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post #31 of 42 (permalink) Old 02-14-2017, 04:00 PM
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Re: Dressing up

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Originally Posted by Blondilocks View Post
I live in an affluent part of San Diego. In my little area, you'll see men and women dressed mostly in jeans and some sort of faded t-shirt or other crappy shirt. That's your 'middle'. I garden in better clothes.
Not that's not my middle. I wear clean casual/smart casual clothes.

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post #32 of 42 (permalink) Old 02-14-2017, 04:09 PM
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Re: Dressing up

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The real me also tends to stink if I don't bathe often enough, which is why I bathe frequently. The real me has stinky arm pits, which is why I use deodorant. The real me has dry flaky skin which is why I moisturize everywhere every day, sometimes more. The real me feels most comfortable when I'm putting my best foot forward.

Your question is a perfect example of someone who puts little effort into their own appearance and feels judged because of it, so she preemptively judges others for putting forth effort.
I was taking about the fact that you said you feel dowdy without make up. Not sure how that changed to personal hygiene?
No I don't feel judged at all. I don't wear make up because I don't see the point in putting all those chemicals on my face.I certainly don't feel dowdy without it and I think its sad that some women do. I wish they could like themselves and feel valued as they are. I also have a husband who loves me as I am and loves my face as it is.
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post #33 of 42 (permalink) Old 02-14-2017, 04:22 PM
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Re: Dressing up

I used to wear three piece suits and would not think of going to a restaurant without a suit and tie on. Could be due to the social circle I travelled with as all of my friends did the same. I would buy my wife a new dress every time we went out to a party or new club. She had a large walk-in closet filled with dresses from very conservative to club ****ty.

We used to live in NYC so there were plenty of places you could wear a dress and it was expected. Now we moved to a rural area and shorts and a top with sandals is all that is required. To find a dress up restaurant we would have to travel two towns over and even then, there is just one place where people dress up. None of the 100+ restaurants around here require you to dress up and due to being tropical, you rarely see a dress or suit. Shorts or capris for the women with a nice blouse is more than acceptable wear.

We went to a wedding last year as well as some anniversary parties. Shorts and a top was the dress code for most. Some guys wore long pants but they are the same guys who never wear shorts or outside of the pants shirts due to living in the 1940's. The tropical weather dictates that we dress for comfort and I do. I used to have a closet filled with suits and long pants. Now I just have one pair of black Dockers and no suits at all. For formal occasions I wear a Ralph Laurent Polo shirt, tan shorts and black New Balance sneakers. That is as dressed up as I have gotten in the last 6 years. I have not seen my wife in a dress for the last 6 years too and she has some very expensive and beautiful dresses. Even some sexy ones that draw attention from all the guys. Now they are just collecting dust. Capris and a blouse is what she wears. She had not worn high heeled shoes in the last 6 years either. Has a $5000 mink stole that she ended up giving away. I only wear shorts and a tee shirt every day. I have 6 pairs of the same shorts and about 20 graphic tees with about 30 polo shirts. I do not own a pair of shoes, just sandals and sneakers.

The world is changing. My company used to insist on business wear but now jeans and whatever else you want to wear is OK. Times change. I remember a time when all men wore hats. You were not dressed properly if you did not wear a hat.

Many prefer to drown in a pool of their own morality rather than seek the safety of a different morality.
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post #34 of 42 (permalink) Old 02-14-2017, 04:37 PM
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Re: Dressing up

Another male perspective, About the time I was 40 I stopped wearing polo shirts completely. I've been known to wear a tee on occasion but it is usually because I'm working in the heat and I took off the button up shirt I was wearing over it. I prefer long sleeves but wear short in the summer. If I'm wearing a suit or jacket or sweater I will go ahead and wear a tie with it. I really think it is for me a matter of age. I had to go out and buy a pair of Jeans a few years ago just to fit in with a group of younger men I was volunteering with.
My Community leans to cowboy. I've never owned a pair of Cowboy boots.
Oh, and @Vinnydee I wear a hat if I'm outdoors, never a ball cap, rarely a cowboy.

Last edited by Mr. Nail; 02-14-2017 at 04:42 PM.
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post #35 of 42 (permalink) Old 02-14-2017, 06:44 PM
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Re: Dressing up

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I was taking about the fact that you said you feel dowdy without make up. Not sure how that changed to personal hygiene?
No I don't feel judged at all. I don't wear make up because I don't see the point in putting all those chemicals on my face.I certainly don't feel dowdy without it and I think its sad that some women do. I wish they could like themselves and feel valued as they are. I also have a husband who loves me as I am and loves my face as it is.



You wanted to know why "just being the real me" would cause me to feel dowdy. I explained.

If anyone puts on make up so that their husband will love them, they've already lost him and I think women know that. You suggesting otherwise is insulting to women.

To suggest women who wear make up or take pleasure in dressing up don't value themselves is also insulting.

To suggest make up (and you didn't qualify your statement so it must be assumed to mean all make up) is unhealthy for skin is not only wrong but...insulting to women assuming we would happily destroy our skin in order to pinker our cheeks.

To attempt to disguise your judginess with false concern is also insulting.

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post #36 of 42 (permalink) Old 02-14-2017, 10:14 PM
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Re: Dressing up

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This is almost exactly the dress I wore in terms of shape and colour

**Textured Skater Dress by Oh My Love - Topshop

(I would consider this a smart but dressed down look).


Anyone else like to dress up?
Nice dress, I think you should continue to dress up as you like and enjoy it as well.

My wife and I had a friend who died 2 years ago when she was 77, yet despite living in a remote rural town she always dressed very well, without any care for what others thought.

My wife also dresses well and I am very happy that she does.

Last edited by Personal; 02-16-2017 at 08:21 PM.
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post #37 of 42 (permalink) Old 02-15-2017, 06:50 AM
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Re: Dressing up

I think those questions are incredibly rude. I used to get the same sort of remarks from my so-called friends. I don't dress up a lot anymore outside of work, but back in the day I always took care with what I wore. I remember one of my friends, when we were going to look at an apartment with other friend, asked me with disdain, why do you always dress up? We're just looking at apartments. I am not sure if she thought I was trying to show her up or what. But I agree with the others who say that it is insecurity on the others' part when they ask you questions like these. I find it incredibly offensive. Dress like you want! If it makes you feel good, do it. Don't ever let anyone else's insecurities or asinine questions sway you from being you.
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post #38 of 42 (permalink) Old 02-15-2017, 06:51 AM
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Re: Dressing up

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Originally Posted by Personal View Post
Nice dress, I think you should continue to dress up as you like and enjoy it as well.

My wife and I had a friend who died 2 years ago when she was 77, yet despite living in a remote rural town she always dressed very well, without any care for what others thought.

As shown below my wife also dresses well and I am very happy that she does.


Portmans - pic taken 2008


Review - pic taken 2011


Target - pic taken 2011


Review - pic taken last year


Lindy Bop - pic taken last month
I like your wife's style. Very feminine.
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post #39 of 42 (permalink) Old 02-16-2017, 10:09 AM
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Re: Dressing up

I dress nicely when I go out. I like being feminine and pretty. And people do treat you better when you are dressed nicely. Impressions do count.
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post #40 of 42 (permalink) Old 02-16-2017, 10:43 AM
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Re: Dressing up

We live at the beach, a major tourist destination. Most people wear shorts, sandals, and t-shirts year round, appropriately, or (IMO, usually) not.

We tend to dress nicely compared to the usual for this area. Fortunately, we don't get negative comments.

To me, dressing nicely is a sign of respect and appreciation for each other, and shows respect and appreciation for the place and people we're visiting.


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post #41 of 42 (permalink) Old 02-16-2017, 11:02 AM
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Re: Dressing up

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Originally Posted by Personal View Post
Nice dress, I think you should continue to dress up as you like and enjoy it as well.

My wife and I had a friend who died 2 years ago when she was 77, yet despite living in a remote rural town she always dressed very well, without any care for what others thought.

As shown below my wife also dresses well and I am very happy that she does.


Portmans - pic taken 2008


Review - pic taken 2011


Target - pic taken 2011


Review - pic taken last year


Lindy Bop - pic taken last month
yes I wear dresses like that in the warmer weather. I Like to be feminine.
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post #42 of 42 (permalink) Old 02-16-2017, 11:09 AM
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Re: Dressing up

I think that we all have very different ideas here of what dressing up is. I wear feminine dresses all summer, some full length and some just below the knee, I don't see that as dressing up, just staying cool as trousers would be too warm. I would never go out in dirty clothes or tatty clothes, or with my hair unbrushed or dirty etc, but for me 'dressing up' is what I may do for a wedding for example or for a big evening event.
For every day life I like to look nice but comfortable, and not have to spend an hour getting dressed and made up just to go shopping.
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