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post #1 of 12 (permalink) Old 02-16-2017, 07:51 AM Thread Starter
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Something important

So for the next few days I'm doing something very important to me. Many of the people in my life - well, some friends and co-workers, are not being as supportive and dare I say excited for me. My family is. But my two best friends are more like whatever. And it hurts. I don't know if they think I'm crazy or if they're jealous or who the hell knows...

It is in an Olympic sport that I love and I will get paid for it. This is my second part time job and I know one friend who wonders why I do this if we don't need the money. I am not a person who sits at home watching TV all the time. Plus, I really like to be involved in this sport.

No one seems to understand. Hubby and kids are proud. Should that be enough for me?

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post #2 of 12 (permalink) Old 02-16-2017, 07:54 AM
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Re: Something important

It may have to be enough, since your aren't getting the support you'd like from friends and coworkers. Perhaps they are envious of you ability and motivation (especially if they lack the same), and so don't feel good enough about themselves to be happy for you.

Love is an ideal thing; marriage is a real thing; a confusion of the real with the ideal never goes unpunished. - Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

CELIBACY IS NOT HEREDITARY.
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post #3 of 12 (permalink) Old 02-16-2017, 08:05 AM
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Re: Something important

Katie,

you must learn to appreciate self achievements without the recognition of others, the intrinsic value of what you are doing should bring joy without accolades...otherwise you will find only disappointment.
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post #4 of 12 (permalink) Old 02-16-2017, 08:13 AM Thread Starter
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Re: Something important

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Originally Posted by Xenote View Post
Katie,

you must learn to appreciate self achievements without the recognition of others, the intrinsic value of what you are doing should bring joy without accolades...otherwise you will find only disappointment.
Oh it does bring me joy. I'm going to do what makes my heart sing. It would just be nice if my BEST FRIENDS were happy for me doing that.
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post #5 of 12 (permalink) Old 02-16-2017, 08:19 AM
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Re: Something important

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Oh it does bring me joy. I'm going to do what makes my heart sing. It would just be nice if my BEST FRIENDS were happy for me doing that.
absolutely agree with you...it would be nice if those you cherish as close friends would be supportive and happy for you, but consider this...some people if close friends can be jealous or bothered because what you are doing they are not, and perhaps they are reflective of that. that is why i say do it for the love of it without expectation....you will never be disappointed that way.
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post #6 of 12 (permalink) Old 02-16-2017, 08:57 AM
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Re: Something important

Often the issue is that your friends are unhappy with their situation and your happiness and success reminds them of that.
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post #7 of 12 (permalink) Old 02-16-2017, 09:08 AM Thread Starter
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Re: Something important

[QUOTE=blueinbr;17377618]Often the issue is that your friends are unhappy with their situation and your happiness and success reminds them of that.[/QUOTE

You know...I think they're happy, they just don't understand.
This job isn't an easy thing to do and when you do it wrong you get yelled at (think college basketball officials getting yelled at by coaches) but it's very fulfilling. You have to have an element of fearlessness. Many of my friends don't have this. It's something I don't understand very well. I don't understand not working towards something.

My Mom (at age 72) is also going to climb Mt. McKinley this summer. We just set goals and go for it. That is where I get it from. But even if people don't understand another's goal you can still support it. Ya know?
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post #8 of 12 (permalink) Old 02-16-2017, 09:13 AM
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Re: Something important

It's sad that they're not more supportive.

And not to say that you're doing this, but take a look at how you are supporting those same people. Are you good at listening to them? Do you follow-up on things that are going on in their lives? Do you take an interest in what they're doing? If YOU are a good friend, then it might just mean that they're not very good at being friends. Some people suck at being friends because it's all about them. If YOU are NOT being a good friend, then that's something that you can work on.

"Life always offers you a second chance. It's called tomorrow."
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post #9 of 12 (permalink) Old 02-16-2017, 09:15 AM
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Re: Something important

So you want more empathy, even if you are already getting some from husband. After reading @katiecrna 's thread I understand that and also understand why you expected it from your best friends. But really what I am dying to know, is what is the event you are going to participate in?

Any way I had an applicable thought this morning. My wife and I are involved in a health improvement program through her employer. At first she had a very bad attitude and didn't want to get involved, but a coworker showed her the ropes and got her excited. Now she works in a different department. This year she just doesn't seem excited. This morning I thought it is because she doesn't have a goal in life that really needs an improved health status to accomplish. My involvement in scouting and my desire to do some serious hiking has got me motivated because as a 50 something overweight diabetic, it simply wouldn't be safe for me to do those things. She doesn't really need to be healthier to do the things she enjoys. in fact she would happily save up the money for an all terrain vehicle so she could support my hikes. But actually doing the hiking isn't her interest. She is interested in music and literature.

So your post now has me thinking it has to do a bit with not having a girlfriend to talk to about it. Perhaps she should contact her old coworker?
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post #10 of 12 (permalink) Old 02-16-2017, 09:28 AM Thread Starter
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Re: Something important

I think I'm a good friend. I am more of the listener than the talker.

I can't say what I'm doing because it's so specialized it would not be hard to find out who I am... and I like my anonymity here

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post #11 of 12 (permalink) Old 02-16-2017, 04:25 PM
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Re: Something important

[quote=katies;17377658]
Quote:
Originally Posted by blueinbr View Post
Often the issue is that your friends are unhappy with their situation and your happiness and success reminds them of that.[/QUOTE

You know...I think they're happy, they just don't understand.
This job isn't an easy thing to do and when you do it wrong you get yelled at (think college basketball officials getting yelled at by coaches) but it's very fulfilling. You have to have an element of fearlessness. Many of my friends don't have this. It's something I don't understand very well. I don't understand not working towards something.

My Mom (at age 72) is also going to climb Mt. McKinley this summer. We just set goals and go for it. That is where I get it from. But even if people don't understand another's goal you can still support it. Ya know?
Not everyone has physically challenging goals such as pushing ourselves in high competition, or the desire to conquer a Mountain peak.... you say you do not understand this from other people..

Some of your friends goals may be much smaller in comparison, even silent, unnoticed, possibly even "internal" goals, where there is no pats on the back or outward support... but to them...still very important... just another perspective is all..

Like me...I certainly feel it's important to stay healthy, but beyond that.. I wouldn't even entertain climbing a mountain.. I'd find something like that pure aggravation, I would hate every minute of it, especially if it was risky and dangerous.. then I would even think it was foolish. ....

Though it's great enjoyment to kick back & watch the Olympics, these people are AMAZING... but WOW ...the sacrifice to get there , for them, their families... Truly they deserve praise !

Are you saying you have a part time job that is a specialized sport -that Olympian's participate in, that you are reaching for this height someday yourself ?

Yes.. good friends should be there to support you...rally behind you.. want to see you do your best... friendship wouldn't be worth much without this.... just as you would be there to support them in their smaller endeavors...

Co-workers.. that's a mixed bag... can't really expect them for much support.. they are just people we are thrown in with on a job... some like us.. some don't...

Sounds you have your husband, kids and family rooting for you ... you are doing something you love & enjoy... that's all that matters !
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post #12 of 12 (permalink) Old 02-16-2017, 10:21 PM
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Re: Something important

Quote:
Originally Posted by katies View Post
I think I'm a good friend. I am more of the listener than the talker.

I can't say what I'm doing because it's so specialized it would not be hard to find out who I am... and I like my anonymity here
So either you referee roman greco wrestling, or you are into curling. <EG>
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