In order for a woman to be serious about making a life change such as this she has to definitely have an "ah-ha" moment. That ah-ha moment cannot happen if she is constantly put down about her weight. It seems like you are hyper-focused on her changing and making this commitment to exercise. You said yourself that she is making decent nutritional changes..have you tried praising her for that? I find that in order to get my head into my weight routine I have to feel good about myself....I have to feel strong and beautiful. Once I feel strong and beautiful I am driven to become better and stronger. If I were told that my husband was not attracted to me and if he didn't desire me, well, it would diminish my self-esteem, which would make me feel like what is the point in working out?
I personally feel like there are a few things you could do to encourage her. (1) Praise her. Tell her she is beautiful and you are so thankful she's your wife. DO NOT count her workouts, praise her for working out, ect. Accept and praise her as she is. I bet you will begin to see her self-esteem increase and she will want to do better and better to gain your attention. At this point she feels like it is a lost cause. (2) Make plans with her that involve activity. Sign you guys up for a boxing class or a dance class or the Warrior Dash and tell her now you are training because you are going to ROCK IT! (3) Take her out. Tell her to get a nice dress and that you are going to show her off to the world. COmpliment something on her body. Tell her she has sexy legs or a sexy ass. Make her feel like physically she is already sexy. Again, she will want to be sexier.
You cannot brow beat your wife into changing. All you can do is give positive feedback, enhancing her self-esteem. It's possible she doesn't enjoy "working out" and instead doing something active like yoga or dancing might be the thing that keeps her active. Not everyone enjoys the gym.
Sorry I didn't see these replies before I posted my last comment.
Funny you mention this, I should have said something in my OP. I CONSTANTLY am praising her for her eating choices, how pretty she is, how lucky I am to have such a special woman in my life, every compliment in the book. Interesting comment you made, though, you said to NOT praise her for working out? I always do, I always tell her how proud I am for her to have come this far. Compared to years ago, she's leaps and bounds improved, but again, that's ONLY if I am pulling her by the ear to do it. The second I can't be there to make her exercise, she won't do it. Bottom line, her dietary improvements and OCCASIONAL workout has sort of stopped her from gaining excessive weight, but definitely is not LOSING it, and it's been at this state for ~1.5 years now.
Also, yes we do activities like you mentioned, hiking, biking, dancing, walks all the time in our VERY hilly city, we do everything together. Last summer, she joined a health club and was doing a "boot-camp" routine where she was going to rigorous workouts, every other day, and she started SHREDDING pounds. I saw an almost immediate physical difference and could not possibly have praised her more for it. She noticed a huge spike in my general happiness and affection too. Everything was fantastic, I couldn't beleive we finally were seeing light at the end of the tunnel. Just as soon as she started gaining momentum......she quit. She gassed me up with all sorts of promises to join the YMCA, jog 4x a week, all sorts of plans, and has not done a single thing since. That was in the SUMMER, it's now almost spring.