Oh wow. It's good to know that it's a genuine 'thing'. I always felt guilty and somewhat incompetent (at not being able to arouse my wife enough for her to also want to come). But what confused me was the fact that she was highly aroused and still wanted to perform the NSA BJ thing on occasion. I thought it was just a 'polite' way to get me off her back (or front).
Oh God no. Well I obviously cannot speak for anyone else but in my world the NSA BJ is a big sexual thrill. It is extremely arousing but let's put it into context... he is the best lover I have ever had, he is giving, sensual, plays hard and we have sex at least every day (more sometimes depending on life and how many of our 5 teens are at home or whatever else life throws at us). Our sex life is 10/10 at a minimum often I would say it is more than 10/10 so I am safe and free to give NSA types of sex because I am very much fulfilled with our sex life and I am very content in the knowledge that I will and do get what I want out of it. Part of what I want is a bit of a power play, to see and hear him weak at the knees is a power trip.
Just ask your wife why she gives NSA BJ's, I hope the answer is similar to mine, if it is you must be worth it to her.
Going back to my earlier question to the OP, I was eluding to the idea that if someone has to ask what a good lover is then perhaps the question has more to do with them wanting to know if they
are good or not. For me it is about the reflection and response you get back. I give a lot to my man because he is a good lover, he gives me a huge amount not just because he loves sex but because I am a good lover, I know that. We also give each other a lot outside the bedroom because we are fulfilled in the bedroom. As stupid as it sounds I love ironing his business shirts, I stand there day dreaming about having sex with him while I iron them, when he sees his wardrobe full of clean ironed shirts I tell him that they are there bc he is an exceptional lover, yes I'm a whack job