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post #16 of 20 (permalink) Old 02-14-2017, 07:44 PM Thread Starter
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Re: The sad truth

To My Valentine, my Husband,
There is no other like you in the universe . I know the reason that you set such great store in us being special to one another. I see you for the courageous and dedicated man that you have always been. I strive to be that simple, happy person that needs only to be held in your arms. One day we will be that way again and we will be stronger than ever before because of the strength and guidance that you have given to me. On this our 39th Valentine's Day, when our life seems the bleakest, I know than there is hope in our future. A brand new life devoid of resentment and misunderstanding. I love you more than I eve thought possible and realize that what we have is worth fighting for.

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post #17 of 20 (permalink) Old 02-15-2017, 05:33 PM
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Re: The sad truth

if you're here to repair your marriage the first thing you need to do is learn to communicate to your husband about what you want from him and need from him.

Don't tell your husband you fantasize about other men, everybody does to some extent or another. there have been many threads here over the years about the difference between what/who men and women fantasize about. Most men say they most often fantasize about their wives when they masturbate followed by some random hot female they may have met or just saw in passing. Most women say they most often fantasize about other men or the faceless lover when they masturbate. Women don't usually fantasize about their husbands.

So cut yourself some slack and stop allowing yourself to be measure by the wrong yard stick.

"Some women are blessed with multi-orgasmic ability for a reason and I'm damn sure not going to waste a blessing" ~FrenchFry

"Vaginas are tricky creatures." ~Lucy999
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post #18 of 20 (permalink) Old 02-17-2017, 02:52 AM
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Re: The sad truth

LOL! 😄 Sounds like a man wrote that OP.

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post #19 of 20 (permalink) Old 02-17-2017, 04:56 AM
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Re: The sad truth

OP - I also think that oggling family members is off the scale but the most important thing is you had no intention to pursue to act anything out with them if I understand you correctly.

Of course I don't know your H, but if he is the great man you describe him to be, I imagine he will be able to forgive you for fantasising about others. You need to forgive yourself too. If he is a good and compassionate man, IMO he may well take some responsibility for putting up a wall that led you to feel you could not just be yourself.

I am wondering if you believe your H to be perfect in all respects??? Both you and your husband are only human and just as you made mistakes, he will have made mistakes - maybe even the same kind of mistakes you have made but just much better at hiding them. Also I can't help wondering if he is getting off on having you describe in detail your fantasies about other men.

Consider both IC and MC
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post #20 of 20 (permalink) Old 02-17-2017, 06:01 AM
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Re: The sad truth

Why bring up a financial matter that was sorted out 15 years ago?

Fantasizing is quite natural, most people do it. As someone pointed out, if you are of particular faiths this may cast some disparity on fantasizing, e.g a man looks lustfully at a woman, he has committed adultery in his heart, etc.

I think you do have a problem of sorts, you could have some sort of sexual addiction if it is a persistent problem. I would suggest you take some time with a therapist.
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