Ok, I understand how and why women might find porn "threatening" to their relationship however, in a healthy relationship where both partners find each other sexually attractive under normal circumstances, this is absolutely not the case. I have been trying to get this point across so many times...if the man prefers porn over wife it is either due to: 1). his easily addictive behaviour (the addiction could manifest itself via other outlets just as much, i.e. alcohol, gaming, gambling etc or 2). porn often receives a blanket blame for any problem in the relationship when it is usually simply a symptom of a deeper problem within a relationship.
Not sure I agree but I would say that to me as a woman, there would be a big difference between watching porn as a couple and being married to someone who watched porn without me.
Ok, I can understand how this might seem obvious, but when men watch porn, the majority of the time they are not "lusting" after anyone's body, it's simply the act that is arousing and the visual stimulation only aids a quicker orgasm. The reason women find it difficult to relate to this is in my opinion because they have a much more vivid imagination and when they read erotic novels for example, it is probably likely that they actually imagine themselves in the act much more often whereas men don't tend to do that...
The man falls in love with his wife (and her body) and the real thing is so much better than any "perfect" bodies portrayed in some stupid movie. There is simply no comparison to real life sex where you get immediate feedback form the act, where you can feel, smell and taste things. it's just not the same at all.
That may be your experience, and even that of many mens. But forums like this one have plenty of stories from women whose husband's have lost all interest in sex with them and who happen to have porn all over their phones. Also, I do realize I've done a really crappy job of choosing men in my lifetime, so maybe my anecdotal experience is outside the norm, but every guy I've been with seemed to be in search of the perfect body - bigger breasts, longer legs, etc. Also, I was in the military and as such hung out with and worked with mostly men where I was kind of "one of the guys" and they were always watching porn and saying nit picky things about women's bodies and their interest in women on base always had to do with how good their bodies were, how good looking they were. An extra pound of fat, a lack of muscle tone, a spot of cellulite - like I say, maybe it was just the men I was around but I've been around men most of my life and their wanting to be with the best looking woman was definitely my take away.
"For myself - I've seen porn a few times, but it mostly made me feel sad. I couldn't stop thinking about the fact that those "actresses" used to be someone's little girl. They still are a daughter, sister, mother... I wondered what happened to them."
Yes, but these women didn't make the choice when they were a "little girl", they made a specific choice as an adult person (and usually for materialistic reasons), just like any job decision. I feel sad for many 9-5 jobs I see people wasting their lives doing but people are free to choose what they want to do with their time. Usually.
I'm just explaining why bringing porn to bed would not be a turn on to me. Yes people are free to choose, but I don't believe an emotionally healthy woman would every choose to be a porn star. The idea of letting random people screw you on film for money is so degrading and demeaning to me, it overshadows any erotocism I might get from the film.
Anyway, this is a digression and doesn't really address the question of what complaining about "bringing porn to bed" means. The majority of the descriptions of a "good lover" describe a potentially very arousing scene from a good quality porn flick, in my opinion. I think it is somewhat unfair to issue a blanket condemnation of all porn when many women actually crave that very act themselves...
Well I've lost track of the original complaint about bringing porn to bed. I would just say that women craving what is acted out in a porn scene happening to them in their real life is completely different than a woman approving of porn! If you're saying her guy could learn some good tips from watching some good porn, I'll buy that. But if you're saying women shouldn't condemn porn since it depicts what they claim turns them on, I'm not seeing the logic.
BTW - I was thinking, men COULD get some really good tips on pleasing a woman by reading some steamy romance novels - they are written with what women want in mind.