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post #16 of 67 (permalink) Old 02-26-2017, 08:05 PM
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Re: Husband and daughter

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Originally Posted by blueinbr View Post
I have a feeling OP won't return
Way to early to tell that.

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post #17 of 67 (permalink) Old 02-26-2017, 08:07 PM
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Re: Husband and daughter

@greytulips,

How old is your daughter?
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post #18 of 67 (permalink) Old 02-26-2017, 08:08 PM
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Re: Husband and daughter

Did you husband and daughter see you?
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post #19 of 67 (permalink) Old 02-26-2017, 09:14 PM
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Re: Husband and daughter

Speaking as a Moderator:

It is a violation of forum rules to call out a poster as a troll. Please use the report button.

"Our ability to feel joy is directly related to how much pain we are willing to feel." - Mavash.

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post #20 of 67 (permalink) Old 02-26-2017, 10:01 PM
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Cool Re: Husband and daughter

Go back to that home with the police in tow and get your child away from that pervert!

Expect to be chastised for abandoning her every bit as much as he is for his shameful and unspeakable actions but please rest assured that he will be expeditiously ferried off to the clink!

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My Story! http://talkaboutmarriage.com/going-t...andonment.html
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post #21 of 67 (permalink) Old 02-27-2017, 05:13 AM
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Re: Husband and daughter

OP if you read this I understand what you saw shocked you and you ran because you didn't know how to deal with it. Possibly that's the same reason you are not returning to this site, you realize you didn't react appropriately and now you are ashamed and don't want to deal with the harsh judgement.

You still need to do everything in your power to make this right. It doesn't matter if your daughter is the age of consent or not, what matters is your husband, the man who also served as a father to this child has abused his position in a sickening way. You have to realize this didn't just happen unless he was forcibly raping her at the moment you saw them, more than likely he has been grooming her for years, and probably abusing her for some time now.

Call the police, get a protective order covering you and the child, have him removed from the home, prosecute him if possible, divorce him as quickly as possible. You have an obligation to protect your daughter, this isn't about you feeling ashamed or embarrassed, you need to rescue your child from this man regardless of how it affects your feelings. Both of you need to get into counseling, this is a big big deal, you can't sweep it under the rug.
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post #22 of 67 (permalink) Old 02-27-2017, 11:17 AM Thread Starter
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Re: Husband and daughter

I understand why do you all blame me for leaving her with him, i do regret that a lot. She's my daughter and she means the world to me but that day, when i walked on them having sex, it was clear that she was enjoying it. i know that she's a child she doesn't know the right from the wrong and is somehow unable to make her own decisions but i was too shocked to know what's the right thing to do.

Every time i think about going back and doing what you all suggested i should do the images of that day hit me and i feel incapable of doing them. I'm not really hurt that he cheated on me, what hurt me most was seeing her like that. i stood there for almost three minutes or more and they just kept going now those imagines are tattooed to my brain and i can not unsee them.
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post #23 of 67 (permalink) Old 02-27-2017, 11:25 AM
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Re: Husband and daughter

You need to call the police right now. More than likely, this has been going on for a long time. Most likely he targeted you because you had a daughter. He has been grooming her.

I cannot for the life of me understand how you could leave her with that animal. PLEASE prove him wrong. Find your strength right now and get your daughter and put that animal in jail. You are acting like a victim, you're not. You are supposed to protect her. SHE IS THE VICTIM in this. Of course she acted like she was enjoying this, HE GROOMED HER and who knows what he told her to get her to comply.

ETA: I am a victim of CSA and no one protected me. I acted like I enjoyed it too because I was scared to death. You are only thinking about yourself right now. STOP IT & take action.
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post #24 of 67 (permalink) Old 02-27-2017, 11:26 AM
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Re: Husband and daughter

It has been asked by others. Just how old is your daughter.

(I still find the whole scenario disgusting).
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post #25 of 67 (permalink) Old 02-27-2017, 11:34 AM Thread Starter
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Re: Husband and daughter

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Originally Posted by rockon View Post
It has been asked by others. Just how old is your daughter.

(I still find the whole scenario disgusting).
she's 18

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post #26 of 67 (permalink) Old 02-27-2017, 11:52 AM
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Re: Husband and daughter

I still think you need to call the police and have this investigated, it doesn't matter if she is 18 and looked like she was enjoying it. You are shocked and scared, we get that, but you need to force yourself to take action. The man is a predator, your daughter is probably not his first victim. Frankly it also doesn't matter if the day she turned 18 she told him she wanted to have sex with him, he is still a sick individual for agreeing and needs to be investigated, and she needs therapy to straighten her thinking out.

You need to involve the authorities, there's a very slim chance your daughter initiated this. Let the police figure out if there has been a illegal crime committed, everyone can recognize a moral crime has been committed.
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post #27 of 67 (permalink) Old 02-27-2017, 12:00 PM
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Re: Husband and daughter

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Originally Posted by Cooper View Post
I still think you need to call the police and have this investigated, it doesn't matter if she is 18 and looked like she was enjoying it. You are shocked and scared, we get that, but you need to force yourself to take action. The man is a predator, your daughter is probably not his first victim. Frankly it also doesn't matter if the day she turned 18 she told him she wanted to have sex with him, he is still a sick individual for agreeing and needs to be investigated, and she needs therapy to straighten her thinking out.

You need to involve the authorities, there's a very slim chance your daughter initiated this. Let the police figure out if there has been a illegal crime committed, everyone can recognize a moral crime has been committed.
Wait, so she is of consenting age (18) and you want to call the police? Whether morally it is right or wrong, she should talk to her H and her daughter (separately) first, not get the authorities involved in something that is not illegal at face value.
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post #28 of 67 (permalink) Old 02-27-2017, 12:06 PM
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Re: Husband and daughter

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Originally Posted by EllisRedding View Post
Wait, so she is of consenting age (18) and you want to call the police? Whether morally it is right or wrong, she should talk to her H and her daughter (separately) first, not get the authorities involved in something that is not illegal at face value.
I agree.

Have a heart to heart with your daughter and find out how long this has been going on first.

"Life always offers you a second chance. It's called tomorrow."
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post #29 of 67 (permalink) Old 02-27-2017, 12:12 PM
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Re: Husband and daughter

She's 18. This has probably been going on for a long time... meaning he's probably been sexually abusing her for years. Why do I say that.. because something serious had to happen to break down the normal taboo that most humans have for sex between parent figures and children.

Have you gone to see a therapist? if you cannot deal with talking to your daughter and helping her in what is probably a case of long term abuse, the do something to help her. Or at least do something so that someone else can find out if she's been abused for years.

Get an emergency appointment with a therapist and see if they can help intervene. Because of the high probability that this is a long term abuse case, they can probably do something. If they cannot legally. Then see if you can get your daughter to come in for an appointment with you and the counselor.
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post #30 of 67 (permalink) Old 02-27-2017, 12:19 PM
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Re: Husband and daughter

Quote:
Originally Posted by greytulips View Post
I understand why do you all blame me for leaving her with him, i do regret that a lot. She's my daughter and she means the world to me but that day, when i walked on them having sex, it was clear that she was enjoying it. i know that she's a child she doesn't know the right from the wrong and is somehow unable to make her own decisions but i was too shocked to know what's the right thing to do.

Every time i think about going back and doing what you all suggested i should do the images of that day hit me and i feel incapable of doing them. I'm not really hurt that he cheated on me, what hurt me most was seeing her like that. i stood there for almost three minutes or more and they just kept going now those imagines are tattooed to my brain and i can not unsee them.
OMG! What kind of child was she before this? I agree with other posters. This has probably been going on for some time. And him, now that you see his true colors, was there anything before this that might have made you think of him as slightly perverted?

Even if I don't get likes for it, I'm still going to say it.
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