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post #106 of 153 (permalink) Old 01-31-2017, 02:52 PM
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Re: Ladies, What is a "good lover" ?

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My guy really dislikes giving oral, so that's off the table. Initially, I was disappointed, but I've found he's so good at everything else and is so focused on taking care of my needs, that it's a trade-off I'm willing to make.

On an individual scale, I get it, some guys just don't like doing it. But an entire cultural bias against it makes me sad for all the women of your country.
I do feel very sad for the women, particularly the ones who've been brainwashed into accepting the bias.

I also feel sad for my bf. He hasn't said it explicitly but I have to be very cautious not to let anything slip about his growing interest in giving me oral and trying anal when we're around his friends. It's difficult because sexual stuff almost always comes up in one way or another.

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post #107 of 153 (permalink) Old 01-31-2017, 02:54 PM
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Re: Ladies, What is a "good lover" ?

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I have dated other guys who didn't like giving oral. I don't get it, either. Those other guys weren't worth not having oral as part of the repertoire.

My guy has some interesting hang-ups/things. I'm sure there's a reason behind this, he just hasn't told me what it is yet. He LOVES getting it, but he will NOT give it.
Well cheers 🍻 and here's to him overcoming!

Definitely glad he's good for you otherwise and ways!
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post #108 of 153 (permalink) Old 01-31-2017, 02:55 PM
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Re: Ladies, What is a "good lover" ?

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WTF!!!!????!?

I'm tempted to move there and start a sexual revolution!

What country?
Lmao Jamaica. I'd love to see you try lol they're crazy over here
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post #109 of 153 (permalink) Old 01-31-2017, 02:59 PM
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Re: Ladies, What is a "good lover" ?

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Lmao Jamaica. I'd love to see you try lol they're crazy over here
WOW! Would not have guessed!

I have a friend who is from there.

Now I'm almost curious to ask him about it but we aren't that close yet.
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post #110 of 153 (permalink) Old 01-31-2017, 03:04 PM
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Re: Ladies, What is a "good lover" ?

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WTF!!!!????!?

I'm tempted to move there and start a sexual revolution!

What country?
Be careful. The last guy who attempted to 'fight' for the right causes lost his jaw within the first hour on the battle field. You'll need one made out of steel. Godspeed
----
Yes that would be a deal breaker for me. (If wife wouldn't let me go diving). I need to do it for purely selfish reasons on a regular basis. But it's different for different couples. There are perhaps many women who suffer from c*ckaphobia.

Last edited by inmyprime; 01-31-2017 at 03:21 PM.
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post #111 of 153 (permalink) Old 01-31-2017, 03:08 PM
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Re: Ladies, What is a "good lover" ?

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WOW! Would not have guessed!

I have a friend who is from there.

Now I'm almost curious to ask him about it but we aren't that close yet.
He is actually from Jamaica? Oh boy, I'd love to hear what he has to say. It is so ingrained in the culture. I've had a hard time just trying to get my bf to understand that his opinions on sex are based primarily on his culture as opposed to independent thought.
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post #112 of 153 (permalink) Old 01-31-2017, 03:13 PM
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Re: Ladies, What is a "good lover" ?

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He is actually from Jamaica? Oh boy, I'd love to hear what he has to say. It is so ingrained in the culture. I've had a hard time just trying to get my bf to understand that his opinions on sex are based primarily on his culture as opposed to independent thought.
Yes and he is a very intelligent and sensitive, soft spoken man.

He really likes Tyler Perry movies and is married to a firecracker of a woman!
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post #113 of 153 (permalink) Old 01-31-2017, 03:35 PM
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Re: Ladies, What is a "good lover" ?

Huh, neither H or I do the oral thing. I personally hate doing it, but will do it to please my man from time to time. It depends though, with the right person it can be kind of nice. H doesn't know what he's doing down there, so when he's given it in the past, I've found that it does nothing for me, so we've just stopped oral completely. He absolutely refuses to give anal, even with my encouragement (I'm a rare woman who genuinely loves it).
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post #114 of 153 (permalink) Old 01-31-2017, 03:53 PM
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Re: Ladies, What is a "good lover" ?

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There are a LOT of nerve ending back there, but just at the point of entry, not inside. Also, the full clitoral muscle does extend all the way to the anus, so that may have something to do with it.



Actually, no. Studies show that permanent and/or long-term damage/injury from anal sex is very rare, and even less likely if you practice it safely (slowly and with sufficient lube).

You're repeating scare-tactic propaganda.

Not at all, it happens but isn't talked about much. The anus just isnt designed for anything to be inserted. Its damages the muscles.
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post #115 of 153 (permalink) Old 01-31-2017, 04:26 PM
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Re: Ladies, What is a "good lover" ?

That's really interesting (and unfortunate). I'd never heard of a cultural bias against men giving oral.

OTOH, how could anyone find out if someone does it - other than their partner I mean. Its not the sort of thing I would ever talk about except anonymously.


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It's nothing I will even attempt to understand but over here, anal is a no-no and so is men giving oral. It's been a big adjustment having to tip toe around men's egos over here. Friends (men and women) will absolutely shun their male friends if it is found out that he gives his woman oral pleasure. Of course this is considered outrageous among the more educated but no one dares speak out about it.


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post #116 of 153 (permalink) Old 01-31-2017, 04:38 PM
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Re: Ladies, What is a "good lover" ?

If you research anal/rectal cancer it does I fact warn that a lot of anal sex, especially with multiple partners, can increase the risks of cancer developing. That's all I need to know. Mine is an exit only. When my partner let's me put something in his backside, I'll consider it. (Which is not going to happen.)

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post #117 of 153 (permalink) Old 01-31-2017, 04:47 PM
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Re: Ladies, What is a "good lover" ?

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Not at all, it happens but isn't talked about much. The anus just isnt designed for anything to be inserted. Its damages the muscles.
I didn't say it doesn't happen, I said it's rare. The same way that there are risks associated with everyday living.

Is there a risk of dying in a fiery crash if I get on a plane to travel to a foreign country? Yes, it happens. It has happened to some people. But the risk of it happening is still very small.

People have been having back-door sex since the beginning of history. Literally. The ancient Greeks loved that sh!t. (Ha!) If there were serious, grave, health risks that definitely happen to everyone who does it, everyone would say, "Dude, don't do it, you'll get anal prolapse!"

The risk is very small when it's done correctly. You're blowing the risk way out of proportion.

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post #118 of 153 (permalink) Old 01-31-2017, 04:49 PM
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Re: Ladies, What is a "good lover" ?

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If you research anal/rectal cancer it does I fact warn that a lot of anal sex, especially with multiple partners, can increase the risks of cancer developing. That's all I need to know. Mine is an exit only. When my partner let's me put something in his backside, I'll consider it. (Which is not going to happen.)

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This is specifically because the risk of contracting HPV is higher. If you've had the vaccine or your number of partners are low, then you reduce your risk. It's not risky because it's anal, it's risky because it's yet another way to contract HPV.

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post #119 of 153 (permalink) Old 01-31-2017, 05:13 PM
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Re: Ladies, What is a "good lover" ?

Mrs. Conan is not interested in anal and I have never been curious.

If my partner wanted me to, I would give it a go though and if they liked it, I would do it occasionally.

Carefully of course! LOL!

Can't really say it's my cup of tea.
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post #120 of 153 (permalink) Old 01-31-2017, 05:19 PM
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Re: Ladies, What is a "good lover" ?

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Mrs. Conan is not interested in anal and I have never been curious.



If my partner wanted me to, I would give it a go though and if they liked it, I would do it occasionally.



Carefully of course! LOL!



Can't really say it's my cup of tea.


Don't think of it as a cup of tea. It's more like sticky toffee pudding..
Actually it can be done in a perfectly clean, hygienic and safe way. With a few simple precautions.


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