troubled marriage,please help
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Old 12-24-2011, 03:21 AM   #1 (permalink)
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Default troubled marriage,please help

He met me at a bar in early 2004 with whom he claimed was love at first sight.he asked for my phone number and I gave it to him saying if you can memorize it then call.he called the next day and we dated for a while soon getting engaged in December 2005
but at the same time he used to sexually harrass women who rejected him or would get verbally abusive and call them the C word.at his workplace
he would flirt and hit on plenty of women while being engaged and while dating me
He wanted a child as quickly as possible.
Before mariage he would hold hands and talk but after marriage everything has drastically changed.
And the same year pictures surfaced of him and a younger looking girl sitting on his lap while he was showing off his wedding ring to the camera!
In 2007 also he got platonic with a girl half his age by repeatedly kissing her on the head or cheeks or hugging her or lifting her up in his arms..
i saw pictures of him(of 4 years ago the year we got married) with a skimpy clad girl sitting on his lap while he with his shirt off was showing his wedding ring to the camera and another was him sitting with three skimpy clad blond girls(one of the three was the girl who sat on his lap). they can't be fans as girls don't walk wearing bustiers in hotels or restaurants.
however he did get a tattoo of his my name early in 2007.
He had his first baby,a daughter in July 2008 which changed him a bit.

But In June 2011(now hes 31) he thrashed his 24 year old friend and colleague by revealing her sexual antics on radio,the number of men he knows she slept with and who's she sleeping with while hes talking and in August he said he's a fan of the same friend which this girl and my cousin were great friends fir the last 5 years.i saw a picture of him posing very closely with her(arm on her waist,body tilted) which was not of his workplace,it looked like they were going somewhere,
Only during this interview when he was angry with his colleague he mentioned me saying how much his in laws care for him,how much i love him and what he put me through when he overdosed on drugs

And a recent photograph and video came out showing him with a blonde girl with whom he was cuddling from behind,touching her head or face or bending to kiss her head and wrapped his arms aound her chest,and was laughing and joking.It was taken at a restaurant as i could make out.
the person had made a video of it refused to mention where she put up the video

and when i go to watch him perform at the theater he goes and kisses me in the crowd when finished.even before he had an affair with his colleague he would kiss me in the crowd after he finished performing.
why he kissed me then???for show??
wat sort of marriage is this?
he is wealthy.he recently bought the front row of a theater in an auction.
He is a very good father though.and our daughter is very attached to him.he makes her sit on his shoulders while they went to the zoo.he plays with her,looks after her drawings,preschool studies,teaches her swimming and is always takes her in his arms.They eat together,sit together and are very close to each other.My daughter also loves him very much.she has given him chains saying 'i love you daddy' and all.
when she was born he got her name and birthdate along with a rose etched on his arm.He proudly displays that tattoo but doesnt bother to show mine now at all.

we dont even talk much more so in public.when i go with him to events he gets busy with his colleagues children or remains quiet,looks here and there.even people and critics since we acted in a documentary in which he was shown bonding with hi family call our chemistry contrived,boring fluff and unnatural.
once there was a fancy dinner where i went with him.even there he didnt get his pictures clicked wth me even once.when we were leaving only then he i was caught with him on camera.he would leave me abruptly and would chat with other people.
even when we pose for pictures together theres not much of a contact like i hold him by his arm sometimes or shift towards him for pictures but,he holds other women like his close female colleague by her waist but not with me.

whats is this going on???
no love at all and will i get dumped?
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Old 12-24-2011, 04:23 AM   #2 (permalink)
MrK
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Default Re: troubled marriage,please help

Hmmm...

You joined in Nov and started this exact thread. Got a few responses and started another. Got a few responses and started another. All the same thing. This is number 9. Twelve total posts and NINE of them are the exact same thread starter.

I felt bad for you at first. Now I just want to give you this one piece of advice then ask you to leave us alone.

Leave him. He's a narcissistic adulterer. He flaunts his infidelity in public. He is poison to your mental health. He's rich. Divorce him and find someone else. Take half of what he has now and a good part of what he'll make in the future.

What is your deal?
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Old 12-24-2011, 12:27 PM   #3 (permalink)
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Default Re: troubled marriage,please help

This sounds like something out of a book or movie. Just sayin'.
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Old 12-24-2011, 02:46 PM   #4 (permalink)
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Default Re: troubled marriage,please help

Alina,

You either need to accept the situation or leave him. It's that simple.

From what you have written (I've read all of your posts) , you are with him mostly for his money. Though on some level you still want him to love you. I have no doudt that you would have left him some time ago were it not for his money.

He keeps you around only as the mother of his child. He loves only himself... and his daughter as an extension of himself.

Do the two of you still have a sex life? If you do, make sure he uses condoms. And get tested for STDs.

If you decide to stay with him then just accept the situation. Enjoy as much freedom as his money and his party life gives you.

Of, if you want to make a life for yourself, get an education. He has the money for you to go to school. Get a college degree, perhaps all the way to the Masters or PHD in a field you enjoy. Then leave him and sue him for huge amounts of spousal support and child support.

You are responsible for you own happyness. So get happy. Forget about this narcassitic, childish 'man' you married. Show your daughter what a real woman is. Or she is going to turn out like the play girls her father likes.

From reading your posts English is not your first language. What is your first language? Where do you live? In the USA? Or somewhere else?

What are you interested in? What would you like to do with your life?

Do you like helping people? YOu could get a degree in social work and in business so taht you could run a charity and make a huge difference in the world.

Do you like fashion? Get a degree in fashion design... and become someone who sets fashion trends. Shoot you probably know a lot of wealthy women who would buy your fashions. And design clothing for little girls too.. not baby **** outfits but real fashion for sweet little girls.

Or do you like to cook? Become a chef.. there are great chef schools all over the world.

And... you don't need to leave this site as one person suggested. But if you do stay here quit writing the same post over and over. You are stuck and need to stop this. Come here more often and talk to us. Find out who YOU are and what YOU want out of life. This 'man' is not the person you want him to be. He never will be. So hang out here and let us help you find your way to who YOU are.

Now... can you answer my question ... What do YOU want to do with your life.. What are your interests?
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Old 01-03-2012, 02:40 PM   #5 (permalink)
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Default Re: troubled marriage,please help

Quote:
Originally Posted by EleGirl View Post
Alina,

You either need to accept the situation or leave him. It's that simple.

From what you have written (I've read all of your posts) , you are with him mostly for his money. Though on some level you still want him to love you. I have no doudt that you would have left him some time ago were it not for his money.

He keeps you around only as the mother of his child. He loves only himself... and his daughter as an extension of himself.

Do the two of you still have a sex life? If you do, make sure he uses condoms. And get tested for STDs.

If you decide to stay with him then just accept the situation. Enjoy as much freedom as his money and his party life gives you.

Of, if you want to make a life for yourself, get an education. He has the money for you to go to school. Get a college degree, perhaps all the way to the Masters or PHD in a field you enjoy. Then leave him and sue him for huge amounts of spousal support and child support.

You are responsible for you own happyness. So get happy. Forget about this narcassitic, childish 'man' you married. Show your daughter what a real woman is. Or she is going to turn out like the play girls her father likes.

From reading your posts English is not your first language. What is your first language? Where do you live? In the USA? Or somewhere else?

What are you interested in? What would you like to do with your life?

Do you like helping people? YOu could get a degree in social work and in business so taht you could run a charity and make a huge difference in the world.

Do you like fashion? Get a degree in fashion design... and become someone who sets fashion trends. Shoot you probably know a lot of wealthy women who would buy your fashions. And design clothing for little girls too.. not baby **** outfits but real fashion for sweet little girls.

Or do you like to cook? Become a chef.. there are great chef schools all over the world.

And... you don't need to leave this site as one person suggested. But if you do stay here quit writing the same post over and over. You are stuck and need to stop this. Come here more often and talk to us. Find out who YOU are and what YOU want out of life. This 'man' is not the person you want him to be. He never will be. So hang out here and let us help you find your way to who YOU are.

Now... can you answer my question ... What do YOU want to do with your life.. What are your interests?
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