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post #31 of 67 (permalink) Old 02-27-2017, 12:26 PM
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Re: Husband and daughter

If your daughter is 18 now, then she is a consenting adult. However distasteful this is, it is not illegal. Still, you do absolutely have the right to divorce him on the spot.

Is there reason to believe that this was going on earlier? If so that is illegal and he can go to prison for a long time.

Do you think she is truly doing this of her own free will or has been coerced in some way.

Even though as an adult she may have made a choice to cheat with your husband I think protecting ones children still takes precedence, but I can see other viewpoints.

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post #32 of 67 (permalink) Old 02-27-2017, 12:31 PM
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Re: Husband and daughter

greytulips,

Please check your private messages (PMs).
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post #33 of 67 (permalink) Old 02-27-2017, 12:38 PM
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Re: Husband and daughter

greytulips,

You have been in shock. It is it for you to angry and use the anger as energy to do what you need to do.

Get into therapy and get the counselor to help you with this and with your daughter. You need to find out if he was abusing her when she was underage.

See a lawyer and file for divorce. If he's been abusing your daughter all along, you should be able to take him to the cleaners. This is one time when I would cheer you on for doing that. He deserves to be destroyed.

Do you want to go back to live in your home? If you do, have the lawyer help you kick him out. Under the circumstances you should have no problem getting a retraining order against him and getting him out of the house.

If you do not want to move back into your house, you need to go there and remove every thing that is yours. Either rent a place and move your stuff or get a storage unit and store all your stuff.

And you absolutely need to get all of the financial, legal and personal paperwork so that you know have access to everything for the divorce.

While I realize that this is quite a shock, you have spent too much time wallowing in it and not acting.

GET BUSY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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post #34 of 67 (permalink) Old 02-27-2017, 01:02 PM
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Re: Husband and daughter

So you have been at a friends house for over 6 weeks and they haven't asked why ?

Does your perv husband know that you caught him ?

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post #35 of 67 (permalink) Old 02-27-2017, 01:50 PM
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Re: Husband and daughter

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Originally Posted by EllisRedding View Post
Wait, so she is of consenting age (18) and you want to call the police? Whether morally it is right or wrong, she should talk to her H and her daughter (separately) first, not get the authorities involved in something that is not illegal at face value.
I can see the legal side of it, if it was truly consensual and never happened until after she turned the age of consent then legally it's not a crime. Regardless, I would still want to see that guys world turned upside down for crossing the line.

Is insest a crime even between consenting adults? If it is is it a crime only for blood relatives? Is it a crime for parental figures and their children? What if the guy had legally adopted the girl, does that make it a crime?
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post #36 of 67 (permalink) Old 02-27-2017, 02:03 PM
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Re: Husband and daughter

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Originally Posted by Cooper View Post
I can see the legal side of it, if it was truly consensual and never happened until after she turned the age of consent then legally it's not a crime. Regardless, I would still want to see that guys world turned upside down for crossing the line.

Is insest a crime even between consenting adults? If it is is it a crime only for blood relatives? Is it a crime for parental figures and their children? What if the guy had legally adopted the girl, does that make it a crime?
Assuming it only started when she was 18 and it was consensual on her part (which we don't know), then there is no crime legally. Someone can correct me if there is an instance where both parties are 18+, engage in consensual sex, and it is a crime (maybe if there is a handicap involved, IDK).

Once again, I understand the moral issues people have with this, but seriously, you want to turn this guy's life around and possibly ruin him by getting the authorities involved when, as what we know currently, there is no crime

The mom can feel free to bash this guy left and right for what he did, but once again, we are talking about getting the authorities involved when no crime has been committed ...
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post #37 of 67 (permalink) Old 02-27-2017, 02:16 PM
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Re: Husband and daughter

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Originally Posted by EllisRedding View Post
Assuming it only started when she was 18 and it was consensual on her part (which we don't know), then there is no crime legally. Someone can correct me if there is an instance where both parties are 18+, engage in consensual sex, and it is a crime (maybe if there is a handicap involved, IDK).

Once again, I understand the moral issues people have with this, but seriously, you want to turn this guy's life around and possibly ruin him by getting the authorities involved when, as what we know currently, there is no crime

The mom can feel free to bash this guy left and right for what he did, but once again, we are talking about getting the authorities involved when no crime has been committed ...
The talk about getting the police/etc. involved came first from people thinking that the daughter was underage.

Now that we know that the daughter is over 18, the issue is whether or not this started when the girl was underage.
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post #38 of 67 (permalink) Old 02-27-2017, 02:21 PM
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Re: Husband and daughter

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Originally Posted by EleGirl View Post
The talk about getting the police/etc. involved came first from people thinking that the daughter was underage.

Now that we know that the daughter is over 18, the issue is whether or not this started when the girl was underage.
Agreed, which is why I agree with you, start divorce proceedings immediately, talk to her D and get a therapist involved to dig more into what exactly happened. Go from there
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post #39 of 67 (permalink) Old 02-27-2017, 02:22 PM
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Re: Husband and daughter

She has to actually stop hiding, go and face this man and her daughter to find out when all this started. @greytulips you going to have to come out of hiding and do what you know needs to be done.

Plot twist: what if she says she is in love with him, the daughter, I mean?

Even if I don't get likes for it, I'm still going to say it.
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post #40 of 67 (permalink) Old 02-27-2017, 05:50 PM
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Re: Husband and daughter

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Originally Posted by EllisRedding View Post
The mom can feel free to bash this guy left and right for what he did, but once again, we are talking about getting the authorities involved when no crime has been committed ...
However... if he was "grooming" her or they had sex before she turned 18, then it is VERY much a crime and the authorities should be involved.

We need more information from OP. It's highly unlikely that this happened out of the blue when she turned 18. My guess is he's been perving for quite awhile...


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post #41 of 67 (permalink) Old 02-27-2017, 09:30 PM
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Re: Husband and daughter

OP is not coming back.
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post #42 of 67 (permalink) Old 02-28-2017, 01:51 AM
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Re: Husband and daughter

This guy had sex with his step-daughter in his wife's bed and kept it up for at least 3 minutes after his wife came into the room. Yeah, I'd turn his life around, upside down and inside out and hope to God his life was ruined and his pecker fell off. He gets no mercy. He can crawl under a rock and die.
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post #43 of 67 (permalink) Old 02-28-2017, 03:40 AM
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Cool Re: Husband and daughter

Quote:
Originally Posted by Cooper View Post
I can see the legal side of it, if it was truly consensual and never happened until after she turned the age of consent then legally it's not a crime. Regardless, I would still want to see that guys world turned upside down for crossing the line.

Is insest a crime even between consenting adults? If it is is it a crime only for blood relatives? Is it a crime for parental figures and their children? What if the guy had legally adopted the girl, does that make it a crime?
In Texas, as well as a plethora of other common law jurisdictions, incest among adults(i.e., say among adult siblings, cousins, and even adult children) itself is indeed, a crime ~ but is rarely, if ever, enforced!

Unless of course, an adult and a child of the aforementioned family linage have engaged in either consensual or non-consensual sex; in which case it would be quickly and most gleefully prosecuted firstly as sexual abuse or rape of a child and secondarily as incest!

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post #44 of 67 (permalink) Old 02-28-2017, 05:12 AM
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Re: Husband and daughter

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Originally Posted by EllisRedding View Post
Assuming it only started when she was 18 and it was consensual on her part (which we don't know), then there is no crime legally. Someone can correct me if there is an instance where both parties are 18+, engage in consensual sex, and it is a crime (maybe if there is a handicap involved, IDK).

Once again, I understand the moral issues people have with this, but seriously, you want to turn this guy's life around and possibly ruin him by getting the authorities involved when, as what we know currently, there is no crime

The mom can feel free to bash this guy left and right for what he did, but once again, we are talking about getting the authorities involved when no crime has been committed ...
Ellis you and are are going to have to disagree on this. I would very much like to see this guys life turned upside down, he crossed so far over a line he deserves to be punished and I'm not picky how it's done. Maybe that's a shame on me but I'm OK with that.

Let's say he has been grooming this kid for years, I would guess he has her convinced it's love, convinced her it's OK, all sorts of brain washing is possible. Do you think a distraught mother questioning the two of them is going to be able to get the truth out of them? Is the mother a skilled interrogator able to cipher thru what's BS and what's the truth? I think not. That is why you call the police and CPSA, let them handle the investigation, they have the professional experience necessary to deal with this, mom does not.
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post #45 of 67 (permalink) Old 02-28-2017, 06:08 AM
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Cool Re: Husband and daughter

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Originally Posted by greytulips View Post
She's 18
Her age of 18 would pretty much absolve any perputuity of a crime on your H's part, more especially when you recently discovered it!

But the far bigger question that now looms is just how long has this "time of their lives" activity between him and her been going on?

Something tells me that this event where you barged in on their lurid little act wasn't exactly their first time at the rodeo together!

Given that, if it was not their first copulatory act, then it could well have been going on as far back as when she was a minor, which in effect, makes those particular acts illegal! And also with an extremely lengthy statute of limitations!

And he might well be victorious in a criminal trial setting for such a charge, but the whole experience would be more than harrowing since he cannot keep her off the witness stand with any kind of an exclusionary rule!

And she would absolutely be pile-driven by both the prosecution and by the defense as a hostile witness, who might be innately and coyly wishing to protect her old man for these unspeakable and heinous acts that he committed against her!

"To love another person is to see the face of God!" - Jean Valjean from Les Miserables

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