Intercultural marriage. beside English, do your children speak a 2nd or 3rd language? - Talk About Marriage
The Ladies' Lounge Sharing and support.

User Tag List

 6Likes
Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools Search this Thread
post #1 of 16 (permalink) Old 01-31-2017, 12:12 PM Thread Starter
Member
 
jasmine31's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2016
Location: U.S.
Posts: 59
Intercultural marriage. beside English, do your children speak a 2nd or 3rd language?

Hi, I was wondering if you in an intercultural marriage, beside English does your children speak the native language of yours and your DH language?
To 'you', it is important that your children know their mom and dad native language? Or just English is enough (especially if live in the U.S)?

Do you mind share what languages do your children speak?--It is your native language or your DH native language? Or both?
If your trilingual (speak more than one native languages), how do you come to decission of which one to teach them?

Any ladies here that in an intercultural marriage? Or if anyone can help answer my questions above I really appreciate it. Thank you very much.

-------------------------------------------------------

I'm Chinese/Vietnamese married to a Sierra Leonean.. My husband his homeland (Sierra Leone, West Africa) it a small country with 6 millions population. Children there when go to school English is the main language taught and spoken in school, they speak their native language at home.
..........
My husband with his family he speaks his native Sierra Leoean language (the language that his ethnic group/tribe speak). This is the language he speaks with his mom, dad (deceased) and his older sister.
Yes, he knows English.

He bilingual, but I'm trilingual.. I'm fluent in speaking reading and writing Chinese, (Mandarin, Cantonese, and Shanghainese dialect because I'm native Shanghai born).
And Vietnamese (due to my mother side, my mom is Vietnamese).
English is my third language.

If you were me, beside English, what native language would you teach the baby?
English is the worldwide language, plus we live in the U.S so ofcourse English will be baby main language.
I guess the second language it be Mandarin?


A friend help gave me input she said that for the second language, chose a language that both mom and dad spoke in common. The thing is and my husband we don't have a common language (beside English).
I definately don't know his native Sierra Leoean language (the language that his ethnic group/tribe speak).
And he doesn't know (my languages) Mandarin, Cantonese, or Shanghainese dialect. Or Vietnamese.. Well, he does know a bit of Mandarin and Vietnamese from me lol, just a bit.

Seem like the baby will be trilingual if learn mom Mandarin, and dad native language.. To me it is very important that the baby know where their dad come from their dad culture and heritage. I just hope 3 languages isn't too much for a baby.


If need live translation, I be more than happy to help. Chinese here & here. Vietnamese here.
LONG& TMI(Regard something my DH did 10 years ago); just so hard for me to understand

Last edited by jasmine31; 02-01-2017 at 02:42 AM.
jasmine31 is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
post #2 of 16 (permalink) Old 01-31-2017, 12:36 PM
Member
 
john117's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2013
Location: Midwest USA
Posts: 11,177
Re: Intercultural marriage. beside English, do your children speak a 2nd or 3rd langu

Choose useful languages... English and Mandarin sounds great. Don't get into a third language right away.
john117 is online now  
post #3 of 16 (permalink) Old 01-31-2017, 01:10 PM
Member
 
Seasong's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: USA
Posts: 210
Re: Intercultural marriage. beside English, do your children speak a 2nd or 3rd langu

I grew up in a trilingual household. Both of my parents are from Europe. I was born in the USA. My father learned my mother's language because he worked in her country.

Then she learned his language because he has family in the States, plus we lived in his country when I was little. We also lived in my mom's country later on, and so I had the best of both worlds.

My ex spoke only English. I raised my children to speak my languages, but they weren't fluent because we moved away from my family. My son has become fluent in my father's language as an adult, and his wife is learning and my grandchild is being raised bilingual.
All of my kids can communicate with relatives in both cultures etc, but only my son immersed himself.

That's my background. Keep teaching your husband! And have him teach you some basics. It's okay if you don't become fluent. My youngest is in high school.

Are you pregnant now?
Seasong is offline  
 
post #4 of 16 (permalink) Old 02-02-2017, 03:22 PM Thread Starter
Member
 
jasmine31's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2016
Location: U.S.
Posts: 59
Re: Intercultural marriage. beside English, do your children speak a 2nd or 3rd langu

Thank you Sir, john117 for your reply, and thank you Ms. Seasong for your reply and sharing your story. Thank you so much.

If need live translation, I be more than happy to help. Chinese here & here. Vietnamese here.
LONG& TMI(Regard something my DH did 10 years ago); just so hard for me to understand

Last edited by jasmine31; 02-02-2017 at 03:30 PM.
jasmine31 is offline  
post #5 of 16 (permalink) Old 02-02-2017, 05:17 PM
Member
 
john117's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2013
Location: Midwest USA
Posts: 11,177
Re: Intercultural marriage. beside English, do your children speak a 2nd or 3rd langu

The operative word is useful languages. If we are talking languages spoken by a few million people in one country and you can't find it on Google Translate then don't bother.

My younger is fully bilingual English and French and graduates in May with a double degree, one in French. Older learning Italian in grad school (PhD language requirement). If we had taught them our native languages it would not be as useful. Most of my relatives speak English, and most of wife's relatives ignore us so
john117 is online now  
post #6 of 16 (permalink) Old 02-02-2017, 05:33 PM
Moderator
 
EleGirl's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: New Mexico
Posts: 31,695
Re: Intercultural marriage. beside English, do your children speak a 2nd or 3rd langu

My mother grew up speaking Italian, then learned English in school since she went to school in the USA. My father taught her Spanish and Japanese. My father spoke/read/wrote 10 languages fluently... the main ones being English, Italian, Spanish, French, German, Russian, Japanese.

In our home we spoke Spanish, Italian and English. My parents did not teach us Japanese because that was how the spoke when they wanted privacy from their 8 children.

With my extended family, we speak English, Italian and Spanish. I married a guy who also speaks English, German and Arabic... but he only uses them with other people. My son and step kids only speak English. Somehow they just did not pick up on the languages.
EleGirl is offline  
post #7 of 16 (permalink) Old 02-02-2017, 08:59 PM
Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 1,515
Re: Intercultural marriage. beside English, do your children speak a 2nd or 3rd langu

MY wife grew up speaking Italian and learned English from her siblings and at school. While I grew up speaking English and am still trying to learn it, I can also speak Tok Pisin (although I'm a bit rusty) and know enough German to get myself into trouble.

I think @john117's suggestions are a good approach.

When our kids were younger, we had them attending formal Italian lessons, which we figured might be useful since almost all of my wife's relatives live in Italy. That said since I don't speak Italian and my wife seldom uses it at home, our 16 year old son barely speaks any Italian. That said our 13 year old daughter is far better at Italian than him, and as it turns out she is also doing very well in learning French and German.
Personal is offline  
post #8 of 16 (permalink) Old 02-02-2017, 09:17 PM
Member
 
john117's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2013
Location: Midwest USA
Posts: 11,177
Re: Intercultural marriage. beside English, do your children speak a 2nd or 3rd langu

The important issue for the kids is to learn English. Regardless of aptitude for anything else. Not to brag 😁 but my kids are both stellar in this area. When I say learn I don't mean read chapter books by age 6. I mean, read Harry Potter (unabridged) by age 7-8. This is an area where multilingual kids often have trouble. Speaking Estonian by age 12 won't do you much good because the SAT is not in Estonian... If you're teaching them familial languages send them to the relatives for a summer. Best way ever. Then have their cousins here too.
john117 is online now  
post #9 of 16 (permalink) Old 02-02-2017, 10:07 PM
Banned
 
Join Date: Apr 2016
Location: UK
Posts: 1,174
Re: Intercultural marriage. beside English, do your children speak a 2nd or 3rd langu

Unless you are going to move to another country, then the main thing is that you all speak good English.
Diana7 is offline  
post #10 of 16 (permalink) Old 02-03-2017, 08:15 AM
Member
 
RandomDude's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2010
Posts: 10,958
Re: Intercultural marriage. beside English, do your children speak a 2nd or 3rd langu

Wish I can claim to be trilingual but everything is broken except for English, ex-wife is quadrilingual, fluent with 2, conversational with the other 2. The rest of my family are at the very least trilingual, though one cousin is septalingual; 7 languages. Current girlfriend is bilingual.

As for my daughter, she's currently only monolingual however I agree with ex-wife that she should learn Mandarin. I agree with John, English and Mandarin are now the two most important languages to learn.

RandomDude is offline  
post #11 of 16 (permalink) Old 02-03-2017, 12:20 PM
Member
 
soccermom2three's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: California
Posts: 2,832
Re: Intercultural marriage. beside English, do your children speak a 2nd or 3rd langu

My mom always said that she wished my grandmother spoke to her and her siblings in spanish. That way she would've learned both spanish and english then taught me and my brother. I really envy those that speak more than one language.
soccermom2three is online now  
post #12 of 16 (permalink) Old 02-04-2017, 11:14 AM
Member
 
Celes's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2015
Posts: 408
Re: Intercultural marriage. beside English, do your children speak a 2nd or 3rd langu

We have no children yet. But I speak 3 languages. My husband speaks only English. Living in America now, I think it would be difficult to teach any children we have the other two languages I know (it's not Spanish and they're not very common or useful where we live).
Celes is offline  
post #13 of 16 (permalink) Old 02-04-2017, 11:24 AM
Member
 
john117's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2013
Location: Midwest USA
Posts: 11,177
Re: Intercultural marriage. beside English, do your children speak a 2nd or 3rd langu

You don't learn a language necessarily for living in the USA 😀

It's mostly for work and opportunity long term in my view... if the relatives speak it even better.
john117 is online now  
post #14 of 16 (permalink) Old 02-04-2017, 12:28 PM
Forum Supporter
 
Haiku's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: United States
Posts: 3,339
Re: Intercultural marriage. beside English, do your children speak a 2nd or 3rd langu

We spoke English and Mandarin in the house.
Our daughter speaks both out of necessity and (poor) French out of interest.

I have no advice on what language your child should speak. I can't imagine why it wouldn't be one of the native household languages.

.........><)))#">
Haiku is offline  
post #15 of 16 (permalink) Old 02-04-2017, 01:06 PM
Member
 
Anonymous07's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2012
Posts: 1,948
Re: Intercultural marriage. beside English, do your children speak a 2nd or 3rd langu

I married into a Hispanic family and we are teaching the kids English and Spanish. Our 3 and a half year old son can speak and understand both languages. Baby girl is spoken to in both languages, but obviously too young to talk. I think it will benefit both of them as they grow up to know 2 languages and I'm glad they're learning.
Anonymous07 is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
Reply

Quick Reply
Message:
Options

Register Now



In order to be able to post messages on Talk About Marriage, you must first register. Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.

Important! Your username will be visible to the public next to anything you post and could show up in search engines like Google. If you are concerned about anonymity, PLEASE choose a username that will not be recognizable to anyone you know.

User Name:
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.

Password:


Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.

Email Address:
OR

Log-in









Human Verification

In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.



Thread Tools Search this Thread
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search



Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Tips for Keeping the Passion Alive in Your Marriage VS Glen Home Page Feature News 1 04-17-2016 04:28 PM
Not A Good Wife Wishes Coping with Infidelity 1001 03-27-2016 12:26 PM
Unrealistic Expectations or Misperceptions about Marriage Mostlycontent General Relationship Discussion 64 01-07-2016 08:10 AM

Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off

 
For the best viewing experience please update your browser to Google Chrome