidre* is offline  
post #63 of 101 (permalink) Old 12-20-2016, 09:19 PM
Member
 
TaDor's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2015
Location: USA
Posts: 1,381
Re: Does your husband *not* care about your weight?

For health reasons, we should ALL try to eat better and exercise. Sorry, but men are more picky about weight than women are.
My "wife" hovers around 104lbs. With her build, she gets freaked out when she's 110 or higher. I still don't know how she does it.
Myself, I'm currently 230lbs and about 50lbs over-weight, but I've lost 8 lbs in the past 6 weeks and will continue to do so with the goal of 180lbs.
I feel better, I move better and I am healthier to be that low for our family, our son - I want to last a while.

Supporting those who want to divorce or reconcile. Not every relationship is the same.
TaDor is online now  
 
post #64 of 101 (permalink) Old 12-20-2016, 10:41 PM
Member
 
veganmermaid's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2016
Posts: 45
Re: Does your husband *not* care about your weight?

Color me jealous! I'm 5'2 and usually about 98lb. My husband is very picky - if I dip below 95, I'm too bony; if I stray above 105, he starts watching what I eat.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
veganmermaid is offline  
post #65 of 101 (permalink) Old 12-20-2016, 10:51 PM
Member
 
EllaSuaveterre's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2016
Location: USA
Posts: 518
Re: Does your husband *not* care about your weight?

Quote:
Originally Posted by jld View Post
So you don't believe him?
No, I suppose I don't, or at least I don't know either way whether I do. It's never occurred to me to think of it as disbelieving him, or to be in any way hurt over whether he is or isn't lying to me. I don't consider it malicious deception, if it is deception at all. As I said, most men just don't tell their wives they've gotten fat.


To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
EllaSuaveterre is offline  
post #66 of 101 (permalink) Old 12-21-2016, 04:27 AM Thread Starter
jld
Forum Supporter
 
Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: USA
Posts: 20,471
Re: Does your husband *not* care about your weight?

Quote:
Originally Posted by EllaSuaveterre View Post
No, I suppose I don't, or at least I don't know either way whether I do. It's never occurred to me to think of it as disbelieving him, or to be in any way hurt over whether he is or isn't lying to me. I don't consider it malicious deception, if it is deception at all. As I said, most men just don't tell their wives they've gotten fat.
I think you mentioned in one of your threads that you have had an eating disorder? If that is the case, you may have disordered perceptions of your body, and how other people, including your husband, see it. That could be depriving you of peace and contentment with your body, and trust in your husband.

Also, is it possible that you and your husband just have low sex drives? If you are both are naturally low drive people, you are just low drive people. There is nothing wrong with that, especially if you are both fine with it.

One of the deepest feminine pleasures is when a man stands full, present, and unreactive in the midst of his woman's emotional storms. When he stays present with her, and loves her through the layers of wildness and closure, then she feels his trustability, and she can relax. -- David Deida, The Way of the Superior Man
jld is offline  
post #67 of 101 (permalink) Old 12-21-2016, 04:32 AM Thread Starter
jld
Forum Supporter
 
Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: USA
Posts: 20,471
Re: Does your husband *not* care about your weight?

Quote:
Originally Posted by veganmermaid View Post
Color me jealous! I'm 5'2 and usually about 98lb. My husband is very picky - if I dip below 95, I'm too bony; if I stray above 105, he starts watching what I eat.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
How do you feel about his "pickiness"?

One of the deepest feminine pleasures is when a man stands full, present, and unreactive in the midst of his woman's emotional storms. When he stays present with her, and loves her through the layers of wildness and closure, then she feels his trustability, and she can relax. -- David Deida, The Way of the Superior Man
jld is offline  
post #68 of 101 (permalink) Old 12-21-2016, 08:17 AM
Member
 
veganmermaid's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2016
Posts: 45
Re: Does your husband *not* care about your weight?

Quote:
Originally Posted by jld View Post
How do you feel about his "pickiness"?


I'm ambivalent about it, I guess. I've had an eating disorder since I was 11 or 12 (it developed in response to trauma) so I would have issues around this subject regardless... it makes it difficult to pursue true recovery, though, because as part of that process generally one overshoots the healthy bmi range when gaining weight / repairing the body / fixing one's relationship with food. It's a powerful demotivator for me, obviously. He's come to therapy / my R.D. appointments and I'm always trying to get him to come see my MD with me.
veganmermaid is offline  
post #69 of 101 (permalink) Old 12-22-2016, 10:42 AM
Banned
 
Join Date: Oct 2016
Posts: 1,456
Re: Does your husband *not* care about your weight?

Quote:
Originally Posted by RichardT View Post
Click this link to find out more: [Commercial link removed]
-Spammer reported-
browser is offline  
post #70 of 101 (permalink) Old 12-23-2016, 06:47 AM
Member
 
thefam's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2014
Posts: 424
Re: Does your husband *not* care about your weight?

Hi @jld !

He says he doesn't. But I don't believe him. I think its impossible for a gym rat/fitness nut to not care about the weight/fitness level of their partner.

He claims he only gets involved because I b*tch and moan about it when I'm overweight. Now on this l-o-n-g journey of weight loss after childbirth.

thefam is offline  
post #71 of 101 (permalink) Old 12-23-2016, 07:07 AM
Member
 
Daisy12's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2016
Posts: 244
Re: Does your husband *not* care about your weight?

I'm 5' 9" and weight 160 pounds, would like to be 150 pounds and am trying to get there. My husband never use to say anything to me about my weight which has been up and down our whole marriage, 4 kids, health issues with multiple surgeries. His sex drive has never changed even when I was heavy, but once he did mention that he was not as attracted to me when I was heavier. That comment has never left me and still bothers me at times, so men be careful about how you bring up the subject of your wife's weight and vice versa for woman with heavy husbands. Words can stay with you forever.
Daisy12 is offline  
post #72 of 101 (permalink) Old 12-23-2016, 07:24 AM Thread Starter
jld
Forum Supporter
 
Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: USA
Posts: 20,471
Re: Does your husband *not* care about your weight?

Quote:
Originally Posted by thefam View Post
Hi @jld !

He says he doesn't. But I don't believe him. I think its impossible for a gym rat/fitness nut to not care about the weight/fitness level of their partner.

He claims he only gets involved because I b*tch and moan about it when I'm overweight. Now on this l-o-n-g journey of weight loss after childbirth.
Hi, tfam!

Why do you not believe him? Has he shown you in any way that his attraction level is lower with the baby weight?

One of the deepest feminine pleasures is when a man stands full, present, and unreactive in the midst of his woman's emotional storms. When he stays present with her, and loves her through the layers of wildness and closure, then she feels his trustability, and she can relax. -- David Deida, The Way of the Superior Man
jld is offline  
post #73 of 101 (permalink) Old 12-23-2016, 07:28 AM
Member
 
Join Date: May 2012
Posts: 5,666
Re: Does your husband *not* care about your weight?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Daisy12 View Post
I'm 5' 9" and weight 160 pounds, would like to be 150 pounds and am trying to get there. My husband never use to say anything to me about my weight which has been up and down our whole marriage, 4 kids, health issues with multiple surgeries. His sex drive has never changed even when I was heavy, but once he did mention that he was not as attracted to me when I was heavier. That comment has never left me and still bothers me at times, so men be careful about how you bring up the subject of your wife's weight and vice versa for woman with heavy husbands. Words can stay with you forever.
For sure they can. Not sure I will ever forget the first time I my wife and I ever hugged...her first words were "Damn, you're scrawny." Still bothers me at times too.

"Let's never stop having sex. We're so good at it, we OWE it to sex to never stop having it."
-My wife
samyeagar is offline  
post #74 of 101 (permalink) Old 12-23-2016, 07:39 AM
Member
 
thefam's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2014
Posts: 424
Re: Does your husband *not* care about your weight?

Quote:
Originally Posted by jld View Post
Hi, tfam!

Why do you not believe him? Has he shown you in any way that his attraction level is lower with the baby weight?
Oh no not at all. But he is extremely HD so not so sure I would notice.

However I just can't see a fit partner not caring if the other is unfit. Not saying he wouldn't love me and continue to treat me well but I think he would still want me to be fit. It happened before I had kids and he was VERY INVOLVED in "helping" me get back on track.
thefam is offline  
post #75 of 101 (permalink) Old 12-23-2016, 07:40 AM Thread Starter
jld
Forum Supporter
 
Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: USA
Posts: 20,471
Re: Does your husband *not* care about your weight?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Daisy12 View Post
I'm 5' 9" and weight 160 pounds, would like to be 150 pounds and am trying to get there. My husband never use to say anything to me about my weight which has been up and down our whole marriage, 4 kids, health issues with multiple surgeries. His sex drive has never changed even when I was heavy, but once he did mention that he was not as attracted to me when I was heavier. That comment has never left me and still bothers me at times, so men be careful about how you bring up the subject of your wife's weight and vice versa for woman with heavy husbands. Words can stay with you forever.
Sometimes it is our interpretation of words that hurts us the most, Daisy. Have you ever thought about bringing up what he said to you, and talking through it now?

One of the deepest feminine pleasures is when a man stands full, present, and unreactive in the midst of his woman's emotional storms. When he stays present with her, and loves her through the layers of wildness and closure, then she feels his trustability, and she can relax. -- David Deida, The Way of the Superior Man
jld is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
Reply

Quick Reply
Message:
Options

Register Now



In order to be able to post messages on Talk About Marriage, you must first register. Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.

Important! Your username will be visible to the public next to anything you post and could show up in search engines like Google. If you are concerned about anonymity, PLEASE choose a username that will not be recognizable to anyone you know.

User Name:
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.

Password:


Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.

Email Address:
OR

Log-in









Human Verification

In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.



Thread Tools Search this Thread
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search



Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Wife's Serious Weight Problem jerrymartin947 Relationships and Addiction 75 06-11-2017 04:50 PM
Wife's Weight Is Killing My Sex Drive Imissmywife Sex in Marriage 125 10-20-2016 08:44 AM
cant lose baby weight quick enough for husband triplelove Sex in Marriage 57 09-28-2016 08:21 PM
Weight gain - post menopausal Luvher4life The Ladies' Lounge 108 04-07-2016 09:57 AM
Really bothered by wifes weight gain. Markstwo General Relationship Discussion 109 12-23-2015 05:37 PM

Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off

 
For the best viewing experience please update your browser to Google Chrome