Ladies-how would you proceed with this scenario
What are your thoughts going into a relationship if you have some health problems, low to medium or high libido and I may not match yours 40% of the time, how to have a loving and regular sexual relationship, and make love 2 times a week, but have a lot less baggage.
I am a 52 y/o divorcee for the third time. How do I navigate or how would you navigate this by thinking, I really want to know David better, Yes this seems good, lets go deeper. How do women navigate these things today for a man like me to have a better life and relations? Should all this be this hard or happening at all? Everything is 95% attitude. I am going to get some attitude and get some swagger, but It will happen. slowly, but I will be successful. I just hope she would think so...
He has this baggage and will get better, I don't want to get married, but have serious relationship with all the trimmings for love and give love. I will be working on myself over the next year. When we meet and all things chemistry and personality jive or somewhat, or choose to get serious. Are these things deal breakers or cautionary items that you will see if it is o.k. for you, or drop me like a hot rock. We all have our missteps and failures. How honest do I become about my background.
AS for sexual desire. I have a fluctuating libido, medium, to medium high, and depending how i feel being tired or ill it cam ebb and flow at my age. I want to know if you have this issue to and how it affects the below. I need the romantic set up too.
Baggage, Please give me your thoughts good, bad, why? preferences, your deal breakers without even me knowing you.
1. What age should the woman be if she chooses man at age 52 consider to be dating or in a relationship with. I don't want to have a mismatch. What age is perfect for you man ladies?
2. My Administration career tanked at earnings of $75K now as a banker at $40K and I will not earn more unless I get a Masters and that is not a guarantee.
3. No assets for emergency use, but I am working 7 days a week to get some.
4. Depression is dormant, thinned skinned at times,
5. need to not look like failure before her eyes, but I do have warts and I imagine nearing 50 she does too.
6. I am a organized neat freak; therefore, if you your home can't take a visitor without saying you are a hoarder, messy, and a disorganized pig is a deal breaker for me. I am not anal about it but if I ask for a decade to thin out your stuff and not clutter every room that is bad, You don't see a clutter house in a Better Homes and garden magazine, or on Downton Abby.
7. Moody at times
8. has a few extra pounds, neuropathic feet, type two diabetes,needs exercise, and needs to re-learn to have fun and get to church.
9. He has a fluctuating libido from medium low to higher medium, but as well as women needing revved up.
10. Likes to give gifts and celebrate to have good times for building memories of love. I can't think of one I had over the last ten years. We were lazy and making the bills took priority without us realizing it until it was too late.
11. If you have a low libido to a high one how would you navigate this. I am game for setting up times that we do the set up and not the disinterested "Up to a quicky, no I am tired." I don't want to be embarrassed to pursue and get turned down.
12. You and just as I want to be admired,treated with respect
13. No kids in the house after they are age 23.
14. Must have both names on the mortgage otherwise the other one who doesn't ins't invested and why should they are if you fix the house or not. It's not mine attitudes. I don't want that, If you are in, your totally in.
15. Need to find himself again, learn to live again, become ambitious, get his mojo back
16. Does not need a care taker nor does he need fixing nor does he need a handout.
17. Don't five me a handout, or a relative or you give me an hand out. Not good, I will fight and get what I need for myself, us, my friends, If a family member gives you a gift tell me it is for your enjoyment or don't tell me, because I could possible say it is an insult for me to take when I am supposed to provide, hunt and gather myself.
18. If can't come to an agreement or compromise to cut $300.00 from the budget to save more money or from keeping a car being repossessed, or have some savings for a car repair or a repurchase of an appliance due to a break down, or by little gifts for your self or each other occasionally without begging is a deal breaker. If we have to, we, both, or I, at times need to make hard decisions to make things work.
19. Communicate needs and bedroom needs without feeling embarrassed that you know my warts and I know yours.
20. give each other forgiveness, grace, acceptance, and admiration, and the benefit of affection.
21. How forthcoming should I disclose about my issues. Don't say a word?
22. I may not be successful or AMBITIOUS AS YOU WISH/WANT, BUT i AM NEVER GOING TO GIVE UP TRYING?
23. Negative proponents say women can't take a man with fluctuating income streams: I fall into that category with the career i just left: Unemployment every two years due to me picking 1/2 of the jobs where I became the fall guy at a company doesn't plan to keep you long, and a few managerial screw ups leading people of which i acknowledged, learned from and not repeating, but with that said it was not good enough; therefore she builds contempt towards me, and with lack of appreciation and communication i developed that too. Losing my career was worse than finding out my wife cheated, had died, a relative dying etc. I lost all resilience and I am fighting to get my confidence back.
Please share your thoughts brief or long as you would like to share. What are you desires, hopes and dream, wants if you deal with this same thing.