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post #16 of 42 (permalink) Old 02-14-2017, 08:38 AM Thread Starter
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Re: Dressing up

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Diana7;17364130]So you do it our of fear of not being noticed? Of becoming invisible? Why do you think that is? Is it an issue of low self esteem or low self worth? Fear of getting old? Do you need/crave that attention you get when you dress up?
Do you know, I am not sure, but you have given me something to think about. You may just be right.

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I wear casual/smart casual clothes most of the time unless I go to a wedding or something. I wear jeans/trousers and jumper in the colder weather, and dresses or knee length trousers and t-shirts in the summer.
I don't wear make up, don't see the point, its not good for the skin and is expensive. I am not out to be noticed, the only person I want to notice me is my husband, and he does. He isnt bothered about make up and likes what I wear. I honestly never worry about what others think, I don't live my life to impress them.
My husband likes the way I look and compliments me. He likes me wearing makeup, I like putting it.

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Getting rid of all you clothes seems very extreme, why would you do that?
[/QUOTE]
Spring is coming and I am reassessing things. I always have a major cull at this time of year. I was wondering whether to quit with the dresses and just have a few practical pieces, like good quality jeans and tshirts.

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post #17 of 42 (permalink) Old 02-14-2017, 08:43 AM
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Re: Dressing up

I love dressing up! I didn't really get the opportunity to do so as we weren't well off and I only had hand-me-downs so now I take every opportunity to dress up. Initially I was turned off that my partner was comfortable looking like a bum but I chose not to make any comments about his attire. I didn't want him to feel I was embarrassed to be with him and I felt for sure he would see how people reacted differently to him versus me

Now I catch him polishing his shoes, spending a little more time mulling over what he's going to wear and sometimes he's hurrying up to change into something nicer when it's obvious I'm better dressed for the occasion. Instead of slouching he sits up a little straighter when we go out and he beams when I tell him how sexy, smart and gentlemanly he looks. He wants to dress up and go to museums and plays whereas before he was content dressing down and going to the bar. I think deep down he loves looking sharp and he's a bit of a fashionista, he's just never had a woman to bring out that side of him.

So keep dressing up. I imagine you something like Kate Winslet in The Dressmaker. Stay fabulous @peacem!
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post #18 of 42 (permalink) Old 02-14-2017, 12:05 PM
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Re: Dressing up

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Originally Posted by Blondilocks View Post
The only answer to their silly questions is "because it makes me feel good". My philosophy is "so many clothes, so little time". Not everyone shops at Walmart nor do they want to look like they belong in one of those youtube videos.

Some woman wouldn't be caught dead running to the bakery in the morning without makeup and properly dressed. It would be showing disrespect to the baker. Maybe we need to start showing more respect for our fellow man by dressing up a little.
How is going to a shop without make up, as we are, disrespectful to the shop keeper?????
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post #19 of 42 (permalink) Old 02-14-2017, 12:06 PM
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Re: Dressing up

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Originally Posted by peacem View Post
Do you know, I am not sure, but you have given me something to think about. You may just be right.


My husband likes the way I look and compliments me. He likes me wearing makeup, I like putting it.


Spring is coming and I am reassessing things. I always have a major cull at this time of year. I was wondering whether to quit with the dresses and just have a few practical pieces, like good quality jeans and tshirts.[/QUOTE]

Yes its quite interesting and illuminating if we can honestly ask ourselves why we do what we do. As I have got older I have got far less concerned about what others think of me and how I look. I wear what I am comfortable in, and I just don't want to paint my face with various chemicals. I have never been one to wear make up more than just very occasionally(my mum was the same as are my 2 daughters) and my husband likes it that way. He would be fine if I wanted to wear it, but isn't worried that I don't.

Dresses are very feminine. I wear them in the warm weather only as I hate wearing tights/panthose.

I guess that for me there is a balance between dressing up a lot and full make up, and not caring. I always make sure my hair is washed and tidy, I match colours, and I wouldn't go roud in sweats etc all the time, but I wouldn't feel relaxed if I felt I had to dress up and put on make up just to go out, it would be a burden to me.

Last edited by Diana7; 02-14-2017 at 12:18 PM.
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post #20 of 42 (permalink) Old 02-14-2017, 12:16 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Dressing up

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Originally Posted by Diana7 View Post
How is going to a shop without make up, as we are, disrespectful to the shop keeper?????
I think she was joking .

BBC News - Tesco ban on shoppers in pyjamas

(Completely unrelated but interesting story about the problem of people wearing pajamas to the supermarket). It got me thinking....wouldn't it be great if some shops had a dress code?

I went to a vintage market in the Summer where everyone dressed up to the nines. Those that didn't really stood out. It was a great shopping experience.
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post #21 of 42 (permalink) Old 02-14-2017, 12:25 PM
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Re: Dressing up

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Originally Posted by peacem View Post
I think she was joking .

BBC News - Tesco ban on shoppers in pyjamas

(Completely unrelated but interesting story about the problem of people wearing pajamas to the supermarket). It got me thinking....wouldn't it be great if some shops had a dress code?

I went to a vintage market in the Summer where everyone dressed up to the nines. Those that didn't really stood out. It was a great shopping experience.
Oh Ok, and I cant understand how anyone could go shopping in their pyjamas, how embarrassing. How long does it take to get dressed, 2 minutes?
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post #22 of 42 (permalink) Old 02-14-2017, 12:35 PM
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Re: Dressing up

I feel best when I feel like I look my best. I feel dowdy without makeup and I will not leave the house without it unless I'm picking up or dropping off my youngest and won't be getting out of the car.

My very first job, back in the mid 70's I was a hostess at a restaurant and we had to wear evening gowns at night and there was a strict dress code for patrons. Unheard of today.

Back in the early 60's no woman with self respect left the house without gloves. I have several pairs of my mother's white leather gloves, white leather evening gloves, and the super daring black leather evening gloves, alas I have no place to wear them.

When someone questions why you're not dressed the way they are, realize that their question comes from their anxiety that you aren't the same as them. Reply with, "I like being dressed up. I simply like it."

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post #23 of 42 (permalink) Old 02-14-2017, 12:44 PM
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Re: Dressing up

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Originally Posted by peacem View Post

So....why does this irritate some people. I went to lunch with my friends last week. We go to a small bistro type place that is fairly expensive. I wore a blue pencil skirt, cashmere jumper, tights and boots. Both my friends asked me if I was going for a job interview ....[sarcastic]....to me I this was a fairly casual winter look. One asked me why I dress up so much?! When I asked what is it about me that looks over-dressed she looked me up and down and said it was the skirt .

This isn't the first time..it seems to happen to me so frequently that it shakes my confidence. I went to a 50th birthday party, it was during the day so I wore a simple navy blue skater dress and small strappy heals - and the first thing someone said to me is 'Why are you wearing a dress? Going somewhere later?'. Do people not dress up for parties anymore?
That's so rude of them to say those comments.

There is nothing wrong with dressing up for occasions, I have more dresses than casual clothes. It's part of the fun of going to these events, the dressing up, getting ready, it makes me feel good and happy!

Your fashion sounds amazing to me, I bet the people saying those comments are a tad jealous.












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post #24 of 42 (permalink) Old 02-14-2017, 12:45 PM
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Re: Dressing up

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Originally Posted by Anon Pink View Post
Back in the early 60's no woman with self respect left the house without gloves. I have several pairs of my mother's white leather gloves, white leather evening gloves, and the super daring black leather evening gloves, alas I have no place to wear them.
Sure you do! Wear them for sex dress up night!! Then peel them off like a stripper for the main event!

Oh wait....they were your mom's so that might not be as sexy.....

Ok never mind, go buy some from a thrift store!

I have some long silk ones in my sex closet.

Remember the goal of feminism: Making sure only alphas get laid!
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post #25 of 42 (permalink) Old 02-14-2017, 01:57 PM
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Re: Dressing up

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Originally Posted by Anon Pink View Post
I feel best when I feel like I look my best. I feel dowdy without makeup and I will not leave the house without it unless I'm picking up or dropping off my youngest and won't be getting out of the car.

My very first job, back in the mid 70's I was a hostess at a restaurant and we had to wear evening gowns at night and there was a strict dress code for patrons. Unheard of today.

Back in the early 60's no woman with self respect left the house without gloves. I have several pairs of my mother's white leather gloves, white leather evening gloves, and the super daring black leather evening gloves, alas I have no place to wear them.

When someone questions why you're not dressed the way they are, realize that their question comes from their anxiety that you aren't the same as them. Reply with, "I like being dressed up. I simply like it."
Why do you feel dowdy without make up? Its just the real you.

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post #26 of 42 (permalink) Old 02-14-2017, 02:31 PM
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Re: Dressing up

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Originally Posted by Diana7 View Post
How is going to a shop without make up, as we are, disrespectful to the shop keeper?????
The baker takes pride in their work. If you show up dressed in sweats and running shoes/plastic flip-flops with your hair in a ratty pony tail and not a trace of even lipstick, they'll get the impression that you're going to take their product and slop the hogs. Then, you won't get the tastiest and prettiest yummies. The same with dining in a restaurant - if you don't want to be seated by the kitchen, then don't show up wearing dirty jeans and a crummy sweatshirt.
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post #27 of 42 (permalink) Old 02-14-2017, 02:46 PM
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Re: Dressing up

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The baker takes pride in their work. If you show up dressed in sweats and running shoes/plastic flip-flops with your hair in a ratty pony tail and not a trace of even lipstick, they'll get the impression that you're going to take their product and slop the hogs. Then, you won't get the tastiest and prettiest yummies. The same with dining in a restaurant - if you don't want to be seated by the kitchen, then don't show up wearing dirty jeans and a crummy sweatshirt.
Yes but you are talking about one extreme or the other. Most of us are somewhere in the middle.
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post #28 of 42 (permalink) Old 02-14-2017, 02:57 PM
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Re: Dressing up

I live in an affluent part of San Diego. In my little area, you'll see men and women dressed mostly in jeans and some sort of faded t-shirt or other crappy shirt. That's your 'middle'. I garden in better clothes.
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post #29 of 42 (permalink) Old 02-14-2017, 02:57 PM
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Re: Dressing up

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Why do you feel dowdy without make up? Its just the real you.
The real me also tends to stink if I don't bathe often enough, which is why I bathe frequently. The real me has stinky arm pits, which is why I use deodorant. The real me has dry flaky skin which is why I moisturize everywhere every day, sometimes more. The real me feels most comfortable when I'm putting my best foot forward.

Your question is a perfect example of someone who puts little effort into their own appearance and feels judged because of it, so she preemptively judges others for putting forth effort.

"Some women are blessed with multi-orgasmic ability for a reason and I'm damn sure not going to waste a blessing" ~FrenchFry


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post #30 of 42 (permalink) Old 02-14-2017, 03:38 PM
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Re: Dressing up

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Originally Posted by peacem View Post
Again, we go to theater fairly regularly and everyone wears jeans and hoodies. I always wear a dress and a smart jacket. My sister once told me I was over-dressed. But if I am paying £30 for a ticket, I want to make an evening of it if that makes sense (particularly as I am a SAHM, you make those opportunities count).
I totally get this.. you probably don't get out too much.. so when you do.. you want to look your best... you look forward to a night out !

I love dresses too.. always did.. just be yourself.... if you show friendliness, a pleasant attitude wherever you go.. even if a little over dressed (in their minds).. these things would quickly fade into the background...do you find that the case.. even if the comments come on when you 1st arrive ??
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