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post #16 of 18 (permalink) Old 02-04-2017, 08:43 AM
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Re: LADIES...what do you value most?

Originally Posted by _anonymous_ View Post
Ladies, what do you value most? Help me understand what matters most to you and why!

Please rank the following items with 1 being MOST IMPORTANT and higher numbers being LESS IMPORTANT. Again, your explanation for the ranking will be very helpful!

a) Financial security
b) Good relationship (communication, trust, etc.)
c) Good family life (SO good with kids, etc.)
d) Good sex life
e) Good social life (either couples' friends, women's night out, etc.)
f) Something else (wealth, personal career, hobbies, ???)
Financial Security, TRUST and sexual intimacy are all paramount to me.. all are needed or it all falls apart... being able to afford to live, pay our bills, have a stable home life ...without these...the stress would shoot to the heavens, fighting, ruining everything else- even if they were good! ..

The same with physical intimacy.. if he didn't show desire, that need to be close, wanting me...I'd grow cold and angry...and start thinking over the fence, what am I missing! Our communication, sharing our day, inviting the other into our world, talking things over, going forth as a team...without this.. we would start feeling disconnected.. running to others to fill that void.. not good..

So those 3 are on the top for me..

4. Good family life.. time with kids.. taking family vacations.. making treasured memories.. also very important.

5. Social life -this would be the bottom for us.. we both enjoy spending time together.. he has no need for Guys night out -sees a few men at work.. enough buddy time, so he would say..... I was never big on "Girls night out"..... sure I get together with friends occasionally but it's not a fixed "do this so often" type of thing or I miss it terribly...

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post #17 of 18 (permalink) Old 02-04-2017, 09:06 AM
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Re: LADIES...what do you value most?

I would say trust. All of those things, for me, stem from trust. Financial security to us means that we may not have a lot but it is well planned which in turn brings trust and security. A good love life is important but a bad love life brings distrust and low self esteem. I hate to admit it, I am basically in a sexless marriage and no he isn't cheating he just doesn't know how to love. So, I suppose for me all of it is important because one can easily topple the entire thing as all of those things require trust.

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post #18 of 18 (permalink) Old 02-04-2017, 11:07 AM
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Re: LADIES...what do you value most?

I feel emotional security is actually at the top for me. I know my husband will work on issues with me. He won't just leave at the first bump in the road. I am not afraid of sharing my feelings with him, or letting him know I'm upset about something. He accepts my imperfections and works with them. I won't get any silent treatment or yelling (I can't stand yelling). I feel safe with him. I don't know if that falls under "Good relationship" or not. We may have arguments and get pissy with each other. But at the end of the day, I don't worry he might leave me someday if I'm not absolutely perfect. I've had that sort of relationship many times before and never felt like I could truly be myself.

After that I would place financial security and sex at the top. The rest sort of follows.
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