Hello, I know I made the decision to have children and love them dearly, but the constant screaming and needy I just cant handle. I never get one minute to myself when Im home and my husband tries to help, but she will only deal with me, of course when Im at work he has the baby, but he still will constantly call me when shes been screaming for an hour, and Im not sure what he wants me to do. handle it... like I always do. so even when Im not there he always makes it well known how much she is crying and screaming and how he already( only been out of work a week or so) is getting aggravated with her. This aggravates me....I still keep the house clean and do laundry and what not even tho Im working, I guess dealing with the baby he cant juggle both. He wont be out of work long no, but it just puts so much stress on me, with not having much money and him already borrowing from parents. I cant stand that, I want to be stable and not have to worry. I have always my whole life lived pay check to pay check and frankly im tired of doing that. He doesn't want to be away from us, but I could care less if he got a job where he was out of town or something, just make enough money and keep that job, I cant seem to ever be away from him or the kids. no matter what. I just cant handle it anymore....I don't even know where to begin or end on whats going on with me and feeling like this, and when I think about having to just deal, and go on with my life like this...... I wanna cry..... I want to live my life in happiness and where I feel like im being myself, instead of faking my everyday life and just pretending to love it. doe that make sense?
This is a short time of their growing, just because you don't like this part doesn't mean you won't like others. Soon they will be past this stage. Your husband needs to step it up though, when I was outsourced and out of work for about 6 months, I cleaned the house once a week. I didn't do it up to her exacting standards but even with the small stuff she need to be done a certain way, I still took about 90% of the work off her. Why is he not doing this?
Part of the problem seems to be that you are not voicing your concerns or he is not listening. So many people whose spouse just leave wish that the knew there was a problem. The spouse that left is done because they have been silently building up resentments and not saying anything for years. If you want your marriage to survive you owe it to him and yourself to say these things. Look one day if you don't shape up I am going to be gone.
"It hurts my feelings that you don't help me when I am raising your child. I thought we were a team! Husband you need to do more around the house. I can't do it all. You are supposed to be my teammate. I need this from you. Help me."
That's the thing isn't it. You don't feel bonded because you don't feel like a team, you feel like you are carrying him. That is where the resentment comes from.
You also have a right to have some alone time. But you see blogs by mom's all the time where they leave for the weekend and they turn their phone off. You know what, your husband will figure it out without you. They have been doing so from time in memorial. Part of this is you letting go. I am telling you lots of women do this! Your husband isn't and idiot, he will be able to deal with it. You call him a few times, but don't let him call you. He won't like it but it will be good for him anyway. It will give him a taste of what you go through.
Just understand if you do go away. NO CHEATING or even flirting. Going away is not going away from your commitments, it's just going away from your responsibility for a little bit.
You can survive this but you need to communicate and you need to get your husband to understand that things have to change our you are done. He is your husband, your provider, and part of that providing is giving you some me time so you can recharge. If he makes the effort I think you will start to see him with the love again.
Send him on here and we will kick his ass. Again so many Men are shell shocked when their wives are just done. The mantra is why didn't she tell me. You are doing him a favor by giving him a chance.
Now you cheat and we will kick your ass.