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post #31 of 64 (permalink) Old 01-31-2017, 11:04 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Female Orgasms

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Originally Posted by ChipperE View Post
I have a hair trigger and can orgasm in under a minute. I orgasm consistently throughout intercourse. My husband has a certain rhythm/angle that he knows sits right on top of the g-spot and so it's like hitting "repeat"!

My question to you: Do you do kegel or any type of vaginal exercises? I do kegels all day long and they have done nothing but give me stronger and more frequent orgasms. Might be worth trying if you aren't doing that? If not, maybe some of those lubes that increase sensitivity?
What is a hair trigger? Does having orgasms consistently throughout intercourse something you enjoy having or can it be annoying?

I have only recently started doing kegels again if I remember to do them at all. It is much harder to do now than it was after childbirth. I was hoping it will help with strengthening the bladder and therefore perhaps prevent UTI's and urinary incontinence.

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post #32 of 64 (permalink) Old 01-31-2017, 11:06 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Female Orgasms

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Originally Posted by Taxman View Post
Let him know that he has to apply pressure while engaging in this technique. It works like gangbusters.
Okay thanks!
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post #33 of 64 (permalink) Old 02-01-2017, 12:17 AM Thread Starter
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Re: Female Orgasms

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Originally Posted by Personal View Post
If it takes too long I/we would stop as well, since overstimulation can be a great way to lose the sensation.

......

Anyway I've always done oral that way, even as far back as my first sexual partner.

In addition to that if wanting more direct feedback, I insert a finger or two into my sexual partners rectum. The benefit of doing this is, I can then more closely and directly measure the woman's response to the oral (without toys or devices) that I am doing.

In the first instance you feel nothing as such, then after a short while you then feel a tightening that is also coincident with very small spasms/pulses that are fast like a vibrator. Once you get that pulse you then do more of exactly what caused it. So you then get more of those extremely fast micro spasms/pulses that you can feel through the rectum yet don't really feel through the vagina with your fingers. To the point that if you back off they diminish or go away, or get stronger as you get the woman closer to orgasm.

When I feel the groups of spasms/pulses get stronger and no longer have gaps as such between the groups, I know the woman is about to tip over into orgasm. So I then keep up that oral pressure technique until she tips over. Where I then feel a succession of deep slower throbbing pulses as felt through the rectum that provides the tell for the orgasm.

In my experience doing the sucking thing and variations of it, in combination with applying the feedback as informed by the backside, it normally doesn't take very long to bring a woman to orgasm.

In case it might work for you, perhaps you and your husband could try the same.

......

We haven't done this in ages. Will try it again but this time I will pay more attention to what I feel.


As to phallus/penis in vagina sex, does your husband last long enough for you to get close to tipping over into orgasm? Or is he changing position as you get close or frequently? Or are you not getting close at all?

I wish I could describe it properly but, the thing for my wife and I as well as my other sexual partners who have orgasmed through penetration without additional clitoral stimulation being applied. The ability to stroke consistently with lots of pressure at the right angle, while being consistent without changing position or significantly varying the stroke and pressure. While also not tipping over into orgasm before the woman does, which kills the pressure and length of stroke, goes a very long way.

As bland as missionary is made out to be, in my experience with various women it can be used very effectively to bring orgasm. Just as long as the stroke in and out is maintained with plenty of pressure. What I have variously found is that when you are in the right position inside on the end of the forward stroke towards the front and at the front of the penis, you can feel the top of the inside of the vagina push and rub. Once you have that position inside, you then stroke at a good rhythmic pace, that is not too fast while applying lots of pressure.

I wish I could describe it better but I can feel a difference around my penis when I'm in the right position to help my partner and partners in the past have a PIV orgasm, versus when I'm not in the right position to help them.

The right position sort of feels like what I imagine a key in the right lock might feel like. So I can feel the top of the inside of the vagina and can feel what sort of feels like having fingers grip the side of the shaft from below at an angle inside. Again I'm sorry in not having the best words to convey this.

The wrong position doesn't have the same feel, it's a bit like having a key that works but doesn't fit properly. Which can occur with the same woman, so it's about getting the position right to a great degree.

Anyway when the position is right, pressure is really important through each stroke at the right angle and maintaining it until that point where the woman changes.

So one minute it's just run of the mill PIV sex, where they seem to be enjoying it as such, but they're also thinking about what they've got to do in an hour or we're chatting. Then suddenly they change, their flush changes again and they go animal and are consumed in the moment. At that point just as long as you don't not tip over yourself, you know you will get them there pretty soon, just as long as you maintain the stroke and pressure. With that change, the grip around the penis becomes stronger, and it feels like they are grinding you then gripping and releasing you while their insides tilt forward and back. Then as they grip and tilt, you set your stroke to match theirs while always maintaining that pressure.

At the same time I have also found variously because it can be different depending upon the person or what day it is etc with the same person.That when they have "changed" they often like to have their hair gripped tightly or even pulled a bit. Or they will then enjoy having their nipples worked hard including with teeth. Likewise running teeth down ones neck at the same time can add to it as well.

Plus kissing them as they approach orgasm while maintaining that pressure and stroke all while they're tilting inside. Is great to do as well because the level of wanton consumption that you get from them at that time as they want to be utterly consumed by you at the time is delicious.

Absent that "change", I wouldn't recommend applying teeth to a nipple or pulling hair as a go to in the first instance.

Anyway once they tip over to orgasm while inside of them, I find it best to keep going until they stop throbbing and variously tilting inside, lest you mistakenly think they've orgasmed when they haven't. Likewise some will also want you to keep going to get more orgasms when they reach that point. That said I find once it gets that far at some point I will not be able to maintain that position stroke or pressure to give them much more in terms of orgasms in quick succession, but hey they got there so...


Husband is like the Duracell Bunny, he can go on and on...... And no I do not even get close to orgasm in any position. A lot of the time I let him choose the positions because he is the one who will benefit from an orgasm not me.

I think I understand what you are saying. Can you do this way in any position or is it mainly missionary? When you mention pressure are you trying to aim yourself at the top of the vagina by rubbing against the G-spot? Does the stroke need to be slow or doesn't it matter as long as you are aiming towards the top of the vagina if this makes sense? Does the woman need to grind herself up and forward for this to work? If the orgasm is due to the penis rubbing the G-spot I don't think this will work for me because I don't feel any wonderful sensations or really any sensation except for a dull feeling like someone pushing down on something inside you IFYKWIM. My husband can feel it becoming bigger and swollen when using his fingers but I don't really feel anything at all.

Later tonight, I'll ask my wife to share how she would describe getting her there for a PIV orgasm, and what works for her and what doesn't along the way.
Thank you so much Personal for your advice. Can't wait until husband gets home from work to try your techniques.
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post #34 of 64 (permalink) Old 02-01-2017, 12:42 AM
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Re: Female Orgasms

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Originally Posted by Lifeiscomplicated View Post
We haven't done this in ages. Will try it again but this time I will pay more attention to what I feel.
I Hope it helps, anyway the finger thing is for him to feel it and then he responds accordingly.

I can often get my wife to orgasm without using the fingers in the backside for feedback. Versus when I use the fingers and feel the sensations, I almost always get my wife to orgasm.

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Originally Posted by Lifeiscomplicated View Post
Husband is like the Duracell Bunny, he can go on and on...... And no I do not even get close to orgasm in any position. A lot of the time I let him choose the positions because he is the one who will benefit from an orgasm not me.

I think I understand what you are saying. Can you do this way in any position or is it mainly missionary? When you mention pressure are you trying to aim yourself at the top of the vagina by rubbing against the G-spot? Does the stroke need to be slow or doesn't it matter as long as you are aiming towards the top of the vagina if this makes sense? Does the woman need to grind herself up and forward for this to work? If the orgasm is due to the penis rubbing the G-spot I don't think this will work for me because I don't feel any wonderful sensations or really any sensation except for a dull feeling like someone pushing down on something inside you IFYKWIM. My husband can feel it becoming bigger and swollen when using his fingers but I don't really feel anything at all.
I find it works more reliably with missionary or variations of the same for reaching orgasm through PIV alone, and I can also less reliably get my partner to have an orgasm when they're on top as well. Whereas I can't recall ever been able to get any woman to have an orgasm without additional stimulation with PIV sex, when we've been spooning or doing it "doggy style".

As to the stroke, I'll have to get back to you on details, since in the moment it's not something I have specifically thought about. It's certainly not very fast as such (although I do vary it), going long in the stroke helps a lot though combined with having the right angle with a slow escalation along the way.

As to the woman grinding, my wife sometimes does kegels when we have sex which is nice, yet when she reaches that moment of change she isn't intentionally doing anything.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Lifeiscomplicated View Post
Thank you so much Personal for your advice. Can't wait until husband gets home from work to try your techniques.
I don't know if it will help you both, but I do hope it does.

All the best.

I don't know how relevant this is, but I'll add that my wife is 46, pre-menopause and has had two children through vaginal births as well.
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post #35 of 64 (permalink) Old 02-01-2017, 08:35 AM
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Re: Female Orgasms

Anybody else need a cigarette?
And I've never smoked.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Personal View Post
If it takes too long I/we would stop as well, since overstimulation can be a great way to lose the sensation.

......

Anyway I've always done oral that way, even as far back as my first sexual partner.

In addition to that if wanting more direct feedback, I insert a finger or two into my sexual partners rectum. The benefit of doing this is, I can then more closely and directly measure the woman's response to the oral (without toys or devices) that I am doing.

In the first instance you feel nothing as such, then after a short while you then feel a tightening that is also coincident with very small spasms/pulses that are fast like a vibrator. Once you get that pulse you then do more of exactly what caused it. So you then get more of those extremely fast micro spasms/pulses that you can feel through the rectum yet don't really feel through the vagina with your fingers. To the point that if you back off they diminish or go away, or get stronger as you get the woman closer to orgasm.

When I feel the groups of spasms/pulses get stronger and no longer have gaps as such between the groups, I know the woman is about to tip over into orgasm. So I then keep up that oral pressure technique until she tips over. Where I then feel a succession of deep slower throbbing pulses as felt through the rectum that provides the tell for the orgasm.

In my experience doing the sucking thing and variations of it, in combination with applying the feedback as informed by the backside, it normally doesn't take very long to bring a woman to orgasm.

In case it might work for you, perhaps you and your husband could try the same.

......

As to phallus/penis in vagina sex, does your husband last long enough for you to get close to tipping over into orgasm? Or is he changing position as you get close or frequently? Or are you not getting close at all?

I wish I could describe it properly but, the thing for my wife and I as well as my other sexual partners who have orgasmed through penetration without additional clitoral stimulation being applied. The ability to stroke consistently with lots of pressure at the right angle, while being consistent without changing position or significantly varying the stroke and pressure. While also not tipping over into orgasm before the woman does, which kills the pressure and length of stroke, goes a very long way.

As bland as missionary is made out to be, in my experience with various women it can be used very effectively to bring orgasm. Just as long as the stroke in and out is maintained with plenty of pressure. What I have variously found is that when you are in the right position inside on the end of the forward stroke towards the front and at the front of the penis, you can feel the top of the inside of the vagina push and rub. Once you have that position inside, you then stroke at a good rhythmic pace, that is not too fast while applying lots of pressure.

I wish I could describe it better but I can feel a difference around my penis when I'm in the right position to help my partner and partners in the past have a PIV orgasm, versus when I'm not in the right position to help them.

The right position sort of feels like what I imagine a key in the right lock might feel like. So I can feel the top of the inside of the vagina and can feel what sort of feels like having fingers grip the side of the shaft from below at an angle inside. Again I'm sorry in not having the best words to convey this.

The wrong position doesn't have the same feel, it's a bit like having a key that works but doesn't fit properly. Which can occur with the same woman, so it's about getting the position right to a great degree.

Anyway when the position is right, pressure is really important through each stroke at the right angle and maintaining it until that point where the woman changes.

So one minute it's just run of the mill PIV sex, where they seem to be enjoying it as such, but they're also thinking about what they've got to do in an hour or we're chatting. Then suddenly they change, their flush changes again and they go animal and are consumed in the moment. At that point just as long as you don't not tip over yourself, you know you will get them there pretty soon, just as long as you maintain the stroke and pressure. With that change, the grip around the penis becomes stronger, and it feels like they are grinding you then gripping and releasing you while their insides tilt forward and back. Then as they grip and tilt, you set your stroke to match theirs while always maintaining that pressure.

At the same time I have also variously found , because it can be different depending upon the person or what day it is etc with the same person. That when they have "changed" they often like to have their hair gripped tightly or even pulled a bit. Or they will then enjoy having their nipples worked hard including with teeth. Likewise running teeth down ones neck at the same time can add to it as well.

Plus kissing them as they approach orgasm while maintaining that pressure and stroke all while they're tilting inside. Is great to do as well because the level of wanton consumption that you get from them at that time as they want to be utterly consumed by you at the time is delicious.

Absent that "change", I wouldn't recommend applying teeth to a nipple or pulling hair as a go to in the first instance.

Anyway once they tip over to orgasm while inside of them, I find it best to keep going until they stop throbbing and variously tilting inside, lest you mistakenly think they've orgasmed when they haven't. Likewise some will also want you to keep going to get more orgasms when they reach that point. That said I find once it gets that far at some point I will not be able to maintain that position stroke or pressure to give them much more in terms of orgasms in quick succession, but hey they got there so...

Later tonight, I'll ask my wife to share how she would describe getting her there for a PIV orgasm, and what works for her and what doesn't along the way.

Ciao,

Spicy
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post #36 of 64 (permalink) Old 02-01-2017, 09:27 AM
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Re: Female Orgasms

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Originally Posted by Lifeiscomplicated View Post
MJJEAN I am so envious! You are one very lucky lady to O that easily.

I have tried many different antidepressants over the years and agree that low libido or no libido is always a side effect. I have been on and off them for many months at a time because my husband can't cope without having sex at least weekly and when I am on them I have absolutely no desire nor do I want to be touched. I try to stay off the meds until I can't cope any longer with the depression, sadness or the day to day business of running a family.

I tried multiple anti-depressants. I had some pretty gnarly side effects on one. Severe constant back and stomach pain. Felt like I was trying to digest glass and rocks with acid. My back hurt so much I couldn't sleep for a few days. It was miserable. A different med completely numbed me. I couldn't feel much physically or emotionally, but at least my thinking wasn't dulled. It was weird. I knew I should be feeling a certain emotion in any given situation, but I just couldn't feel it, ya know? The last two I tried had sexual side effects. One made me able to become highly aroused, but I couldn't orgasm. The other killed my libido.

Is medical marijuana legal in your state? It's fairly well known that pot increases libido and lowers inhibitions in many. It's also shown promise as an anti-depressant/anti-anxiety medication. My state approved medical marijuana for depression a year or so ago. I got sick of playing Wheel of Side Effects, and gave medical pot a try. So far,a year and some change in, I have had no symptoms of anxiety and very little depression. Might be worth looking into just in case the meds are the culprit.

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Originally Posted by Lifeiscomplicated View Post
Hi Fitnessfan, I do urinate just before and straight after sex but it didn't seem to make much difference. What I found is if we don't spend a lot of time with foreplay especially using the fingers (which are always clean BTW) I wouldn't end up with a UTI. Unfortunately for me I much prefer fingers than any other foreplay.

The most satisfactory vibrator that I have is a flexible rabbit however I need to have it on top speed for it to work and have tried using it when he is inside me but it is quite cumbersome and he hates feeling it or even feeling the vibrations. I think if I was to use it while he is kissing me it would take to long for me to O as it is, it can take 5 mins or more before I O depending on how relaxed I am. I also own something similar to a bullet that could be used during sex but it was just too weak even on top speed and did nothing for me.
I've heard that using a vibe on an intense setting over a long period of time can reduce sensation and even cause deadening of the nerves. I've also heard that this is temporary, if it happens at all, and sensation should return. Do some research and decide what you believe. I, for one, think that using a vibe regularly is fine provided the speed and technique vary between sessions so that the numbness many women report doesn't occur and also so that the body and mind aren't conditioned to only orgasm from that specific vibe used that specific way.

Follow the evidence where it leads and question everything.
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post #37 of 64 (permalink) Old 02-01-2017, 01:46 PM
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Re: Female Orgasms

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Originally Posted by Taxman View Post
LIC

Hope you do not mind a male perspective. My wife has slowly ramped up her sexual response. When we first got together, we were lucky to have one orgasm from oral stimulation of her clitoris. Over the years, her response has gotten better and better. We recently stumbled on a technique of treating the clitoris as essentially a very small penis. What I do, is put my mouth over her clit, suck the head just past my lips and emulate a blow job, sucking up and down and pulling at it. She usually orgasms within seconds and will orgasm over and over again. I got this from a client who is bi-sexual, and incorporated his technique for male lovers into his technique for female lovers. The results are spectacular.

That's a good technique; it would be even better to engage the tongue once the clit is 'sucked in' at the same time, building up slowly. When she's close, I keep the clit sucked in and continue with just the tongue towards the end. Correct build up seemed more important for her though. The sucking helps with the blood flow.
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post #38 of 64 (permalink) Old 02-01-2017, 04:27 PM
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Re: Female Orgasms

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I tried multiple anti-depressants. I had some pretty gnarly side effects on one. Severe constant back and stomach pain. Felt like I was trying to digest glass and rocks with acid. My back hurt so much I couldn't sleep for a few days. It was miserable. A different med completely numbed me. I couldn't feel much physically or emotionally, but at least my thinking wasn't dulled. It was weird. I knew I should be feeling a certain emotion in any given situation, but I just couldn't feel it, ya know? The last two I tried had sexual side effects. One made me able to become highly aroused, but I couldn't orgasm. The other killed my libido.

Is medical marijuana legal in your state? It's fairly well known that pot increases libido and lowers inhibitions in many. It's also shown promise as an anti-depressant/anti-anxiety medication. My state approved medical marijuana for depression a year or so ago. I got sick of playing Wheel of Side Effects, and gave medical pot a try. So far,a year and some change in, I have had no symptoms of anxiety and very little depression. Might be worth looking into just in case the meds are the culprit.
To date my wife and I have been fortunate in not ever having to take antidepressants. That said if we find ourselves needing such help, we would certainly use them. The good news is medical marijuana is now legal in Australia and can be prescribed by doctors for a number of conditions, so that may be one solution as well.

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Originally Posted by MJJEAN View Post
I've heard that using a vibe on an intense setting over a long period of time can reduce sensation and even cause deadening of the nerves. I've also heard that this is temporary, if it happens at all, and sensation should return. Do some research and decide what you believe. I, for one, think that using a vibe regularly is fine provided the speed and technique vary between sessions so that the numbness many women report doesn't occur and also so that the body and mind aren't conditioned to only orgasm from that specific vibe used that specific way.
My wife doesn't use vibrators since she finds the experience too much, to the point that it makes her feel numb on the occasions she's tried using them in the past. On the other hand some people get a lot out of them, so it comes down to what works for you.
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post #39 of 64 (permalink) Old 02-01-2017, 06:32 PM
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Re: Female Orgasms

Thinking about it...All the technical tips might be useful but only up to a point. First of all, every woman is different and responds differently to different stimuli. Secondly, the biggest sex organ is the brain. Especially on a woman. (On a man too but it's usually the other way around: his brain is in his penis).

The issue is most probably psychological (since you worked out that you can come from masturbation). The key is for you to train yourself to 'let go' and for your husband, to work out what makes that organ (brain) tick. Trying different techniques is a given. Eventually with practice, you can 'train' your brain to 'go to that place' quicker, in order to orgasm, the more you do it.

It also helps to understand first whether it's easier to achieve O from g spot/PIV or clit stimulation and work from there accordingly. Some women don't like both areas stimulated simultaneously. Others won't come unless each hole is filled up to the full.
Your husband needs to take time and try to take you to that place psychologically and your job is to let him (and not get annoyed or at least not show that you are annoyed..).
Anticipation is also a powerful aphrodisiac. Let him tell you what he wants to do to you in all the detail beforehand. Start the foreplay in the morning and build it up throughout the day.
Technique is important but it doesn't work on its own.
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post #40 of 64 (permalink) Old 02-02-2017, 12:17 AM
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Re: Female Orgasms

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Originally Posted by inmyprime View Post
Thinking about it...All the technical tips might be useful but only up to a point. First of all, every woman is different and responds differently to different stimuli. Secondly, the biggest sex organ is the brain. Especially on a woman. (On a man too but it's usually the other way around: his brain is in his penis).
Ultimately when it comes to having an orgasm, technique is largely the point. Although I concur that all women are variously different just as all men are. It is also worth remembering, that we're all very similar as well. In that for the most part all of us have sexual organs (and I'm not referring to the brain), that can when rubbed in a certain way for a sufficient amount of time see us having an orgasm.

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The issue is most probably psychological (since you worked out that you can come from masturbation).
Actually considering the fact that @Lifeiscomplicated can orgasm through masturbation. It is highly likely that she is perfectly able to to have a partner bring her to orgasm while having sex. So it probably isn't a psychological issue at all.

On the other hand over stimulation with a vibrator, combined with the libido killing effect of some antidepressants may play a big role in this.

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Originally Posted by inmyprime View Post
The key is for you to train yourself to 'let go' and for your husband, to work out what makes that organ (brain) tick.
I concur with this in that it helps not to be anxious about such things, and to likewise relax in the moment. That said knowing how someone supposedly ticks, is no substitute for the application of sufficient and effective stimulation of the clitoris when wanting to actually have an orgasm.

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Originally Posted by inmyprime View Post
Trying different techniques is a given. Eventually with practice, you can 'train' your brain to 'go to that place' quicker, in order to orgasm, the more you do it.
Again sure it does help to be in the right frame of mind, yet that big splendid sex organ called the clitoris, is where the real action is.

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Originally Posted by inmyprime View Post
It also helps to understand first whether it's easier to achieve O from g spot/PIV or clit stimulation and work from there accordingly. Some women don't like both areas stimulated simultaneously.
Penis/phallus in the vagina sex can stimulate the legs of the clitoris, just as fiddling with the bit at the end can as well. Rub the penis in the right way and you're likely to get an orgasm, rub the clitoris in the right way and you're also likely to get an orgasm. Don't rub either of them the right way and chances are you're not likely to get an orgasm.

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Originally Posted by inmyprime View Post
Others won't come unless each hole is filled up to the full.
Hmmm... Really? ... I think it is extraordinarily unlikely that any women can't achieve an orgasm, unless they have their vagina and anus coincidentally filled with phalli at the same time.

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Originally Posted by inmyprime View Post
Your husband needs to take time and try to take you to that place psychologically and your job is to let him (and not get annoyed or at least not show that you are annoyed..).
He can take her to the sky of diamonds with Lucy if he likes, yet that is still unlikely to get her there in the absence of effective physical stimulation.

That said your suggestion that her job is to not show annoyance, or more broadly through inference, to not express disappointment or share the negatives. Is a very corrosive approach in any sexual relationships where problems exist.

Great sex for all participants, isn't built upon having one or more participants, hiding their feelings and or pretending that they're enjoying something when they're not.

For example my wife's first sexual partner was a sexually experienced, divorced older man who had no trouble attracting women, yet no matter how much he tried, he could never get her to have an orgasm.

At first she told him that she wasn't getting, there so in response he would try different things and again she would tell him it wasn't happening.

So following that he went to a popular go to for some men who can't get a women to orgasm. By telling her "you're the only woman who I've been with that can't orgasm, maybe it's you, maybe it's in your head" or words to that effect. That being the case it was time to introduce self doubt and inviting that chap called Resentment to the party.

Out of hoping for the best and trying to get him to understand that he wasn't stimulating her right, she told him again it still isn't happening. Which led to him to try a new tack, which saw him claiming she was actually having orgasms, because she got so wet, or thick white stuff came out, or that cloudy stuff with white flecks was there. Yet despite his assertions, there were still no orgasms! So being inexperienced and not knowing any better and not wanting to harm his fragile ego, she then decided, to do her job, suck it up and fake her orgasms.

So to him the sex got better because she was having (fake) "orgasms", cause you know she was like wet and she wanted it and all that, Yet really she was disappointed, somewhat frustrated and though she enjoyed sex as such, she wasn't getting any orgasms out of it, so he got dumped soon afterwards.

Unsurprisingly though as it turns out, my wife like probably almost all women, was/is perfectly capable of easily having frequent orgasms through digital, oral and penis/phallus in vagina stimulation. All that is required is a sufficient amount of effective physical stimulation, absent that stimulation she's not going to have an orgasm no matter how much her brain REALLY, REALLY wants to have an ORGASM!!!

The thing is if that guy didn't dismiss her and you know tell her she was wrong in what she was experiencing. Or likewise understood that a woman suddenly getting wetter during sex, and or squirting, doing Kegels, making noises, tilting to and fro around the penis, doing handstands and backflips etc. Or having that thick white stuff or cloudy stuff with white flecks come out, doesn't mean a woman has orgasmed, he might have been a better sexual partner.

Quote:
Originally Posted by inmyprime View Post
Anticipation is also a powerful aphrodisiac. Let him tell you what he wants to do to you in all the detail beforehand. Start the foreplay in the morning and build it up throughout the day.
Sure some titillation and flirting can be a great way to get the motor running. Yet again absent the application of effective stimulation of the clitoris (from within or without the vagina), orgasm is unlikely to ensue.

Quote:
Originally Posted by inmyprime View Post
Technique is important but it doesn't work on its own.
Wiith "technique" in this instance being the effective application of sufficient physical stimulation, in order to generate an orgasm. It is fair to say that the application of techniques that are effective, are essential to achieving an orgasm. And that although other things can contribute to achieving that orgasm, effective techniques can actually work on their own. That's why it is not unheard of for both men and women, to have orgasms even on the occasions when they think the sex sux, is mediocre or if they are being raped.

One can have all the arousal or desire in the world, through their "biggest sex organ". Yet absent the right physical stimulation of their actual sexual organs, most people aren't going to get there.


Last edited by Personal; 02-02-2017 at 06:48 AM.
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post #41 of 64 (permalink) Old 02-02-2017, 12:19 AM Thread Starter
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Re: Female Orgasms

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Originally Posted by Personal View Post
I Hope it helps, anyway the finger thing is for him to feel it and then he responds accordingly.

I can often get my wife to orgasm without using the fingers in the backside for feedback. Versus when I use the fingers and feel the sensations, I almost always get my wife to orgasm.



I find it works more reliably with missionary or variations of the same for reaching orgasm through PIV alone, and I can also less reliably get my partner to have an orgasm when they're on top as well. Whereas I can't recall ever been able to get any woman to have an orgasm without additional stimulation with PIV sex, when we've been spooning or doing it "doggy style".

As to the stroke, I'll have to get back to you on details, since in the moment it's not something I have specifically thought about. It's certainly not very fast as such (although I do vary it), going long in the stroke helps a lot though combined with having the right angle with a slow escalation along the way.

As to the woman grinding, my wife sometimes does kegels when we have sex which is nice, yet when she reaches that moment of change she isn't intentionally doing anything.



I don't know if it will help you both, but I do hope it does.

All the best.

I don't know how relevant this is, but I'll add that my wife is 46, pre-menopause and has had two children through vaginal births as well.
Thanks again Personal. We didn't get a chance last night to put your good advice to use. Hopefully tonight!
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post #42 of 64 (permalink) Old 02-02-2017, 12:25 AM
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Re: Female Orgasms

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Thanks again Personal. We didn't get a chance last night to put your good advice to use. Hopefully tonight!
That's alright I didn't get to make sure my description matches more closely that which works for us.
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post #43 of 64 (permalink) Old 02-02-2017, 12:42 AM Thread Starter
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Re: Female Orgasms

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Originally Posted by MJJEAN View Post
I tried multiple anti-depressants. I had some pretty gnarly side effects on one. Severe constant back and stomach pain. Felt like I was trying to digest glass and rocks with acid. My back hurt so much I couldn't sleep for a few days. It was miserable. A different med completely numbed me. I couldn't feel much physically or emotionally, but at least my thinking wasn't dulled. It was weird. I knew I should be feeling a certain emotion in any given situation, but I just couldn't feel it, ya know? The last two I tried had sexual side effects. One made me able to become highly aroused, but I couldn't orgasm. The other killed my libido.

Ouch! My side effects haven't been that bad, however, one medication made me lactate and that was 3 years after I had finished breastfeeding.

A different med completely numbed me. I couldn't feel much physically or emotionally, but at least my thinking wasn't dulled. I like the sound of that one.

Is medical marijuana legal in your state? It's fairly well known that pot increases libido and lowers inhibitions in many. It's also shown promise as an anti-depressant/anti-anxiety medication. My state approved medical marijuana for depression a year or so ago. I got sick of playing Wheel of Side Effects, and gave medical pot a try. So far,a year and some change in, I have had no symptoms of anxiety and very little depression. Might be worth looking into just in case the meds are the culprit.

Yes, it was legalised last year, however, I don't think the state I live in will prescribe it for depression. I can't remember if pot increased my libido but it did give me the munchies and I always had a great sleep. Was there a lot of rigmarole in getting it prescribed for yourself and I'm guessing you must smoke it???

I've heard that using a vibe on an intense setting over a long period of time can reduce sensation and even cause deadening of the nerves. I've also heard that this is temporary, if it happens at all, and sensation should return. Do some research and decide what you believe. I, for one, think that using a vibe regularly is fine provided the speed and technique vary between sessions so that the numbness many women report doesn't occur and also so that the body and mind aren't conditioned to only orgasm from that specific vibe used that specific way.
I don't have that problem of numbing or reduced sensation. Obviously, I not sensitive enough. I do agree that using a vibe constantly can make it very difficult to O naturally but sometimes it is a necessity.
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post #44 of 64 (permalink) Old 02-02-2017, 12:48 AM Thread Starter
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Re: Female Orgasms

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Originally Posted by inmyprime View Post
That's a good technique; it would be even better to engage the tongue once the clit is 'sucked in' at the same time, building up slowly. When she's close, I keep the clit sucked in and continue with just the tongue towards the end. Correct build up seemed more important for her though. The sucking helps with the blood flow.
Thanks for this advice.
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post #45 of 64 (permalink) Old 02-02-2017, 01:04 AM Thread Starter
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Re: Female Orgasms

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Originally Posted by Personal View Post
To date my wife and I have been fortunate in not ever having to take antidepressants. That said if we find ourselves needing such help, we would certainly use them. The good news is medical marijuana is now legal in Australia and can be prescribed by doctors for a number of conditions, so that may be one solution as well.

Unfortunately, I think where I live in Victoria medical marijuana will not be prescribed for depression and then again there are so many people who have depression/anxiety that it would be difficult to police.

My wife doesn't use vibrators since she finds the experience too much, to the point that it makes her feel numb on the occasions she's tried using them in the past. On the other hand some people get a lot out of them, so it comes down to what works for you.
It may come down to how sensitive one is. I know some women who say they are very sensitive and have no problems reaching O and then others like myself probably aren't nearly as sensitive and need a power tool to get going.
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