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post #1 of 42 (permalink) Old 02-14-2017, 04:28 AM Thread Starter
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Dressing up

My children are nearly grown up now, but since they were little I had a bit of a renaissance regarding fashion and makeup. I went from the grungy student look of the 90's to really enjoying looking the best I can. I was the mother in the playground with hair and makeup done, heals, skirts and dresses. I don't even go grocery shopping without a bit of effort. As I get older jeans are mainly for around the house and I prefer skirts and boots when I go out. I LOVE wearing makeup and will apply even if I am not going anywhere - just because.

So....why does this irritate some people. I went to lunch with my friends last week. We go to a small bistro type place that is fairly expensive. I wore a blue pencil skirt, cashmere jumper, tights and boots. Both my friends asked me if I was going for a job interview ....[sarcastic]....to me I this was a fairly casual winter look. One asked me why I dress up so much?! When I asked what is it about me that looks over-dressed she looked me up and down and said it was the skirt .

This isn't the first time..it seems to happen to me so frequently that it shakes my confidence. I went to a 50th birthday party, it was during the day so I wore a simple navy blue skater dress and small strappy heals - and the first thing someone said to me is 'Why are you wearing a dress? Going somewhere later?'. Do people not dress up for parties anymore?

This is almost exactly the dress I wore in terms of shape and colour

**Textured Skater Dress by Oh My Love - Topshop

(I would consider this a smart but dressed down look).


Anyone else like to dress up?

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post #2 of 42 (permalink) Old 02-14-2017, 04:41 AM
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Re: Dressing up

Very cute dress, I would say that is perfect for a day event, not overly dressy at all.

I love everything from jeans and t shirt to evening wear. Not a pair of track suit pants in my wardrobe but I do have some very comfy around the house tops. I wear make up most days but my hair is too much like hard work for everyday so it is often in a ponytail or up do. At work I wear middle of the road type of styles as it is not the type of place to be too flashy, nice pants and top and mid height wedges.

Can't say I have ever experienced the type of comments you are mentioning, usually I get compliments from the both men and women when I dress up. I also compliment others when they are dressed up.
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post #3 of 42 (permalink) Old 02-14-2017, 05:42 AM Thread Starter
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Re: Dressing up

I think for me its a fear of completely disappearing into the background (as I get older) but at the same time I don't quite have the confidence to deal with the attention.

I think because I have always been a SAHM I would sometimes feel sad when people just give up (but obviously it is their choice). It seemed very important to me to look nice when the kids came out of school, and have now gotten into a habit of dressing up everyday.

I am looking at my wardrobe today and thinking of clearing the whole thing out and starting again. Going back to basics...good fitting jeans, t shirts and jumpers.
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post #4 of 42 (permalink) Old 02-14-2017, 05:45 AM
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Re: Dressing up

Where do you live? Is it the area you live in that maybe is not very dress up? I live where if you dress up you may get asked if you are going to an interview. The vibe is very casual here and people wear pajamas as outer wear. They also wear furry hats, kilts, logger shirts, biker boots and hoodies.

When I wear my classy or cutesy dress up clothes I usually get asked what's the special occasion.

Most of the parties or events I go to would be attended by people who dress more like I do for those events (slacks, skirts, or dresses) but the main culture around here is so casual that most people don't dress like this often enough for it not to seem overdressed in most circumstances.

I enjoy being the only one dressed up sometimes. Other times I just feel over dressed, but I've learned pretty well when to tone it down just a little so I can still wear something that suits me in fancy-ness but not get a lot of questions about whether I'm off to an interview or something.

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post #5 of 42 (permalink) Old 02-14-2017, 05:47 AM
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Re: Dressing up

I have seen people wearing jeans at the Opera and I do find that odd but each to their own. Personally I enjoy buying and wearing nice dresses, MrH appreciates it too
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post #6 of 42 (permalink) Old 02-14-2017, 05:50 AM
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Re: Dressing up

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Originally Posted by Faithful Wife View Post
Where do you live? Is it the area you live in that maybe is not very dress up? I live where if you dress up you may get asked if you are going to an interview. The vibe is very casual here and people wear pajamas as outer wear. They also wear furry hats, kilts, logger shirts, biker boots and hoodies.

When I wear my classy or cutesy dress up clothes I usually get asked what's the special occasion.

Most of the parties or events I go to would be attended by people who dress more like I do for those events (slacks, skirts, or dresses) but the main culture around here is so casual that most people don't dress like this often enough for it not to seem overdressed in most circumstances.

I enjoy being the only one dressed up sometimes. Other times I just feel over dressed, but I've learned pretty well when to tone it down just a little so I can still wear something that suits me in fancy-ness but not get a lot of questions about whether I'm off to an interview or something.
Yes maybe it is location dependent. I live in a big city that is very fashion minded.
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post #7 of 42 (permalink) Old 02-14-2017, 06:16 AM Thread Starter
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Re: Dressing up

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I have seen people wearing jeans at the Opera and I do find that odd but each to their own. Personally I enjoy buying and wearing nice dresses, MrH appreciates it too
Again, we go to theater fairly regularly and everyone wears jeans and hoodies. I always wear a dress and a smart jacket. My sister once told me I was over-dressed. But if I am paying £30 for a ticket, I want to make an evening of it if that makes sense (particularly as I am a SAHM, you make those opportunities count).
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post #8 of 42 (permalink) Old 02-14-2017, 06:20 AM Thread Starter
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Re: Dressing up

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Originally Posted by Faithful Wife View Post
Where do you live? Is it the area you live in that maybe is not very dress up? I live where if you dress up you may get asked if you are going to an interview. The vibe is very casual here and people wear pajamas as outer wear. They also wear furry hats, kilts, logger shirts, biker boots and hoodies.

When I wear my classy or cutesy dress up clothes I usually get asked what's the special occasion.

Most of the parties or events I go to would be attended by people who dress more like I do for those events (slacks, skirts, or dresses) but the main culture around here is so casual that most people don't dress like this often enough for it not to seem overdressed in most circumstances.

I enjoy being the only one dressed up sometimes. Other times I just feel over dressed, but I've learned pretty well when to tone it down just a little so I can still wear something that suits me in fancy-ness but not get a lot of questions about whether I'm off to an interview or something.
I think you have nailed it. There was even some controversy about parents dropping their children off at school in pajamas. Its not unusual to see people shopping in the supermarket in a dressing gown or onesie. Its a fairly run down, working class town, hoodies, jeans, sportswear.....maybe I need to keep my clothes and just move? Or be a trend setter....
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post #9 of 42 (permalink) Old 02-14-2017, 06:48 AM
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Re: Dressing up

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I think for me its a fear of completely disappearing into the background (as I get older) but at the same time I don't quite have the confidence to deal with the attention.

I think because I have always been a SAHM I would sometimes feel sad when people just give up (but obviously it is their choice). It seemed very important to me to look nice when the kids came out of school, and have now gotten into a habit of dressing up everyday.

I am looking at my wardrobe today and thinking of clearing the whole thing out and starting again. Going back to basics...good fitting jeans, t shirts and jumpers.
So you do it our of fear of not being noticed? Of becoming invisible? Why do you think that is? Is it an issue of low self esteem or low self worth? Fear of getting old? Do you need/crave that attention you get when you dress up?

I wear casual/smart casual clothes most of the time unless I go to a wedding or something. I wear jeans/trousers and jumper in the colder weather, and dresses or knee length trousers and t-shirts in the summer.
I don't wear make up, don't see the point, its not good for the skin and is expensive. I am not out to be noticed, the only person I want to notice me is my husband, and he does. He isnt bothered about make up and likes what I wear. I honestly never worry about what others think, I don't live my life to impress them.

Getting rid of all you clothes seems very extreme, why would you do that?

Last edited by Diana7; 02-14-2017 at 06:52 AM.
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post #10 of 42 (permalink) Old 02-14-2017, 07:26 AM
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Re: Dressing up

The love and respect the hell out of women who still dress up. When I see someone who is always dressed nicely I think that they just really have their sh*t together.

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post #11 of 42 (permalink) Old 02-14-2017, 07:38 AM
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post #12 of 42 (permalink) Old 02-14-2017, 07:42 AM
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Re: Dressing up

There is nothing better than a woman who wants to look good for herself and her family.I think what you are seeing is insecurity in some people,they refuse to make any effort and feel bad about themselves when they see someone that does.They try to drag everyone down to their level.If it makes you happy,dress exactly how you want and to hell with the begrudgers.
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post #13 of 42 (permalink) Old 02-14-2017, 07:52 AM
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Re: Dressing up

The only answer to their silly questions is "because it makes me feel good". My philosophy is "so many clothes, so little time". Not everyone shops at Walmart nor do they want to look like they belong in one of those youtube videos.

Some woman wouldn't be caught dead running to the bakery in the morning without makeup and properly dressed. It would be showing disrespect to the baker. Maybe we need to start showing more respect for our fellow man by dressing up a little.
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post #14 of 42 (permalink) Old 02-14-2017, 07:58 AM
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Re: Dressing up

Good for you for dressing like you want! I always envy women that do that; it just seems like they have it together and they take the time to care!

Will you come & be my fashion instructor!? I would love to have someone that has fashion sense to help me!

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post #15 of 42 (permalink) Old 02-14-2017, 08:17 AM
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Re: Dressing up

I wear nice clothes. It's my thing. Putting color and fashionable clothing together that fits well is like art to me. Don't care what ppl say. I grew up poor and spent my 20s pregnant or nursing so yeah, I'm gonna live it up now.
Go for it, sister! And why would a friend care what you wear. People can't handle different, and it's their problem.
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