Re: Ladies, if your husband *does* care about your weight,
I couldn't be with a man like that. Bodies change over time, we age, things sag and metabolism changes. And besides, I want a man to love me for ME, not my body type.
I've always been a sapiosexual, myself. A man's brain and personality is what attracts me to him. I've dated men of all shapes and sizes, although I do have a thing for bigger, burly guys. They make me feel petite and dainty. My current partner is tall and meaty, and he does have a little bit of a belly. It bothers him, and he's said on more than one occasion, how can you be with a guy who is so fat? It's never bothered me. I actually like his belly. I don't want him to gain any more weight, but that's because of health reasons more than anything else, and because it would impact our sex life (from a physical ability standpoint and the fact that weight gain would screw with his hormones and lower his sex drive). I would be ok with him losing weight for the same reason, and also because I know that would make him happier about himself and healthier, not because it would make him more attractive to me. I've seen pictures of him when he was younger and thinner. I don't think he understands that is who I see when I look at him, because I see HIM.
And I want a man who thinks the same way.
I know my partner does. He has some, er, clothing items from a previous time in his life. He says his XW never wore them, but I realized by looking at them that he has dated some MUCH smaller women in the past. He wanted me to wear some. (Yes, that's messed up. I dealt with it, and he now realizes how messed up it was to ask me. no need to discuss.) I looked at them, and before he ever asked, I knew they would never fit me. But when he asked me to wear them, I realized that my body size doesn't register with him--how could it, if he thinks I would be able to wear these things, which to me so obviously will not fit? That was when I realized that he sees ME, not my size, and it was a very touching moment, despite the other part of it that was kind of screwed up.
~Happily un-married since December 9, 2013~