Ladies, What is a "good lover" ? - Page 4 - Talk About Marriage
The Ladies' Lounge Sharing and support.

User Tag List

 264Likes
Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools Search this Thread
post #46 of 153 (permalink) Old 01-30-2017, 11:50 AM
Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2016
Posts: 2,094
Re: Ladies, What is a "good lover" ?

Actually she did like it and got huge orgasms from it (but she usually has intense orgasms anyway). But as the novelty wore off, she decided she liked it less than normal sized toys (for when we used toys). For us toys are not a substitute for intercourse, just a different thing to do.

as you say, she generally denies me sex anyway. I suppose I would feel differently if she denied me sex *because* of my penis size, but that clearly isn't the case.



Quote:
Originally Posted by Faithful Wife View Post
But even with the toy, your opinion about "how you would feel" is shaped by the fact that you tried and she didn't like it.

What if she did like it, had huge orgasms from it, then took it underground and used it without you every chance she got, meanwhile denied you sex (even though she already does that part)? Your opinion would be different.


uhtred is online now  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
post #47 of 153 (permalink) Old 01-30-2017, 12:13 PM Thread Starter
UMP
Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2014
Posts: 2,202
Re: Ladies, What is a "good lover" ?

So,
We went from "what makes a good lover" to "Big Black C$cks."

Wow! I guess I'll post in the ladies lounge more often
UMP is online now  
post #48 of 153 (permalink) Old 01-30-2017, 12:22 PM
Member
 
Faithful Wife's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2012
Posts: 10,777
Re: Ladies, What is a "good lover" ?

Quote:
Originally Posted by UMP View Post
So,
We went from "what makes a good lover" to "Big Black C$cks."

Wow! I guess I'll post in the ladies lounge more often
You're welcome, glad I could help.

Remember the goal of feminism: Making sure only alphas get laid!
Faithful Wife is offline  
 
post #49 of 153 (permalink) Old 01-30-2017, 12:30 PM
Member
 
Faithful Wife's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2012
Posts: 10,777
Re: Ladies, What is a "good lover" ?

Quote:
Originally Posted by inmyprime View Post
I was speaking for the 'majority of men' (and I shall provide this disclaimer should I use the term again in future, this is what my lawyers tell me
I am surprised that you don't see that it is in your post, where you clearly mention an extremely specific example and then declare everything I said about porn invalid, unless my wife experienced & went through that specific example of yours. I mentioned the closest thing (lesbian scenes). I could just as much start getting paranoid that my wife could be into some woman on woman action, secretly or not secretly. But I ain't. And it doesn't bother me. I don't see why it has to be black c*cks or nothing.


And that is the crux of the matter: I do not wish to downplay your feelings about whatever may have happened to you or some single cases scattered over TAM. However that is not the majority of the cases that I am referring to and if you insist that it is (because I wouldn't know otherwise since my wife isn't seemingly that much into black c*cks), then lets just agree to disagree and move on.
I know there is no way to know or find out, but I do not think your attitude reflects the "majority of men" on this issue.

For the record, I've never been with a man who disrespected me in any way, including via porn use. What I have done though is listen to and read messages from hundreds of both men and women who HAVE been very hurt by their partner's porn use. Yes, including many men. Yes, some of them really would be ok with BBC but freak out if their woman watches girl on girl. Yes, some of them also freak out when they find out their wives are reading erotica. And then it goes on from there....chatting, sexting, webcam, all the way up to meeting strangers in real life in some cases (and I'm talking about women doing all of these, not men). Yes, men do have plenty to worry about, just as women do, and yes they are incredibly jealous when the reality of what I'm saying happens to them. TAM is not the only source of my knowledge base (as I know it isn't yours, either). Fine to agree to disagree, but I still do not think you should speak as if the majority of men think the way you do.

I'm quite aware that the majority of women don't feel the way I do (I'm not talking about the porn part, I mean just in general) and so instead of speaking for them, the ones who feel differently than I do, I instead speak what I've heard them say and try to convey their feelings and try to empathize even if it isn't how I feel. What you are doing is insisting that the men who really are doing things that harm their marriages and their wives are the outliers or are rare somehow, based on the fact the "you" don't feel that way and you think you speak for the average man. You don't.

Remember the goal of feminism: Making sure only alphas get laid!
Faithful Wife is offline  
post #50 of 153 (permalink) Old 01-30-2017, 12:32 PM
Member
 
Taxman's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2016
Location: The Frozen North
Posts: 194
Re: Ladies, What is a "good lover" ?

It is all in knowing what her hot buttons are and using them. She says that I am a good lover. I know that she has erogenous zones other than her breasts and vagina. I know that she nearly comes from my kissing and nibbling at her inner thighs. She loves to have her neck kissed and nibbled. And her major turn on; while we are f**king, I will bite and suckle her toes, usually when I suck her big toe while plunging in and out, she will have two to three major orgasms. We make sure that we take time, and sessions go beyond an hour or so (not a fan of quickies).
Taxman is online now  
post #51 of 153 (permalink) Old 01-30-2017, 12:32 PM
Member
 
Fozzy's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2013
Posts: 4,526
Re: Ladies, What is a "good lover" ?

Quote:
Originally Posted by UMP View Post
So,
We went from "what makes a good lover" to "Big Black C$cks."

Wow! I guess I'll post in the ladies lounge more often
Yeah, but come on. Have you seen Lexington Steele?


That thing has its own off-ramp.

Darling it's better down where it's wetter, take it from me! --- Sebastian
Fozzy is online now  
post #52 of 153 (permalink) Old 01-30-2017, 12:35 PM
Member
 
Faithful Wife's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2012
Posts: 10,777
Re: Ladies, What is a "good lover" ?

Quote:
Originally Posted by uhtred View Post
Actually she did like it and got huge orgasms from it (but she usually has intense orgasms anyway). But as the novelty wore off, she decided she liked it less than normal sized toys (for when we used toys). For us toys are not a substitute for intercourse, just a different thing to do.

as you say, she generally denies me sex anyway. I suppose I would feel differently if she denied me sex *because* of my penis size, but that clearly isn't the case.
What if you found out she was denying you sex because every time you left the house she went and pulled out the huge toy and turned on some BBC porn? Not saying this is the case, but it is exactly the case (in reverse) for many women.

Remember the goal of feminism: Making sure only alphas get laid!
Faithful Wife is offline  
post #53 of 153 (permalink) Old 01-30-2017, 01:02 PM
Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2016
Posts: 2,094
Re: Ladies, What is a "good lover" ?

If she was turning me down for sex and masturbating, I'd be unhappy. If she wasn't turning me down, I wouldn't care at all. Its not a concern over what she is using to masturbate, but rather over her turning to something other than me for sex, while denying me sex.






Quote:
Originally Posted by Faithful Wife View Post
What if you found out she was denying you sex because every time you left the house she went and pulled out the huge toy and turned on some BBC porn? Not saying this is the case, but it is exactly the case (in reverse) for many women.
uhtred is online now  
post #54 of 153 (permalink) Old 01-30-2017, 01:05 PM
Member
 
ConanHub's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Abroad. Currently Arizona.
Posts: 7,390
Re: Ladies, What is a "good lover" ?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Faithful Wife View Post
What if you found out she was denying you sex because every time you left the house she went and pulled out the huge toy and turned on some BBC porn? Not saying this is the case, but it is exactly the case (in reverse) for many women.
Ouch! Good points FW.

In my case Mrs. Conan would be in for some sweat equity and spankings.

She has learned to like spanking though and she might just do things to "earn" them. LOL!
ConanHub is online now  
post #55 of 153 (permalink) Old 01-30-2017, 01:37 PM
Member
 
ConanHub's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Abroad. Currently Arizona.
Posts: 7,390
Re: Ladies, What is a "good lover" ?

Quote:
Originally Posted by UMP View Post
So,
We went from "what makes a good lover" to "Big Black C$cks."

Wow! I guess I'll post in the ladies lounge more often
I personally like blue and green myself!😁

ConanHub is online now  
post #56 of 153 (permalink) Old 01-30-2017, 01:51 PM
Member
 
alexm's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2008
Posts: 2,541
Re: Ladies, What is a "good lover" ?

Quote:
Originally Posted by inmyprime View Post
You mean you prefer to focus on yourself rather than anything/anyone else? I am not sure I still understand what the difference between 'making love' and 'having sex' is. Isn't it just a state of mind?
Let me try a different way: have you tried 'making love' instead of having sex? What did you do differently?
To me, the difference is pretty simple.

When my wife and I have sex (which is ~80% of the time), it's much like what one sees in porn. Yes, she likes it this way. Go figure. It's not one-sided or anything, it's just... more to the point. Which is orgasm. She usually gets one or more through oral first, then another one or two through PIV. She likes to get pounded, for lack of a better term, and preferably from behind, which is how we usually end up. If she's on top, then it's me who's doing the thrusting, not her.

When we make love, it's slower, passionate, more deliberate, more sensual, more kissing. It eventually ramps up when either one, or both of us, approach orgasm, but to get to that point, we're in no rush. We don't do doggy style when we make love, and if she's on top, she does the moving, not me, as opposed to above. Oral is foreplay only, and slower, with no orgasm. When we make love, she usually has one orgasm through PIV, sometimes two. Again, as opposed to above, where she'll get off numerous times.

"Every time I read your posts about your wife I want to swallow strychnine."
alexm is offline  
post #57 of 153 (permalink) Old 01-30-2017, 01:52 PM
Member
 
Keke24's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2016
Location: Caribbean
Posts: 376
Re: Ladies, What is a "good lover" ?

Quote:
Originally Posted by inmyprime View Post
This was a joke. No jealousy. Please don't project what I am supposed to be feeling.



I was speaking for the 'majority of men' (and I shall provide this disclaimer should I use the term again in future, this is what my lawyers tell me
I am surprised that you don't see that it is in your post, where you clearly mention an extremely specific example and then declare everything I said about porn invalid, unless my wife experienced & went through that specific example of yours. I mentioned the closest thing (lesbian scenes). I could just as much start getting paranoid that my wife could be into some woman on woman action, secretly or not secretly. But I ain't. And it doesn't bother me. I don't see why it has to be black c*cks or nothing.



And that is the crux of the matter: I do not wish to downplay your feelings about whatever may have happened to you or some single cases scattered over TAM. However that is not the majority of the cases that I am referring to and if you insist that it is (because I wouldn't know otherwise since my wife isn't seemingly that much into black c*cks), then lets just agree to disagree and move on.
Honestly before coming on TAM, I had zero awareness of the turn-off towards porn by some women. My sisters all watched porn, in fact my interest in it started when the oldest shared that she had used it to teach herself to cum. Much later, after many frustrating failed attempts, I too was able to cum with it playing in the background. Similarly, close girlfriends also make reference to porn and we compare/share some of our favourite scenes.

So in my experience I really haven't come across women who find porn destructive. I agree that men who get addicted to it introduce a very unhealthy dynamic to a relationship. I would really be curious what percentage of women have had the experience of it destroying their sex life, what percentage of men/women find it generally unappealing, what percentage of men find themselves getting addicted to it and what percentage of women find it useful like myself.
Keke24 is offline  
post #58 of 153 (permalink) Old 01-30-2017, 02:03 PM
Member
 
alexm's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2008
Posts: 2,541
Re: Ladies, What is a "good lover" ?

Quote:
Originally Posted by inmyprime View Post
I have to try the looking in the eye thing. I have a feeling it would freak my wife out...I can't often look people in the eyes when I speak to them, during sex, this might be even stranger...What happens if one person bursts out laughing? :-)
I couldn't look people in the eyes, either, until I was in my early 20's. For me, it was a confidence thing. Not that I had NONE, just that I felt overly conscious about it.

I was like that until somebody pointed it out to me, and I decided then and there that I'd make the effort to change, and I did.

A good trick that somebody told me is to look at the space between somebody's eyes when you're talking to them. This avoids your own eyes going back and forth, or making you look c0ck-eyed.

It was surprisingly easy to do, and I noticed very quickly that people were more comfortable with me in general, not just in speaking with me. Now I TOTALLY notice when somebody doesn't look me in the eyes when speaking, and I find it terribly awkward.

I also had a very limp handshake (which, as a man, is noticeable). At the same time, I made the effort to give a firm handshake, and the difference it made was noticeable, as well. It commands a certain respect, both things, and people tend to react accordingly. Just don't over-do either. As a smaller man (I'm 5'7"), you're already at a certain disadvantage before you even open your mouth, meaning that most people have already started to judge you. Small, quiet and shy = weak. Small, loud and brash = over-compensating. The trick is to balance every thing.

The worst, though, is the people who look you up and down while speaking to you. Hate that. And those that try to rip your arm off when they shake your hand.

"Every time I read your posts about your wife I want to swallow strychnine."
alexm is offline  
post #59 of 153 (permalink) Old 01-30-2017, 03:03 PM
Member
 
lucy999's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: Brownbackistan
Posts: 1,725
Re: Ladies, What is a "good lover" ?

Quote:
Originally Posted by alexm View Post

The worst, though, is the people who look you up and down while speaking to you. Hate that.
I do too. It's rude. The women in my circle call that "elevator eyes." Women are the worst about it in my experience. Sure, men do it too for other reasons(checking a woman out), but women are so damned competitive I'm convinced that generally, they do it to knock you off your game.
lucy999 is offline  
post #60 of 153 (permalink) Old 01-30-2017, 03:41 PM
Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2016
Location: UK
Posts: 1,146
Re: Ladies, What is a "good lover" ?

Quote:
Originally Posted by WorkingWife View Post
Too be fair, I think many women find porn destructive to one's sex life because 1) men get addicted to it and start to prefer masturbating to porn over making love to their wife. 2) The contrast effect - No matter how attractive the wife, there will always be porn start with better bodies. Lusting after these women tends to make the man less satisfied with his naturally aging wife with a normal body.

For myself - I've seen porn a few times, but it mostly made me feel sad. I couldn't stop thinking about the fact that those "actresses" used to be someone's little girl. They still are a daughter, sister, mother... I wondered what happened to them.
I agree, you are so right. I see porn as a very dangerous thing that causes such damage in marriages and relationships and in individuals lives. Porn use is now mentioned in 60% of all divorces. I would hate it if my husband thought that porn was in anyway Ok or a good place to learn. For a man to be thinking about the other women he has seen while he has sex with his wife is so wrong. For me its a big no no. How can he not compare her with the other women who are after all just acting?

We are all different and what some women want some would hate. Someone mentioned they liked 'mild choking' . I cant think of anything worse, and many more things that have been mentioned here I would hate and have no interest in. As someone said, its what your wife thinks that matters not what other women have said they want.
Diana7 is online now  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
Reply

Quick Reply
Message:
Options

Register Now



In order to be able to post messages on Talk About Marriage, you must first register. Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.

Important! Your username will be visible to the public next to anything you post and could show up in search engines like Google. If you are concerned about anonymity, PLEASE choose a username that will not be recognizable to anyone you know.

User Name:
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.

Password:


Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.

Email Address:
OR

Log-in









Human Verification

In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.



Thread Tools Search this Thread
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search



Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Ladies, would you be ok with being the primary breadwinner in your marriage? EleGirl The Ladies' Lounge 106 12-22-2016 01:47 AM
Ladies, this question is for you LucasJackson General Relationship Discussion 33 09-04-2016 11:18 PM
Another Question for the Ladies karole The Ladies' Lounge 8 08-19-2016 02:27 AM
Serious question for you ladies Ynot The Ladies' Lounge 21 04-25-2016 06:04 PM
Ladies, how to handle situation? CuddleBug The Ladies' Lounge 60 04-24-2016 12:10 AM

Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off

 
For the best viewing experience please update your browser to Google Chrome