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Sensitive clit?

6K views 39 replies 17 participants last post by  bbad 
#1 ·
Looking for some insight on something I've dealt with in the past.

My ex wife could not handle direct stimulation on her clitoris, especially by me (oral or manual), as it would cause her pain or discomfort. She was like this for the decade and a half we were together. As she was not orgasmic via PIV, you can imagine we didn't have that great of a sex life. But, she still wanted it, and would initiate a good chunk of the time.

I don't recall her ever trying anything that numbed the sensitivity, like a cream or anything, unfortunately. She would also reach clitoral orgasm with the use of a vibrator, but she wouldn't place it directly on her clit, rather in the folds of the labia.

My question is - is this a not-uncommon thing amongst women? For those of you who may have something similar, what do you do, sexually (particularly if you're not PIV orgasmic)? Can it/does it go away?

We made do for all those years, but it was clear she was not satisfied. On more than one occasion, she turned down sex, only to masturbate within a short period of time afterwards. Yet she also still initiated sex fairly regularly, too.

Lastly (and this will go down a rabbit hole, I'm sure), she did have at least one PA, and probably 2 or 3 TBH, when we were together. She's also since remarried. I guess I'm wondering how she's maintained a decent sex life (she also couldn't do oral, due to TMJ, lockjaw. Real, I saw it firsthand numerous times)

I'm not sitting here hoping she doesn't have a good sex life, or anything like that - I'm genuinely curious as to how those of you women who may experience something similar get by, and/or maintain a mutually satisfying sex life with your partner(s). From my experience with her, her limitations did not exactly provide me with a satisfying sex life, either.
 
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#2 ·
I would say mine is sensitive. My husband just learned (from me) where to put his tongue and at what pressure. For me, light pressure was always best. As for a finger... it would hurt so bad if you put it directly on my clit. For me it feels better to put your finger right next to it, so your still touching it but not directly on it. And after I have an orgasm there is no way you could touch it because it's super sensitive. However because of this sensitivity I orgasm pretty easy.
 
#3 ·
Okay, cool. I think hers was probably more sensitive than what you're describing, as nothing could touch it directly, including her own fingers. We tried the 'light touching', but it was the same thing. Same with touching next to it - the fear of my finger or tongue (or whatever) hitting it wouldn't allow her to relax and let go.

I do think some of it was somewhat mental, however. Not that it didn't hurt her, more that the thought of accidentally touching it too hard, or at all, would cause her to want to stay away from it altogether. Using a vibrator on herself allowed her to monitor pressure, speed etc.

I just wonder how common this is, and what women who have this issue do to enjoy sex. I know orgasms aren't always the be-all, end-all, but still.
 
#19 ·
The other side of this coin happens too. Some men don't want their wife to tell them exactly what they need. Some get angry if their wife does this.

So, this is might be good in that it might help those types of men realize that listening when their wife tells them exactly what works for her sexually, it might be good to listen. She just might be the only person in the world that knows what she needs and she's trying to share that with the man who should care about it.
 
#6 ·
I am a strong feminist women. I always joke and say "feminist do it better."
I don't have a perfect body, not even close. But I am not shy at all. This is my body and I love it, I have to Bc it's the only one I have. I love sex, I love to orgasm. When I have sex, I do it with the expectation to orgasm. To me... that's the point. (Sorry if that makes people mad but sex without an orgasm sucks). I believe that no means no, and more importantly I believe yes means yes. If I don't want to have sex with you I won't. I don't believe in dutiful sex. When I want to have sex... I want to have sex. When I say yes, I want to have sex. When I have sex I'm in it to win it... not to sit their and not enjoy myself. That's the way I am. Some people think this is selfish. But if I am going to have sex... I do it for a reason, because I want to have an orgasm. It's the best feeling and stress reliever in the world. When my husband finishes before me, he knows that he has to finish me off. That's the way I have always been since day one. I set the standard... if you cum, then I have to cum.
 
#20 ·
The men are taken to the Well.

The men are taken to the Well and forced to drink.

The men are taken to the Fountainhead and are obliged to Worship.

The men are taken to the Fountainhead and are forced to avoid direct contact with the robed Deity. The pretty gem ensconced in the center.
.....No direct eye contact. The eyes have lashes that stimulate, THAT. That..who will not suffer insolence from a lesser God. A lesser God with one horn protruding.
.....The men's heads are bowed, no smile, no disrespecting jutting tongue, just a look and copious forethought, no foreplay. A rather, no lather, obliged Admiration, given as an Offering.
.....No Incense lit, no smoke up the butt. Obey or suffer her Incense... Git er on...Git her off.

The men are taken to the Well and if they do not Obey....they are drowned.
 
#7 ·
Of the women I've had sex with (20), only one was that sensitive. She had a very small clit and any direct stimulation was too much. But licking or gently rubbing the shaft of her clit or just around it was what she needed to O.

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#10 ·
My ex wife also had a very small clit, FWIW. Probably no correlation, though.

She was obviously able to orgasm from stimulation around the area, but she never really let me do it. I suppose because she wasn't in control, and as I said before, just her knowing the possibility existed of me accidentally making direct contact would cause the whole thing to not be enjoyable. I have sensitive areas around my lower back, so when I know somebody may touch it (like during a massage) I tense up.
 
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#8 ·
Remember, the clitoris is not just the tiny button, it is a horseshoe shaped organ. I cannot tolerate any direct touching of the tip of my clitoris. Pressure in the folds, or above is fine. You are still stimulating the clit!

I orgasm from piv, so that is not a problem.

Never understood vibrators, the thought of one of those things touching my button makes my whole body clench.
 
#16 ·
I've always been very sensitive also, but not to the point of pain.

In my case I need a firmer touch, anything light or teasing just tickles and is unbearable. Firm pressure, particularly around the clit.... or sucking as opposed to light flicks of the tongue during oral are much more effective for me.

Related or not, I don't think I've ever climaxed from PIV alone... always need som clitoral stimulation as well.


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#24 ·
I have absolutely no idea how large my clit is compared to others. They aren't really out there in the open to observe, even in locker rooms. I'll ask my husband, but he's only been with one other woman, and I don't think he knew very much when he was 18. Maybe we will have a scientific contrast and compare session this weekend with computer pics. 😀

We did measure the distance from my clit to the vaginal opening once, which is small. Seems women with a larger distance between don't normally orgasm from piv.
 
#28 ·
To all the women out there: TELL your man what you like, and what you don't like, OUT LOUD! It makes it so much easier for them to get better at pleasing you!

There's nothing more satisfying for me than to see my wife in the waves of orgasmic glory. I absolutely love her taste, and cleaning up afterward is to die for. I get so turned on that I sometimes can't contain myself and have an O without meaning to. Fortunately, I can still go for as long as needed most of the time.
 
#32 ·
I'm very sensitive. During oral direct licking just hurts, and fingers... the thought makes me shudder. Sucking though, that is glorious and the only thing that works for me. I have a toy that mimics that and she's my best friend. With vibrators I cannot (usually) put them directly on my clit, I have to put them just above.

My second husband, who has a long track record with women, complains about it. I'm kind of glad to read there are other women in a similar boat, he had me feeling like a freak of nature.
 
#33 ·
Sorry to hear that. My wife's clitoris is sensitive too but in a good way. With direct clitoral stimulation she will reach orgasm in under 3 minutes. With a little more foreplay or sometimes with oral, she will orgasm under 1 minute. Lucky me. The problem is that she orgasms too quickly so that I cannot enjoy what I am doing to her most times. Once she orgasms, I cannot touch her clitoris again for about 5-10 minutes. She has to push me away as she is orgasming because her clitoris becomes super sensitive. We gave up on intercoures about 20 years ago because she is the female version of a premature ejaculator. As a result we have a lot of foreplay because once I start making her orgasm, it is over with quickly and she needs time to recover.

At one time my wife behaved similar to yours and sometimes still does. As soon as I tried to get near her vagina she would push my hand or heat away because she was extremely sensitive and would jump at my touch. She adapted and I have to start off gently and near but not touching her clitoris and work my way to it slowly. She made an effort to control it and now only rarely complains that it hurts or is too sensitive. When I touch her she jumps as if lightning hit her unless we get her clitoris used to it over time. Our girlfriend did not have sensitive clitoris. It took her a half hour or more to orgasm, even when using a vibrator. My wife has spoiled me for other women who make me work long and hard to give them an orgasm.

Hope it works out for you.
 
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#35 ·
I have a vibrator that is U-shaped which is great for indirect clitoris stimulation. I would highly recommend it for ladies on top position. Just tuck it in there and ride it out. Lol. I would have to say that mine is especially sensitive right after an orgasm.

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