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post #1 of 28 (permalink) Old 02-08-2017, 05:14 AM Thread Starter
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Birth control pill and libido

Question for the ladies: How long after stopping the pill do the hormones go back to normal? My wife was on the pill for about 18 or 19 years because it helped with period volume etc. Now she stopped hoping for menopause to come quicker (she's 49)

The pill killed her libido. I'm hoping it comes back. What should I expect as far as her sex drive and menopause?

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post #2 of 28 (permalink) Old 02-08-2017, 11:12 AM
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Re: Birth control pill and libido

I've been on the pill for about 12 years, and my drive is still pretty high (I'm 38). I'm not positive about menopause versus sex drive, so some ladies who have been through or are going through menopause would be better to answer that for you. I do know that the pill (I've been on a couple different brands) hasn't done anything to my drive; getting married is what seems to have killed that! :-S
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post #3 of 28 (permalink) Old 02-08-2017, 01:48 PM
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Re: Birth control pill and libido

Unwise to expect anything.

She may experience a spike, don't count on it lasting, enjoy it while it lasts .

Menopause is a crap shoot, zero libido is a real possibility.
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post #4 of 28 (permalink) Old 02-08-2017, 02:09 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Birth control pill and libido

Thank you for the replies.

I guess it really is different depending on the individual. I'm hoping we (I) can turn it around because lately I've been thinking I don't want to put up with the frequency, which is once a month or so. It's been higher a year ago, around 5-7 times a month but she started complaining and said she felt pressured.

I don't understand, as I could land a younger, hotter, more willing partner. She would have to downgrade. I've improved since we got married, and she has gained quite a bit of weight.

Hopefully things get better.
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post #5 of 28 (permalink) Old 02-08-2017, 02:14 PM
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Re: Birth control pill and libido

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Originally Posted by manwithnoname View Post
Thank you for the replies.

I guess it really is different depending on the individual. I'm hoping we (I) can turn it around because lately I've been thinking I don't want to put up with the frequency, which is once a month or so. It's been higher a year ago, around 5-7 times a month but she started complaining and said she felt pressured.

I don't understand, as I could land a younger, hotter, more willing partner. She would have to downgrade. I've improved since we got married, and she has gained quite a bit of weight.

Hopefully things get better.
Maybe it is your attitude towards her that has impacted her drive.
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post #6 of 28 (permalink) Old 02-08-2017, 02:36 PM
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Re: Birth control pill and libido

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Originally Posted by MrsHolland View Post
Maybe it is your attitude towards her that has impacted her drive.
Yep .

I am fairly doom and gloom on these questions hoping for a libido increase after menopause and / or pill but I gotta go along with your comment as well!
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post #7 of 28 (permalink) Old 02-08-2017, 03:01 PM
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Re: Birth control pill and libido

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Originally Posted by MrsHolland View Post
Quote:
Originally Posted by manwithnoname View Post
Thank you for the replies.

I guess it really is different depending on the individual. I'm hoping we (I) can turn it around because lately I've been thinking I don't want to put up with the frequency, which is once a month or so. It's been higher a year ago, around 5-7 times a month but she started complaining and said she felt pressured.

I don't understand, as I could land a younger, hotter, more willing partner. She would have to downgrade. I've improved since we got married, and she has gained quite a bit of weight.


Hopefully things get better.
Maybe it is your attitude towards her that has impacted her drive.
Uh, YEAH. The OP's statement is rife with condescension. Women don't like to sleep with a man who think's he's doing her a favor by having sex with her, because he thinks he could do better than her.

@manwithnoname, if you think you can do so much better than her, maybe you should let her go and 1) see how quickly you get your PYT, vs 2) how quickly she is snatched up by a better man than you. You might be surprised.

A woman's worth is more than her physical body. A good man knows that.

~Happily un-married since December 9, 2013~
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post #8 of 28 (permalink) Old 02-08-2017, 03:02 PM
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Re: Birth control pill and libido

Quote:
Originally Posted by manwithnoname View Post
Question for the ladies: How long after stopping the pill do the hormones go back to normal? My wife was on the pill for about 18 or 19 years because it helped with period volume etc. Now she stopped hoping for menopause to come quicker (she's 49)

The pill killed her libido. I'm hoping it comes back. What should I expect as far as her sex drive and menopause?
It really depends. She may experience an extreme spike in desire, stay the same, or have her desire plummet even further.

Quote:
Originally Posted by manwithnoname View Post
I don't understand, as I could land a younger, hotter, more willing partner. She would have to downgrade. I've improved since we got married, and she has gained quite a bit of weight.

Hopefully things get better.
Maybe she doesn't want sex very often because she doesn't feel sexy due to her weight gain.

Follow the evidence where it leads and question everything.
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post #9 of 28 (permalink) Old 02-08-2017, 06:33 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Birth control pill and libido

Maybe she doesn't want sex very often because she doesn't feel sexy due to her weight gain.[/QUOTE]



This may have something to do with it. She was also raised a certain way where affection in public, sex, etc. were all discouraged.
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post #10 of 28 (permalink) Old 02-08-2017, 06:36 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Birth control pill and libido

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Originally Posted by MrsHolland View Post
Maybe it is your attitude towards her that has impacted her drive.
Uh...no. I don't have that attitude with her.

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post #11 of 28 (permalink) Old 02-08-2017, 06:43 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Birth control pill and libido

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Originally Posted by FeministInPink View Post
Uh, YEAH. The OP's statement is rife with condescension. Women don't like to sleep with a man who think's he's doing her a favor by having sex with her, because he thinks he could do better than her.

@manwithnoname, if you think you can do so much better than her, maybe you should let her go and 1) see how quickly you get your PYT, vs 2) how quickly she is snatched up by a better man than you. You might be surprised.

A woman's worth is more than her physical body. A good man knows that.

Wow, you read a lot from a statement that I make on here that is not brought up with my wife. I know her worth, I adore her in every way. I'm just saying I get more "interest" than her, it is fact. You don't know us. Typical feminist to attack the man.

I'm regretting putting that line in but at least it got some replies.
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post #12 of 28 (permalink) Old 02-08-2017, 08:00 PM
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Re: Birth control pill and libido

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Originally Posted by manwithnoname View Post
Wow, you read a lot from a statement that I make on here that is not brought up with my wife. I know her worth, I adore her in every way. I'm just saying I get more "interest" than her, it is fact. You don't know us. Typical feminist to attack the man.

I'm regretting putting that line in but at least it got some replies.
“Your beliefs become your thoughts,
Your thoughts become your words,
Your words become your actions,
Your actions become your habits,
Your habits become your values,
Your values become your destiny.”

― Mahatma Gandhi

If you're saying here, then you're thinking it. And if you're thinking it, it's going to come out in your behavior towards her, whether you intend it or not.

If she feels that you don't value her, or if she perceives that you think you have more sexual currency than she does, it is going to affect your relationship. It's not just about your actions, but also her perception of your actions.

I picked up on this statement. @MrsHolland picked up on this statement. Women pick up on these little things. Women like your wife.

Stop being so butt-hurt and think about it for a minute. She says she feels pressured. Why does she feel pressured? Has her libido always been low while on the pill? How is your behavior towards her now different from when her libido was high?

And I didn't call you out because you're a man and I'm a feminist. I call out women just as often I call out men. I called out your condescending statement about your wife.

~Happily un-married since December 9, 2013~
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post #13 of 28 (permalink) Old 02-09-2017, 01:08 AM
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Re: Birth control pill and libido

If you leave her, her libido will rise because it will have to. No other way to get a man. Your acceptance has allowed her to let her libido wain.
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post #14 of 28 (permalink) Old 02-09-2017, 05:13 AM Thread Starter
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Re: Birth control pill and libido

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Originally Posted by WorkingOnMe View Post
If you leave her, her libido will rise because it will have to. No other way to get a man. Your acceptance has allowed her to let her libido wain.
Spot on. But how do I change this?
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post #15 of 28 (permalink) Old 02-09-2017, 05:24 AM Thread Starter
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Re: Birth control pill and libido

Stop being so butt-hurt and think about it for a minute. She says she feels pressured. Why does she feel pressured? Has her libido always been low while on the pill? How is your behavior towards her now different from when her libido was high?



LOL are you a teenager?

She only feels pressured if I initiate too often for her liking. I had lost interest in the past and we had gone one year without intimacy, and she seemed ok with it. She actually thought I had a girlfriend on the side, which is ridiculous.

Her libido was never high, although out of the blue (handful of times in 20 years) she would come to me after a shower with just a bathrobe getting all frisky. Also I was her first and there was no sex before marriage, I figure bringing this up may or may not shed some light on things.

She had difficulty with orgasm but usually I can get her there with my tongue or hand, she says it feels really good then it builds up to great, then pain.

What do you suggest then?
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