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post #16 of 64 (permalink) Old 01-31-2017, 04:32 PM
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Re: Female Orgasms

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Originally Posted by Vinnydee View Post
Although I am not a woman, I think I know my wife's orgasms very well after 45 years of marriage. I am very luck because my wife usually reaches an orgasm in under three minutes. She was the one who had to hold off waiting until I was ready to orgasm. We used to joke that all I had to do was look at it and she would orgasm. There are many times when I wish she took longer to orgasm because I like performing oral sex an within 30 seconds she is grabbing my hair and pressing my face into her vagina and starting her first orgasm. My wife had orgamsed as much as 17 times in a 4 hour period. She orgasms from direct clitoral stimulation. Intercourse puts pressure on her clitoris which can be done without intercourse.

At the age of 64 she still has an orgasm quickly, but the most she will have is 3 at a time. A few weeks ago she had 10 orgasm by having sex three times during the week. When I pointed that out to her, her reply was that 10 orgams were only the ones I knew about.
Thank you for telling us how often your wife can orgasm. How is this helpful to the OP?


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post #17 of 64 (permalink) Old 01-31-2017, 04:36 PM
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Re: Female Orgasms

LIC, I was having issues with frequent UTI's as well and what helped was urininating and/or showering right after sex. I've not had a UTI since starting that habit (suggested by my doctor). Also, if you can O with a vibrator by yourself, can you try doing the same with your husband as part of your lovemaking? I recommend doing it before his orgasm and then feeling him inside you after you have had yours. I don't mean he uses the vibrator on you, I mean, you use it on yourself as he kisses your breasts or your mouth or something like that. If you can orgasm on your own, you will find a way to orgasm with him, even if its with help. I have a lot of friends that use the bullet with their husbands with much success. I wish you luck, hang in there!

"You will always be too much of something for someone: too big, too loud, too soft, too edgy. If you round out your edges, you lose your edge. Apologize for mistakes. Apologize for unintentionally hurting someone--profusely. But don't apologize for being who you are."
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post #18 of 64 (permalink) Old 01-31-2017, 04:37 PM
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Re: Female Orgasms

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LIC
Hope you do not mind a male perspective. My wife has slowly ramped up her sexual response. When we first got together, we were lucky to have one orgasm from oral stimulation of her clitoris. Over the years, her response has gotten better and better. We recently stumbled on a technique of treating the clitoris as essentially a very small penis. What I do, is put my mouth over her clit, suck the head just past my lips and emulate a blow job, sucking up and down and pulling at it. She usually orgasms within seconds and will orgasm over and over again. I got this from a client who is bi-sexual, and incorporated his technique for male lovers into his technique for female lovers. The results are spectacular.
Mind blown on this one. Never heard this...does this really work???? Passing on to hubby!

"You will always be too much of something for someone: too big, too loud, too soft, too edgy. If you round out your edges, you lose your edge. Apologize for mistakes. Apologize for unintentionally hurting someone--profusely. But don't apologize for being who you are."
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post #19 of 64 (permalink) Old 01-31-2017, 07:32 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Female Orgasms

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Originally Posted by Taxman View Post
LIC
Hope you do not mind a male perspective. My wife has slowly ramped up her sexual response. When we first got together, we were lucky to have one orgasm from oral stimulation of her clitoris. Over the years, her response has gotten better and better. We recently stumbled on a technique of treating the clitoris as essentially a very small penis. What I do, is put my mouth over her clit, suck the head just past my lips and emulate a blow job, sucking up and down and pulling at it. She usually orgasms within seconds and will orgasm over and over again. I got this from a client who is bi-sexual, and incorporated his technique for male lovers into his technique for female lovers. The results are spectacular.
Thank you Taxman for this tip. My husband has also done this technique on me before and it does feel great. A lot more sensation than just licking etc. however, it is not enough to bring on a O. Maybe I should get him to do it longer and see what happens (if he could possibly manage more than 5 minutes). I know that after a while of doing this I will get him to stop and I then take over with a vibrator or my own hand. I need to have hard circular pressure on the pubic bone around the clit area to help with O. I will certainly try this again.

Last edited by Lifeiscomplicated; 01-31-2017 at 08:56 PM.
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post #20 of 64 (permalink) Old 01-31-2017, 07:36 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Female Orgasms

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Originally Posted by Middle of Everything View Post
I luckily stumbled upon this technique early in my marriage/relationship.

The times before I found this technique? I literally had a sore tongue for days.
LOL! Same with the husband.
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post #21 of 64 (permalink) Old 01-31-2017, 08:11 PM
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Re: Female Orgasms

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Originally Posted by Lifeiscomplicated View Post
Thank you Taxman for this tip. My husband has also done this technique on me before and it does feel great. A lot more sensation than just licking etc. however, it is not enough to bring on a O. Maybe I should get him to do it longer and see what happens. I know that after a while of doing this I will get him to stop and I then take over with a vibrator or my own hand. I need to have hard circular pressure on the pubic bone around the clit area to help with O. I will certainly try this again.
Let him know that he has to apply pressure while engaging in this technique. It works like gangbusters.
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post #22 of 64 (permalink) Old 01-31-2017, 09:15 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Female Orgasms

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Originally Posted by MJJEAN View Post
1) Vaginal, oral, and manual all give me orgasms.

2) How long it takes me to orgasm depends on a few factors. Obviously, if I am tense or distracted when we begin, it might take a bit longer. Usually, about 5-10 minutes.

3) I rarely have a single orgasm. Usually, I'll have one and then another either immediately or within 3-4 minutes as long as stimulation continues. So, I'd say fairly easy.

4) I do not touch myself or use a vibrator generally. The exception is when DH wants to watch me as part of foreplay or when we're doing something kinky.

5) I've never found it difficult with DH with the exception of when I was on antidepressants.

You mention in your post you are on antidepressants. Low libido is a known side effect of some medications and so is difficulty reaching orgasm. It's entirely possible you can't get there because of one or more medications. It happened to me. Speak to your doctor, explain the problem, and see if you can try a different medication.
MJJEAN I am so envious! You are one very lucky lady to O that easily.

I have tried many different antidepressants over the years and agree that low libido or no libido is always a side effect. I have been on and off them for many months at a time because my husband can't cope without having sex at least weekly and when I am on them I have absolutely no desire nor do I want to be touched. I try to stay off the meds until I can't cope any longer with the depression, sadness or the day to day business of running a family.

Last edited by Lifeiscomplicated; 01-31-2017 at 09:27 PM.
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post #23 of 64 (permalink) Old 01-31-2017, 09:19 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Female Orgasms

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Originally Posted by release2016 View Post
If in the right frame of mind I can orgasm with 2 or 3 minutes of masturbating. Takes longer with partner though,

That said I think frame of mind is all important - if you think something will be difficult it usually is, and vice versa- the following link could well help as i feel having a positive attitude towards attaining an orgasm is key. Def works for me -

Female Orgasm Positive Affirmations ? Free Affirmations ? Free Positive Affirmations

Agaiin I need to feel reasonable at ease and at least somewhat in the mood to come. However i can recall one occasion, and only one, where i was thoroughly NOT in the mood and partner "made me orgasm" against all odds because i didn;t want to come as I was annoyed with him about something. I was shocked and surprised it happened. Has never happened again!
Thank you for the affirmations. I will definitely give them a try.
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post #24 of 64 (permalink) Old 01-31-2017, 09:26 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Female Orgasms

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Originally Posted by Vinnydee View Post
Although I am not a woman, I think I know my wife's orgasms very well after 45 years of marriage. I am very luck because my wife usually reaches an orgasm in under three minutes. She was the one who had to hold off waiting until I was ready to orgasm. We used to joke that all I had to do was look at it and she would orgasm. There are many times when I wish she took longer to orgasm because I like performing oral sex an within 30 seconds she is grabbing my hair and pressing my face into her vagina and starting her first orgasm. My wife had orgamsed as much as 17 times in a 4 hour period. She orgasms from direct clitoral stimulation. Intercourse puts pressure on her clitoris which can be done without intercourse.

At the age of 64 she still has an orgasm quickly, but the most she will have is 3 at a time. A few weeks ago she had 10 orgasm by having sex three times during the week. When I pointed that out to her, her reply was that 10 orgams were only the ones I knew about.
Vinnydee, you have a very fortunate wife who is still able to do that at 64. I hope to be still having sex at 64. Good on you both!
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post #25 of 64 (permalink) Old 01-31-2017, 09:49 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Female Orgasms

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Originally Posted by Fitnessfan View Post
LIC, I was having issues with frequent UTI's as well and what helped was urininating and/or showering right after sex. I've not had a UTI since starting that habit (suggested by my doctor). Also, if you can O with a vibrator by yourself, can you try doing the same with your husband as part of your lovemaking? I recommend doing it before his orgasm and then feeling him inside you after you have had yours. I don't mean he uses the vibrator on you, I mean, you use it on yourself as he kisses your breasts or your mouth or something like that. If you can orgasm on your own, you will find a way to orgasm with him, even if its with help. I have a lot of friends that use the bullet with their husbands with much success. I wish you luck, hang in there!
Hi Fitnessfan, I do urinate just before and straight after sex but it didn't seem to make much difference. What I found is if we don't spend a lot of time with foreplay especially using the fingers (which are always clean BTW) I wouldn't end up with a UTI. Unfortunately for me I much prefer fingers than any other foreplay.

The most satisfactory vibrator that I have is a flexible rabbit however I need to have it on top speed for it to work and have tried using it when he is inside me but it is quite cumbersome and he hates feeling it or even feeling the vibrations. I think if I was to use it while he is kissing me it would take to long for me to O as it is, it can take 5 mins or more before I O depending on how relaxed I am. I also own something similar to a bullet that could be used during sex but it was just too weak even on top speed and did nothing for me.

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post #26 of 64 (permalink) Old 01-31-2017, 10:04 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Female Orgasms

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Originally Posted by mary35 View Post
Understanding Sexual Arousal in Women ? Women?s Health Network

This is sn advertisement for a herbal product, Arginelle. I actually used this product, among many others, when I was trying to restore sensation and the ability to orgasm and it did seem to help. But I posted the article for you because of the good info not the product.

To answer your question It took me over a year (a very long and frustrating year) to restore some sensation and my ability to have orgasms, although the ability was not reliable and sometimes very unsatisfying because of how week they were when they happened. More research, more work and continual monitoring and adjusting hormones - and 7 - 8 years later, I can have an orgasm and often more than one almost any time I want. I had never had multiples before menopause. I probably could have, but didn't know it.

Bottom line - you can teach an older dog new tricks. And perseverance, determination, knowledge, and work do pay off.
Thanks Mary35! 7-8 years to get it right. I will be close to 60 by then. Bl**dy menopause as if us women haven't had enough to deal with body wise throughout our lives without having to deal with these other problems.

I am glad to know that with much perseverance you were able to overcome the problem.
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post #27 of 64 (permalink) Old 01-31-2017, 10:11 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Female Orgasms

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My experience with porn was the same. In fact I found it actually dulled my senses after awhile. However, it did teach me the power of my brain and the power of fantasy which I have learned to tap into when needed.

Let's face it - after many years of the same thing over and over, our senses do get dulled. We have to find ways to wake then up. Since I believe in monogamy, that means working with my long term partner only, to try to find ways to make it feel new and exciting again. Not an easy feat especially when he is not great at being creative and inventive and likes staying with the same old.
I agree it can become very monotonous after so many years with the same person that you do need to try and liven things up.
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post #28 of 64 (permalink) Old 01-31-2017, 10:26 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Female Orgasms

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I understand your reluctance towards hormonal therapy. And you may not even be a candidate for them. However do research them, and consider that it may still be worth while to have your levels tested so you know what you are dealing with. Can't fix what you don't know is wrong.

I thought I needed more estrogen, so was looking for natural ways to increase it. In fact - I was actually estrogen dominant. Meaning that while my estrogen levels had fallen, my progesterone levels had fallen more. Since our bodies function best with a certain ratio balance of estrogen to progesterone (simplifying this a lot for sake of discussion), I had too much estrogen for my low level of progesterone. So while I did need to increase estrogen, I also needed even higher dosages of progesterone to get everything balanced. I opted to go the bio identical hormone replacement route after extensive research and not enough luck with the natural products route.

My point is, that in not knowing I was estrogen dominant, I was making things worse or at the minimum, needlessly spinning my wheels by only concentrating on trying to increase estrogen.

As a side note, also adding testosterone has made a huge difference in my desire for sex which directly improves my functioning ability.

And again, I can't stress Kegels enough. The stronger your muscles, the stronger the sensations of orgasm conttactions. Plus you can learn to use those muscles to help you tip over the edge as needed.

Unfortunately, I am not a candidate for HRT due to female family cancers. I am taking medication for my Rosacea which lowers the androgen levels a particular type of male steroid hormone that women have. Personally, I blame (happy wise) this medication for my HD even though there is no such side effect regarding libido when using this medication.

And again, I can't stress Kegels enough. The stronger your muscles, the stronger the sensations of orgasm conttactions. Plus you can learn to use those muscles to help you tip over the edge as needed.[/QUOTE]

Interesting! I do kegels during sex only because I like the sensation and I think I am doing something worthwhile to strengthen the pelvic floor muscles to help prevent incontinence.

Thank you again Mary35 for your advice.
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post #29 of 64 (permalink) Old 01-31-2017, 10:51 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Female Orgasms

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Originally Posted by Ursula View Post
LiC, I've always had the same problems, and it is frustrating. I've never hit O with any of my past partners, or my H. The only way this can happen is with a vibrator, by myself. I've learned to live with it, and pleasure myself at least a couple times a week this way, and then when H and I do it once a week, it's not so frustrating.
Hi Ursula, I to have learnt to live with it but I'm tired of accepting it now as normal because I don't think it is. There has to be another way and I am determined while I can still be bothered in researching it.

Did you ever think that maybe we are not the problem that it might be our partners and previous partners that may not have be very skilled in the art of love making LOL.
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post #30 of 64 (permalink) Old 01-31-2017, 10:53 PM
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Re: Female Orgasms

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Originally Posted by Lifeiscomplicated View Post
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Originally Posted by Taxman View Post
LIC
Hope you do not mind a male perspective. My wife has slowly ramped up her sexual response. When we first got together, we were lucky to have one orgasm from oral stimulation of her clitoris. Over the years, her response has gotten better and better. We recently stumbled on a technique of treating the clitoris as essentially a very small penis. What I do, is put my mouth over her clit, suck the head just past my lips and emulate a blow job, sucking up and down and pulling at it. She usually orgasms within seconds and will orgasm over and over again. I got this from a client who is bi-sexual, and incorporated his technique for male lovers into his technique for female lovers. The results are spectacular.
Thank you Taxman for this tip. My husband has also done this technique on me before and it does feel great. A lot more sensation than just licking etc. however, it is not enough to bring on a O. Maybe I should get him to do it longer and see what happens. I know that after a while of doing this I will get him to stop and I then take over with a vibrator or my own hand. I need to have hard circular pressure on the pubic bone around the clit area to help with O. I will certainly try this again.
If it takes too long I/we would stop as well, since overstimulation can be a great way to lose the sensation.

......

Anyway I've always done oral that way, even as far back as my first sexual partner.

In addition to that if wanting more direct feedback, I insert a finger or two into my sexual partners rectum. The benefit of doing this is, I can then more closely and directly measure the woman's response to the oral (without toys or devices) that I am doing.

In the first instance you feel nothing as such, then after a short while you then feel a tightening that is also coincident with very small spasms/pulses that are fast like a vibrator. Once you get that pulse you then do more of exactly what caused it. So you then get more of those extremely fast micro spasms/pulses that you can feel through the rectum yet don't really feel through the vagina with your fingers. To the point that if you back off they diminish or go away, or get stronger as you get the woman closer to orgasm.

When I feel the groups of spasms/pulses get stronger and no longer have gaps as such between the groups, I know the woman is about to tip over into orgasm. So I then keep up that oral pressure technique until she tips over. Where I then feel a succession of deep slower throbbing pulses as felt through the rectum that provides the tell for the orgasm.

In my experience doing the sucking thing and variations of it, in combination with applying the feedback as informed by the backside, it normally doesn't take very long to bring a woman to orgasm.

In case it might work for you, perhaps you and your husband could try the same.

......

As to phallus/penis in vagina sex, does your husband last long enough for you to get close to tipping over into orgasm? Or is he changing position as you get close or frequently? Or are you not getting close at all?

I wish I could describe it properly but, the thing for my wife and I as well as my other sexual partners who have orgasmed through penetration without additional clitoral stimulation being applied. The ability to stroke consistently with lots of pressure at the right angle, while being consistent without changing position or significantly varying the stroke and pressure. While also not tipping over into orgasm before the woman does, which kills the pressure and length of stroke, goes a very long way.

As bland as missionary is made out to be, in my experience with various women it can be used very effectively to bring orgasm. Just as long as the stroke in and out is maintained with plenty of pressure. What I have variously found is that when you are in the right position inside on the end of the forward stroke towards the front and at the front of the penis, you can feel the top of the inside of the vagina push and rub. Once you have that position inside, you then stroke at a good rhythmic pace, that is not too fast while applying lots of pressure.

I wish I could describe it better but I can feel a difference around my penis when I'm in the right position to help my partner and partners in the past have a PIV orgasm, versus when I'm not in the right position to help them.

The right position sort of feels like what I imagine a key in the right lock might feel like. So I can feel the top of the inside of the vagina and can feel what sort of feels like having fingers grip the side of the shaft from below at an angle inside. Again I'm sorry in not having the best words to convey this.

The wrong position doesn't have the same feel, it's a bit like having a key that works but doesn't fit properly. Which can occur with the same woman, so it's about getting the position right to a great degree.

Anyway when the position is right, pressure is really important through each stroke at the right angle and maintaining it until that point where the woman changes.

So one minute it's just run of the mill PIV sex, where they seem to be enjoying it as such, but they're also thinking about what they've got to do in an hour or we're chatting. Then suddenly they change, their flush changes again and they go animal and are consumed in the moment. At that point just as long as you don't not tip over yourself, you know you will get them there pretty soon, just as long as you maintain the stroke and pressure. With that change, the grip around the penis becomes stronger, and it feels like they are grinding you then gripping and releasing you while their insides tilt forward and back. Then as they grip and tilt, you set your stroke to match theirs while always maintaining that pressure.

At the same time I have also variously found , because it can be different depending upon the person or what day it is etc with the same person. That when they have "changed" they often like to have their hair gripped tightly or even pulled a bit. Or they will then enjoy having their nipples worked hard including with teeth. Likewise running teeth down ones neck at the same time can add to it as well.

Plus kissing them as they approach orgasm while maintaining that pressure and stroke all while they're tilting inside. Is great to do as well because the level of wanton consumption that you get from them at that time as they want to be utterly consumed by you at the time is delicious.

Absent that "change", I wouldn't recommend applying teeth to a nipple or pulling hair as a go to in the first instance.

Anyway once they tip over to orgasm while inside of them, I find it best to keep going until they stop throbbing and variously tilting inside, lest you mistakenly think they've orgasmed when they haven't. Likewise some will also want you to keep going to get more orgasms when they reach that point. That said I find once it gets that far at some point I will not be able to maintain that position stroke or pressure to give them much more in terms of orgasms in quick succession, but hey they got there so...

Later tonight, I'll ask my wife to share how she would describe getting her there for a PIV orgasm, and what works for her and what doesn't along the way.

Last edited by Personal; 01-31-2017 at 11:39 PM.
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