and you do not like that about him, how do you cope with it?
Yes...all of the men I've had LTR's with have cared. Can I answer even if that doesn't bother me?
It just doesn't bother me. I love feeling strong mutual physical and sexual attraction with a partner. I would not be able to function sexually without it. I love me, I like the way I look and I like my body. I want to be with a man who feels the same way about himself and who *I* am specifically attracted to. And I want him to be so strongly attracted to me, as I am, that he can't keep his hands or eyes off me.
The "as I am" part...I haven't significantly changed in weight since high school, and I'm 49 years old. I have always done what need to to maintain my body and health. I am a fit person, but not a hard body (never go to the gym, I just stay active). I enjoy moving through space, my body is my favorite vehicle. I want my man to love my body and want me, "as I am".
Since I have chosen for myself to always maintain my fitness and size, it is not an issue for me to think of whether he would care if I gained weight or not. I simply won't. Which is a choice entirely about myself, no one else. (I have to work at this...I'm not one of those naturally thin people who eats whatever they want).
I do know that every man I've been in an LTR with has cared, as I said above, and the reason I know is because they said words to the effect that they loved my body so much and couldn't imagine me not having it...that I just wouldn't be the same without it. And it is true, I agree, I wouldn't be the same. The way I look, move, have sex, wear clothes...none of that would be the same.
However....I also know if I were 20 or 40 pounds heavier, for instance, a whole different subgroup of men would be MORE attracted to me. And they would say the same thing to me...that they love my body so much and couldn't imagine me not having it. They wouldn't want me to lose weight, they would love all the extra cushioning and curves.
I love that men want our bodies...all different sizes and shapes of them...I love that we inspire lust in men with our bodies. This is a natural thing that happens, we are designed this way. It makes me tingle all over when I think of the strong pull that is caused by this irresistible attraction.
None of the men I've been with have ever gained or lost any significant amount of weight during our relationship. I was very attracted to all of them, they all had fantastic bodies (my opinion, not saying everyone would agree) with different body types. I would have felt less attracted to any of them if they gained or lost significant amounts of weight.
During all of my relationships, both of us have gone up or down maybe 10 pounds once in awhile...after holidays, etc....this is insignificant and never affected our attraction for each other. I don't know how much weight it would take to change our attraction, but certainly small fluctuations are not even noticed and even if they are noticed, it can be fun to be a little "different" in our shapes for a little while.
Maintaining our bodies and fitness is never a topic that we have worried about or had any sort of disagreement about. If we discuss our bodies, it is to discuss how much we love them (our own and the other's).