I broached the topic with my husband, and he was less than receptive. He is worried about the risk (so am I) and thinks the financial risk is too great. He also indicated that he would expect us to fire our twice monthly house cleaner, and that I would take on burden of doing all vacuuming, dusting and toilet scrubbing. I told him I was able to keep that in the budget and that I wanted to focus all my energy on finding a job. I also didn’t want to become the person responsible for all the chores simply because I wasn’t working, because my job would be to FIND a job. He said that was probably a deal breaker.
While your first priority would be to find another job, it's doesn't take 8 hours a day, every single day, 5 days a week. And it certainly doesn't make it impossible to do laundry or scrub a toilet, dust and vacuum or cook a meal for dinner while you're doing it.
Secondly, it's absolutely ludicrous to have other people doing your housecleaning when you're HOME to do it yourself. Unless you two have tons of expendable income and a yacht parked down at the harbor, there's not ONE viable reason for you not
to be doing all the work at home if you're not working OUTSIDE the home. Your argument just makes you sound incredibly lazy.
Here’s where my thoughts are. I feel like he is placing my economic worth (both my earnings and chores) over my mental well-being. I want to tell him that, but I also want to tell him that I don’t want to be in a marriage where my economic worth is the most important factor. I also don’t want to be in a marriage where he thinks that my career choice is a joint decision. And for the record, if our positions were reversed, I’d want him to pick that path that allows him to be happy. Our marriage needs to strengthen or I don’t think we are going to make it.
Your career choice SHOULD be your decision, 100%. You're working towards that goal and will have your certificate in June. While you're accomplishing that, you want to take a left turn which is ok, too. You just need to realize that if you're not going to be bringing in a paycheck, it's not fair to be wasting money on cleaning personnel when you're fully capable of doing it yourself. You're not a special snowflake.
I've worked at one or two jobs I despised so much I'd actually swore under my breath from the second I got out of my car, walked across the parking lot, went through the front doors and all the way through the office to my desk. People probably saw my lips moving and thought I was a freakin' lunatic. I would have given anything
to NOT to have to show up there each day and wanting to hang myself from the first convenient light fixture in the office - just like you feel. And if it were possible for me to escape the place and take a layoff package and the price at home would be taking over the domestic chores while searching for a better job, I would have been ALL over that like a hobo on a hotdog.
Rework your financial plan excluding the decadence of unnecessary house cleaners this time around, and reapproach the subject again with him.