LADIES...what do you value most? - Talk About Marriage
The Ladies' Lounge Sharing and support.

User Tag List

 2Likes
Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools Search this Thread
post #1 of 18 (permalink) Old 02-02-2017, 03:20 PM Thread Starter
Member
 
_anonymous_'s Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2016
Location: Texas
Posts: 79
LADIES...what do you value most?

Ladies, what do you value most? Help me understand what matters most to you and why!

Please rank the following items with 1 being MOST IMPORTANT and higher numbers being LESS IMPORTANT. Again, your explanation for the ranking will be very helpful!

a) Financial security
b) Good relationship (communication, trust, etc.)
c) Good family life (SO good with kids, etc.)
d) Good sex life
e) Good social life (either couples' friends, women's night out, etc.)
f) Something else (wealth, personal career, hobbies, ???)

_anonymous_ is online now  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
post #2 of 18 (permalink) Old 02-02-2017, 03:33 PM
jld
Forum Supporter
 
Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: USA
Posts: 19,580
Re: LADIES...what do you value most?

Quote:
Originally Posted by _anonymous_ View Post
Ladies, what do you value most? Help me understand what matters most to you and why!

Please rank the following items with 1 being MOST IMPORTANT and higher numbers being LESS IMPORTANT. Again, your explanation for the ranking will be very helpful!

a) Financial security
b) Good relationship (communication, trust, etc.)
c) Good family life (SO good with kids, etc.)
d) Good sex life
e) Good social life (either couples' friends, women's night out, etc.)
f) Something else (wealth, personal career, hobbies, ???)
A good relationship is most important to me, followed by financial security. Everything else pretty much flows from that.

One of the deepest feminine pleasures is when a man stands full, present, and unreactive in the midst of his woman's emotional storms. When he stays present with her, and loves her through the layers of wildness and closure, then she feels his trustability, and she can relax. -- David Deida, The Way of the Superior Man
jld is offline  
post #3 of 18 (permalink) Old 02-02-2017, 03:34 PM
Forum Supporter
 
MarriedDude's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2014
Location: ORYGUN
Posts: 1,850
Re: LADIES...what do you value most?

How presumptuous of you.

Most people desire Great things. "Good" is for suckers with no balls

Holes burn deep in your chest,
Raked by machine gun fire.
Screaming soul sent out to die,
Living mandatory suicide.
MarriedDude is offline  
 
post #4 of 18 (permalink) Old 02-02-2017, 04:05 PM Thread Starter
Member
 
_anonymous_'s Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2016
Location: Texas
Posts: 79
Re: LADIES...what do you value most?

Quote:
Originally Posted by MarriedDude View Post
How presumptuous of you. Most people desire Great things.
I just used one adjective versus another. You sound presumptuous, actually.

Quote:
Originally Posted by MarriedDude View Post
Most people desire Great things. "Good" is for suckers with no balls
Sorry to learn how you missed your mark.
_anonymous_ is online now  
post #5 of 18 (permalink) Old 02-02-2017, 04:09 PM
Forum Supporter
 
MarriedDude's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2014
Location: ORYGUN
Posts: 1,850
Re: LADIES...what do you value most?

Quote:
Originally Posted by _anonymous_ View Post
I just used one adjective versus another. You sound presumptuous, actually.



Sorry to learn how you missed your mark.
Oh lordy.

Somebody must be working on a school paper........or attempting to learn how to be a grown up

So...to be clear...your stated position is that "good" is equivalent to "great"? Which seems to ring true given your comment above...

Holes burn deep in your chest,
Raked by machine gun fire.
Screaming soul sent out to die,
Living mandatory suicide.
MarriedDude is offline  
post #6 of 18 (permalink) Old 02-02-2017, 04:43 PM Thread Starter
Member
 
_anonymous_'s Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2016
Location: Texas
Posts: 79
Re: LADIES...what do you value most?

Quote:
Originally Posted by MarriedDude View Post
"good" is equivalent to "great"
Good and great connote positive versus negative, no? Along the lines you're arguing, why stop at "great"? Why not a "terrific" this or that? Or better yet, "exceptional"!

If you were MarriedDudette, this whole back and forth would be more valuable. At least I'd have reached the target gender.
_anonymous_ is online now  
post #7 of 18 (permalink) Old 02-02-2017, 04:53 PM
Forum Supporter
 
MarriedDude's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2014
Location: ORYGUN
Posts: 1,850
Re: LADIES...what do you value most?

Quote:
Originally Posted by _anonymous_ View Post
Good and great connote positive versus negative, no? Along the lines you're arguing, why stop at "great"? Why not a "terrific" this or that? Or better yet, "exceptional"!

If you were MarriedDudette, this whole back and forth would be more valuable. At least I'd have reached the target gender.
So. Is it school Project? I note that you have very few posts...so you want information...and have contributed nothing...

Might as well be upfront

Holes burn deep in your chest,
Raked by machine gun fire.
Screaming soul sent out to die,
Living mandatory suicide.
MarriedDude is offline  
post #8 of 18 (permalink) Old 02-02-2017, 05:13 PM
Moderator
 
EleGirl's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: New Mexico
Posts: 32,295
Re: LADIES...what do you value most?

Quote:
Originally Posted by _anonymous_ View Post
Ladies, what do you value most? Help me understand what matters most to you and why!

Please rank the following items with 1 being MOST IMPORTANT and higher numbers being LESS IMPORTANT. Again, your explanation for the ranking will be very helpful!

a) Financial security
b) Good relationship (communication, trust, etc.)
c) Good family life (SO good with kids, etc.)
d) Good sex life
e) Good social life (either couples' friends, women's night out, etc.)
f) Something else (wealth, personal career, hobbies, ???)
I'll play. And I am start enough to know that in this context good = great.

Good/great relationship. (I do not separate sex from a good/great relationship.)

But financial security is an interesting one. In Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs, Physiological needs are basic (food, water, warmth, rest) and safety (security, safety) are required to exist before a person can consider Psychological needs (Belonging and love needs: intimate relationships & friends).

Iím a realist. In our society a person cannot get their two basic needs and safety needs met without some level of financial security. For most of us that means we need a job/career to meet those. Clearly, a person who is the breadwinner (male or female) must put a lot of value into their job/career to meet the basic and safety needs.

While itís not all that romantic, the truth is that for most people, financial security is what they value the most. It must exist so that they can just live. If you live on the street, are starving, etc. with no means of financial stability, love and a good relationship is going to be way down on your list.
EleGirl is online now  
post #9 of 18 (permalink) Old 02-03-2017, 12:00 AM Thread Starter
Member
 
_anonymous_'s Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2016
Location: Texas
Posts: 79
Re: LADIES...what do you value most?

Quote:
Originally Posted by EleGirl View Post
for most people, financial security is what they value the most. It must exist so that they can just live.
You've summarized this very well, and I tend to agree with you. While the importance of financial security seems a "no-brainer", I didn't understand this when I got married 10 years ago. In retrospect, I have to wonder if the reality "of needing money to live" evades a lot of newly weds who believe love conquers all. Back then, togetherness seemed most important to me and I remember judging my wife for what seemed to be her overly high valuation of income. But in the midst of some financial hardships during the "Great Recession", I realized that these stressors were driving a wedge between husband and wife, and making togetherness quite the feat!
_anonymous_ is online now  
post #10 of 18 (permalink) Old 02-03-2017, 01:54 AM
Moderator
 
EleGirl's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: New Mexico
Posts: 32,295
Re: LADIES...what do you value most?

Quote:
Originally Posted by _anonymous_ View Post
You've summarized this very well, and I tend to agree with you. While the importance of financial security seems a "no-brainer", I didn't understand this when I got married 10 years ago. In retrospect, I have to wonder if the reality "of needing money to live" evades a lot of newly weds who believe love conquers all. Back then, togetherness seemed most important to me and I remember judging my wife for what seemed to be her overly high valuation of income. But in the midst of some financial hardships during the "Great Recession", I realized that these stressors were driving a wedge between husband and wife, and making togetherness quite the feat!
I'm sure that we have all known young couples who believe that love conquers all. Then a few years down the road, they are struggling with a child or two, can hardly make ends meet and their relationship is falling apart because of it.

We get couples struggling with this on TAM as well.

It's sad but a reality of life.

EleGirl is online now  
post #11 of 18 (permalink) Old 02-03-2017, 02:00 AM
Member
 
Justsayin4897's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2016
Location: Hell
Posts: 35
Re: LADIES...what do you value most?

I have to go with B


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
Justsayin4897 is offline  
post #12 of 18 (permalink) Old 02-03-2017, 02:05 AM
Member
 
aine's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: Away and beyond in a hot place
Posts: 2,746
Re: LADIES...what do you value most?

Quote:
Originally Posted by _anonymous_ View Post
Ladies, what do you value most? Help me understand what matters most to you and why!

Please rank the following items with 1 being MOST IMPORTANT and higher numbers being LESS IMPORTANT. Again, your explanation for the ranking will be very helpful!

a) Financial security 4
b) Good relationship (communication, trust, etc.) 1
c) Good family life (SO good with kids, etc.) 2
d) Good sex life 3
e) Good social life (either couples' friends, women's night out, etc.)5
f) Something else (wealth, personal career, hobbies, ???)
6

I think i might have answered differently depending on which stage of life I am at. When I was younger 1 followed by 2 probably. Now I am more secure financially it seems less important in our marriage. Sex would have to be in the top three for me as it is important to the relationship. Obviously family is also very important. My H and I have never had the kind of marriage where we do alot of things with other couples, we are both quite independent and have our own friends, do our own things, it is just the way we are. Occasionally we might attend weddings, company events, or events which his friends or my friends organise but we don't really do the couples thing...which is something to do with our cultural background i guess, he has always done things with his extended family for the most part and I do not live in the country I was born and raised so don't have the roots here that would probably result in the couples thing.

Last edited by aine; 02-03-2017 at 02:14 AM. Reason: to add
aine is offline  
post #13 of 18 (permalink) Old 02-03-2017, 03:19 AM
Member
 
Spicy's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2016
Location: 2 Stars to the right & straight on till morning!
Posts: 638
Re: LADIES...what do you value most?

Quote:
Originally Posted by _anonymous_ View Post
Ladies, what do you value most? Help me understand what matters most to you and why!

Please rank the following items with 1 being MOST IMPORTANT and higher numbers being LESS IMPORTANT. Again, your explanation for the ranking will be very helpful!

5. a) Financial security
3. b) Good relationship (communication, trust, etc.)
2. c) Good family life (SO good with kids, etc.)
4. d) Good sex life
6. e) Good social life (either couples' friends, women's night out, etc.)
1. Him being the spiritual leader for our family, helping to keep us focused on putting God first in our lives, so all other things follow. f) Something else (wealth, personal career, hobbies, ???)

Ciao,

Spicy
Spicy is online now  
post #14 of 18 (permalink) Old 02-03-2017, 07:53 AM Thread Starter
Member
 
_anonymous_'s Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2016
Location: Texas
Posts: 79
Re: LADIES...what do you value most?

Thanks for positing, aine and Spicy. I see a common trend in your replies, where family and relationship are of higher importance than other things that might matter more to others. For me, this is interesting because it resonates with how I believe my wife values things.

If I had to estimate her value system based on what I know of her, it would be:

1) Career
2) Financial security
3) Relationship
4) Family
5) Social life
6) Sex life

I can understand 2-4 getting high importance. I struggle with 1 getting the highest importance, and 5-6 getting such low importance.
_anonymous_ is online now  
post #15 of 18 (permalink) Old 02-03-2017, 08:09 AM
jld
Forum Supporter
 
Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: USA
Posts: 19,580
Re: LADIES...what do you value most?

She invests in what brings her the returns she values most.

One of the deepest feminine pleasures is when a man stands full, present, and unreactive in the midst of his woman's emotional storms. When he stays present with her, and loves her through the layers of wildness and closure, then she feels his trustability, and she can relax. -- David Deida, The Way of the Superior Man
jld is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
Reply

Quick Reply
Message:
Options

Register Now



In order to be able to post messages on Talk About Marriage, you must first register. Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.

Important! Your username will be visible to the public next to anything you post and could show up in search engines like Google. If you are concerned about anonymity, PLEASE choose a username that will not be recognizable to anyone you know.

User Name:
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.

Password:


Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.

Email Address:
OR

Log-in









Human Verification

In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.



Thread Tools Search this Thread
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search



Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Ladies, this question is for you LucasJackson General Relationship Discussion 33 09-04-2016 11:18 PM
Cunilingus- A question for the ladies uxorious Sex in Marriage 28 06-08-2016 02:51 PM
Would You Ladies Date A "Feminine" Man? EllisRedding The Ladies' Lounge 182 05-17-2016 07:19 PM
Ladies, how to handle situation? CuddleBug The Ladies' Lounge 60 04-24-2016 12:10 AM
Ladies: how would you have handled this jdawg2015 The Ladies' Lounge 86 02-19-2016 05:28 AM

Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off

 
For the best viewing experience please update your browser to Google Chrome